Look into the research how effective therapy is. For some specific treatments it can be effective but too many times it makes things worse.

Ruminating for an hour a week on the negative aspects of your life, often makes things worse. The therapist being supportive often tries to assign blame for the issue /problem to someone else often a parent.

I am always suspicious of parents pushing therapy on their kids.

She's telling you she's overwhelmed. Will forcing her to attend really yield the result you want?

What is it that therapy did for her last time, and are the problems she's facing today the same as before? What are they, exactly?

I’d have everyone go to family therapy to start the ball rolling again.

For reference, we pulled our 9th grader out of a top private school, got the kid intensive help for mental health issues, put the kid in very low key school, and now kid is sophomore in top 50 college, thriving socially and academically.

I just give this example to help you understand there are many academic paths and slowing the school train down, or hopping of of it in our kid's case, can be important when addressing mental health issues and does NOT mean your kid will have a bad academic outcome long term.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is tutoring a non negotiable?

Because school is an incredible struggle, and it’s the only way to keep up.

I dunno, falling behind in school doesn’t seem as bad as having life fall apart. It seems like if she got her overwhelm under control, school might be easier.

+1 - getting into college isn’t as important as actually surviving HS.

Maybe a different school that's not such a struggle?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is tutoring a non negotiable?

Because school is an incredible struggle, and it’s the only way to keep up.

I dunno, falling behind in school doesn’t seem as bad as having life fall apart. It seems like if she got her overwhelm under control, school might be easier.

I agree with this sentiment. You might need to take a step back in order to leap forward. I understand where they are coming from in terms of balancing the schedule and time management, but you might need to make the executive decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is tutoring a non negotiable?

Because school is an incredible struggle, and it’s the only way to keep up.

I dunno, falling behind in school doesn’t seem as bad as having life fall apart. It seems like if she got her overwhelm under control, school might be easier.

Can you put a hold on therapy for a few weeks and start after summer vacation begins?

Anonymous wrote:Can you skip the tutoring the first week of therapy? Or does that open a door you can’t close?

We need to stick with routines as much as possible.

Anonymous wrote:Why is tutoring a non negotiable?

Because school is an incredible struggle, and it’s the only way to keep up.

Why is tutoring a non negotiable?

Can you skip the tutoring the first week of therapy? Or does that open a door you can’t close?

Can you set up a phone call with her and the therapist she liked so the therapist can connect ahead of time and encourage her to attend? You can absolutely validate that she feels like she’s got no free time and try to negotiate what the summer will look like. But in the end, you’re the parent and she has to go. Can you present it to her that you have to insist as the parent, and if she is a parent someday won’t she want to do the best for her own kid?

Help! 12 year old is refusing therapy even though it’s glaringly obvious that it’s time to go back. We stopped bc insurance changed and we lost the therapist she liked, but she was in a good place so we took a break. It’s time to start again. We gave her the choice of the old therapist (we would pay out of pocket if we have to - we are desperate) or to try a new one .

She doesn’t want to go. Part of her current situation is feeling overwhelmed and she doesn’t want another commitment. The other commitments are non negotiable, like tutoring. We have scaled back on as many things as we can.

She needs the help and she knows it. I can just schedule it and insist she goes and take away the phone or something if she refuses but she’ll never open up if it’s so forced. I already bribe for every tutoring session. I guess I can bribe for this too. There has to be a better way.