Anonymous wrote:We'd talk about it and tell him what the punishment would be for NEXT time if he were to continue.

A one time thing doesn't sound too bad and he did go to the principals which might have scared him straight.

This. And NO you can without food as a punishment. Jesus.

No, you never take away food. Find something else like no going to the playground and have him write an apology to the teacher and principal.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t punish at home for school stuff if he was already punished there.

We talk about what he should do next time, why that was against our family values, etc etc. But at age five, taking dessert away tonight has no link in his brain to recess today.

+1.

What do you usually take away if your usual punishment is taking away privileges?

I would talk to him. Does he understand the issue and will try and to ensure any playing fits into the rules next time?

If yes, then done. No need for punishment. K kids are learning how bodies work, what the limits are, appropriate settings, etc. I save punishment for purposefully violating rules, not this kind of thing.

We'd talk about it and tell him what the punishment would be for NEXT time if he were to continue.

A one time thing doesn't sound too bad and he did go to the principals which might have scared him straight.

Anonymous wrote:I think if he was punished at school and he's in K, and it was a one time thing, I'd stick with talking about it and not dole out an additional punishment.

My kid was similarly disciplined for roughhousing (with a kid who was his close friend too) and he was so upset about being sent to the principal's office that really was punishment enough alone. We did have him make an apology to the teacher and his friend. No incidents in the two years since.

I force my kid to talk to me about whatever happened, what they’ll do differently, etc.

One thing I try to keep in mind is that my voice should sound like whatever voice I want them to have in their head. So it’s a firm boundary but also “whoa, why did this happen? What happened before and after? When did I have a chance to take an off ramp?” Etc.

I find that these chats are punishment enough! They act like I’m torturing them. So if the gentle parenting doesn’t work, maybe it is at least an effective deterrent.

If the conversation where you talk about what happened, let him know you are disappointed in him, and discuss how he can handle a conflict better the next time is unpleasant enough for him, that can be the punishment.

That's how my kid was. So embarrassed about getting in trouble, felt horrible when we were told, miserable talking about, but did listen and agreed not to do it again. I couldn't bring myself to issue another punishment after that because I could tell they already felt terrible.

I think if he was punished at school and he's in K, and it was a one time thing, I'd stick with talking about it and not dole out an additional punishment.

The only food punishment that could possibly ever be appropriate is no dessert. Just letting him eat fruit and vegetables as punishment is frankly a crazy idea.

Taking away food as punishment is a terrible idea.

I would have him write an apology letter. If he can't write yet I would have him recite an apology statement. We'd also talk about what happened and why it was a problem and what he should do differently in the future.

I don’t punish at home for school stuff if he was already punished there.

We talk about what he should do next time, why that was against our family values, etc etc. But at age five, taking dessert away tonight has no link in his brain to recess today.

I would make him write an apology and if he can't write yet, you write it and he can sign his name and deliver it.

I wouldn't take away food.

Child got in trouble for hitting another kid in school (kindergarten). Nothing malicious but boys rough housing and during recess. Obviously was addressed by the school immediately.

What punishment do you dole out at home? We don't do time outs but will take away privileges but in kindergarten its not like he has a ton of "things" to take away (ie no phone, tablet, etc). The thing this kid likes the most is food. He loves to eat. And doesn't stop when he is home.

Obviously we can't take away food as a punishment. Do we limit his food? Only let him eat fruits and vegetables? Is this even a punishment option?