Anonymous wrote:Yes you are wrong. They are recognizing that you’re new to the area and kindly offering to celebrate your pregnancy as a welcoming gesture. I would accept graciously.

Now, it is ok if you say, “this is so kind, thank you, but I prefer to keep it low key - please no games” or something like that

Anonymous wrote:AITA for refusing a baby shower from my husband’s friends/coworkers?

I live in a state where I moved & don’t really have friends ( i have 2) mostly because I work remotely, and don’t go out much. My husband is more social than I am , I have met his coworkers/friends multiple times in group settings, they are all very nice. I have never hung out with them without him. Now that im pregnant one of them offered to throw a baby shower at her house for me & to celebrate my husbands promotion. I told my husband if they want to celebrate his promotion & have a get together that’s totally fine but i would feel awkward and uncomfortable to have a baby shower with people im not necessarily close to. His perspective is that im putting on barriers and because i met them multiple times n they are his friends/coworkers i should feel comfortable. I feel like a baby shower is so intimate and you usually want to have friends, family. I appreciate the gesture but i would feel so weird n uncomfortable at someone’s house while they are hosting a party for me and im not super close to them. Am i wrong here?

Anonymous wrote:I don't think you're wrong, it's kind of OTT on their part honestly, but it sounds like your husband will be there and maybe it's not so much about throwing you a baby shower, but that they wanted to do something for his promotion but then felt like it should also include you and your baby, which is a nice gesture, I think, and with him there it will probably be fine.

If you're inclined to go I think you can either just not consider it "your baby shower" and just a party for your husband where they will also give you some baby gifts, or you can lean into it a bit and have your husband ask if he can invite your two friends. I guess his co-workers know that you just moved and you work remotely, so they are trying to be nice.

Generally though I would expect them to have celebrated this with your husband at the office (we've collected gifts and had showers in the conference room with just the dad) so it is kind of overstepping a bit and you're not wrong to feel like it's awkward.

Anonymous wrote:I would say yes, despite coming from a culture that doesn't do baby showers.

My coworkers threw me a mini one: it didn't take them much time or effort, so in my mind, it was just the right level of attention, It was a casual get-together with a few gifts for the baby, ice cream bar, and benign chit chat about babies. My childless, male, boss was there, and most of my male and female coworkers at the time were childless too. I think they were just excited about a baby!

I don't understand why you'd risk alienating people your husband works with, in a place where you don't have your own friends and don't go out much.

Please don't make a faux-pas.