Anonymous wrote:I feel like we really need to know what the condition was to understand this.

+1

Please get a sitter. I know, that would add to your mental load, but if you want to go to Pilates class (or whatever it is), you need to get some help.

I feel like we really need to know what the condition was to understand this.

Money. You take some of HIS increase in salary and you use it for YOUR benefit, whether it be career-wise somehow for you, lightening the load at home, whatever. Done in a matter of fact manner. Spend what's needed.

You could try a mindset of gratitude and appreciation instead of only thinking of yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the specific condition?

I’ve had a long-standing personal/health/wellbeing routine at home that keeps me grounded and brings me joy, but his new role comes with requirements that conflict with it. When I agreed to the life changes that came with his role, my one condition was that it not interfere with this, and now it has. He’s suggested a workaround, but it’s not ideal for me and isn’t what we originally agreed to. I’m trying to figure out where the line is between being supportive and giving up too much of myself. I don’t want to get too specific because it is very unique.

Do you think he actually can meet that condition and is just choosing not to? Should he have known this ahead of time? What do you want him to do about this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the specific condition?

I’ve had a long-standing personal/health/wellbeing routine at home that keeps me grounded and brings me joy, but his new role comes with requirements that conflict with it. When I agreed to the life changes that came with his role, my one condition was that it not interfere with this, and now it has. He’s suggested a workaround, but it’s not ideal for me and isn’t what we originally agreed to. I’m trying to figure out where the line is between being supportive and giving up too much of myself. I don’t want to get too specific because it is very unique.

What was his suggestion? Why is not acceptable? Getting a babysitter?

Anonymous wrote:But do you have good benefits from the sacrifices? I could get resentful if I let myself. But I remind myself of what we have because of my sacrifices and it makes me feel better. It doesn’t serve me to dwell on my sacrifices, to be honest. So I just don’t.

Yes. This is what makes me feel like I’m being petulant. But I’ve sacrificed a lot over the past few years and this just felt like the proverbial last straw.

Anonymous wrote:What is the specific condition?

I’ve had a long-standing personal/health/wellbeing routine at home that keeps me grounded and brings me joy, but his new role comes with requirements that conflict with it. When I agreed to the life changes that came with his role, my one condition was that it not interfere with this, and now it has. He’s suggested a workaround, but it’s not ideal for me and isn’t what we originally agreed to. I’m trying to figure out where the line is between being supportive and giving up too much of myself. I don’t want to get too specific because it is very unique.

Anonymous wrote:What is the specific condition?

Yes, depends on what he can't meet.

You can switch and take on primary breadwinner role and then set the terms.
But don't underestimate the stress that comes with that role. It's heavy- sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders
-Breadwinner mom

But do you have good benefits from the sacrifices? I could get resentful if I let myself. But I remind myself of what we have because of my sacrifices and it makes me feel better. It doesn’t serve me to dwell on my sacrifices, to be honest. So I just don’t.

Does he make a lot more?

What is the specific condition?

I’m feeling emotional fatigue after making several sacrifices to support my husband’s career over the past few years. We’ve made major life changes to accommodate his job, including a specific condition I set when he took on a new position a few weeks ago. Now, he’s finding out he can’t meet that condition, and I’m feeling resentful and a bit lost.

I work, but he’s the primary breadwinner, and I’ve been understanding of his career demands. At the same time, I feel like I’ve sacrificed a lot of myself, and I’m at a point where I don’t want to keep giving pieces of myself for his job. I’m not asking for much, just balance, but I’m struggling with how to get past my disappointment. Also, I know people may suggest that he look for a different job, but that’s not an option right now because of the benefits and stability his current role provides.

How do you deal with this kind of sacrifice fatigue and re-establish balance when your partner’s career demands so much?