This is common IME. We get these for many extended family & friends’ kids who live across the country. They don’t really expect us to attend (but if it asks for an rsvp, then do). We send a congratulations card with a small amount of $ or gift card (but of course is not required). We just keep a pile of cards etc around the house for this.

They probably just sent the same thing to both local family/friends as the out of towners.

It's an invitation, so you RSVP. If they wanted to announce it, they would have sent you an announcement. Either way, decline and send a gift.

Sweet they invited you. Yes RSVP. Can send a card. No need to send a gift imo but if you feel strongly that you want to, that is fine too. You don’t have to reciprocate.

Decline and send a card. No gift necessary. It honestly feels like a gift grab that you even got sent an invite.

Gift

You should decline the rsvp and send a card from your family. Gift or no gift is totally up to you.

They probably don't have dual stationery items and included your son to share the news. Maybe it has a nice picture on it or whatever.

Send your congrats and any gift you find appropriate for an old friend. Check for $50?

Reciprocate with your son's invitation.

I'm sure they would be happy to see you if you could make it. But they won't be expecting you.

Decline and send a card. You don’t need to send a gift in this situation. They know you aren’t coming and maybe just invited everyone special in his life.

Anonymous wrote:If it's an invitation you send an RSVP. Decline and send a gift. Now you sort of have to invite them as well unless you have limited tickets.

It’s a graduation party that he was invited to, not the actual graduation. Are you for real? You do not invite a friend who moved away 10 hours to the actual graduation. And no, you aren’t required to reciprocate.

Anonymous wrote:Decline with a nice wish. No need to send a gift IMO. Send a card if you really want.

I do plan to send invites to people who were instrumental in DD’s life, even years ago (eg instrument teachers we exchange holiday cards with but not much more the last couple years). I’m not expecting gifts but want to include them as they helped make DD the person she is today.

This is a helpful perspective. Thank you!

Anonymous wrote:If it's an invitation you send an RSVP. Decline and send a gift. Now you sort of have to invite them as well unless you have limited tickets.

It was for the party not the actual ceremony. We do have limited tickets but if we didn’t, it wouldn’t even occur to me to invite a friend to a HS ceremony. We aren’t even having a party as DS doesn’t want one (just a family dinner) so there’s no reciprocal invite to make. I will RSVP and send a gift. I don’t want to offend and he is a really sweet kid.

Decline with a nice wish. No need to send a gift IMO. Send a card if you really want.

I do plan to send invites to people who were instrumental in DD’s life, even years ago (eg instrument teachers we exchange holiday cards with but not much more the last couple years). I’m not expecting gifts but want to include them as they helped make DD the person she is today.

If it's an invitation you send an RSVP. Decline and send a gift. Now you sort of have to invite them as well unless you have limited tickets.

I assume they sent this by mistake, they should have sent an announcement. Send a gift from your son.

DS is a soon to be graduating senior. He has a good friend from his ES days that he remained in close contact with. He now lives 10 hours away. This friend is also graduating and the family sent a graduation party invite. I wonder if this was meant to share news or if this was sent with an expectation that he might travel there for the party? It wouldn’t occur to me to invite a HS friend who lives so far for something like this so I’m inclined to think it’s more of sharing the announcement. Do you think they expect an RSVP? Or a gift? I want to respond appropriately.