I say this to people I don’t hang out with, as a way to excuse why I don’t foster our relationship more. I don’t say this to close friends or random people.

Because people think being busy means they are important.

My coworkers who complain the loudest about being busy are the ones having long Friday lunches, so I am skeptical.

Your social value is tied to being busy. If you don't like that lifestyle people assume its due to lack of opportunities.

I've two friends who feel the need to socialize not only all three nights of weekend but afternoons and often 2-3 weekday nights as well. They also have full time jobs and kids. Some people like to do it all but also feel FOMO for missing any social event.

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. We're all busy but why the need to be like "I only have 10 minutes a day to do this!" "I'll never catch up," "Work is so busy I have no down time," "I have no time to watch my tv shows," It's so old. I'm not even believing it anymore because if you were that busy you wouldn't have all that time to complain about it, especially when no one even asked!

Some are indeed overwhelmed with life but majority just says it because our society makes people feel insecure if they aren't complaining about their full social and professional calendar. There is a reason percentages of anxious, depressed, burnout, overwhelmed, divorced people are are so high.

I have a very busy social life. My entire April, May and part of June is already booked. First it was only the Saturdays. Now all the Fridays and Sundays are gone too.

I have to do all the necessary prep for this -
- Gifts and cards
- Clothes for each occasion and accessories (Yes, some of these are fancy stuff and we will be in photographs). Not only for me but also my DH because he will be too lazy otherwise.
- Hostess gifts and wrapping it. Flowers for performances.
- Haircuts, hair color, nails done.
- Finishing all the weekend chores during the week so that we are free on the weekends.
- Graduation preparations.

Bless the stress.

I avoid these people. In my experience, the people who complain most about being busy are the least productive, yet they seem to think they have to announce their busyness to everyone.

Yep, we’re sick with thinking that people must be incredibly productive 100% of the time. It’s a bore.

My field is imploding. I'd like to stay employable. I put an extreme number of hours into this and it's paying off, but it's costly. It is probably not apparent to other people that this is why I'm doing it. And I try to not talk about this, which is its own issue.

This is 2026 American culture. Busy = good person.

I mean this is such a DC thing.

People equate busyness with importance, and DC culture is very status conscious. I think part of it is that people do in fact make themselves extremely busy with work, volunteering, side projects, travel, kid activities, and socializing, and they are genuinely overwhelmed, but also feel like this is just what you have to do to be a successful adult in this area.

But also there's a layer of proving that they are important and worthwhile with their busyness, like "look look I'm doing all this stuff, see how important my life is, see how meaningful and impactful I am???" It's insecurity.

I definitely used to be more like this, especially pre-Covid and before having a SN kid and dealing with my own health crisis. But those things combined just killed it and now I aim low, value my downtime, and when I get feelings of inadequacy or worry I'm being "left behind" by peers or that my life isn't important enough, I go to therapy. Or journal. I've also been through the phase where I just burn out, procrastinate on everything and numb myself by watching TV and playing games on my phone. But I let go of using busy as a coping mechanism.

I agree it's off putting and makes it hard to relate to other people. But I just tell myself that person is going through something, it's not about me, and go on with my day. Which is not busy most of the time, for which I am very grateful.

I’ve noticed a phenomenon where if you say hi to one of these busy women, they will raise their eyebrows and say “what’s up?” as if to say “I only have a few seconds for you so if you have something important to tell me, spill it now. If you have nothing important to say, why are you talking to me.” They are always in a huge hurry and don’t want to chit chat. And it’s not just me because I’ve heard the same from others.

Anonymous wrote:I don't have time for this thread.

lol what are you SO BUSY doing?

I don't have time for this thread.

I don't get it. We're all busy but why the need to be like "I only have 10 minutes a day to do this!" "I'll never catch up," "Work is so busy I have no down time," "I have no time to watch my tv shows," It's so old. I'm not even believing it anymore because if you were that busy you wouldn't have all that time to complain about it, especially when no one even asked!