Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 09:47     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Anonymous wrote:Tell us about these many situations where you’ve seen teachers and yet you’re not a teacher. Doubt it.

It’s the PARENTS fault. Parenting has shifted massively. They are afraid of making their kids sad so they give them what they want. They allow kids to negotiate everything—bedtime, meals, screen time. I’ve seen kids in stores whine because they want a toy and the parent gets it for them so they don’t have to hear the whining. Nowadays strollers have babies holding phones instead of looking at the world. Parents put on videos instead of reading to their kids. It’s absolutely insane. I was in another country over spring break and didn’t see a single child—baby, toddler, elementary school aged kid, even tween—with a device in their hands. Not one. And over here? It’s common place. No more delayed gratification. No more “you better listen to your teacher,” now it’s “why did the teacher yell at you? I’ll go talk to them.”

It’s really really bad now.


I do see teachers that are very good at managing the classroom. And teachers that cannot and react by blaming a few kids for disruption in the classroom. Talked to many teachers and parents at our school and that’s a reality. Moreover the threshold for expelling a kid from our private school is very low. Maybe the experience in other schools is different but that what I have seen.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 09:46     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
It’s awful. I’m on a group chat for the grade and the moms are constantly complaining about one teacher. “Jackson says she yells all the time and he feels uncomfortable at school. I’ve complained to the principal but nothings getting done. She won’t let him sit with his friends” Jackson is a disruptive little jerk and the teacher is at her wits end!!! Tell your kid to listen to his teacher instead of always taking his side!
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 09:44     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Parents used to feel shame and a sense of responsibility when they're kids misbehaved. Now they make excuses, denigrate the teachers, and use threats and money to make sure their kids don't face any consequences.

Some teachers run a pretty tight ship, but the more administrators focus on donations rather than principles and discipline, the less impact teachers will have.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 09:23     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Tell us about these many situations where you’ve seen teachers and yet you’re not a teacher. Doubt it.

It’s the PARENTS fault. Parenting has shifted massively. They are afraid of making their kids sad so they give them what they want. They allow kids to negotiate everything—bedtime, meals, screen time. I’ve seen kids in stores whine because they want a toy and the parent gets it for them so they don’t have to hear the whining. Nowadays strollers have babies holding phones instead of looking at the world. Parents put on videos instead of reading to their kids. It’s absolutely insane. I was in another country over spring break and didn’t see a single child—baby, toddler, elementary school aged kid, even tween—with a device in their hands. Not one. And over here? It’s common place. No more delayed gratification. No more “you better listen to your teacher,” now it’s “why did the teacher yell at you? I’ll go talk to them.”

It’s really really bad now.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 09:14     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When has a student’s behavior ever been the teacher’s fault?



Not the behavior, but the lack of skills to manage the situation. In my experience behavior problems could be easily managed by good teachers.


I’ve been teaching for over 20 years and I have strong classroom management.

Student behavior has changed dramatically. A teacher’s toolkit (the ways we can address behavior) has been greatly diminished by administrative policies.

You can’t compare what we experienced decades ago to a modern classroom.


+1.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:49     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When has a student’s behavior ever been the teacher’s fault?



Not the behavior, but the lack of skills to manage the situation. In my experience behavior problems could be easily managed by good teachers.


Wow, you have VERY limited experience which the range of behaviors across the population of children.


Maybe, but I have seen VERY and MANY incompetent teachers that cannot manage their classrooms.


And I have witnessed MANY teachers who have been handed nearly impossible situations, and yet they show up every day and give it their best. And I’m grateful for them.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:44     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When has a student’s behavior ever been the teacher’s fault?



Not the behavior, but the lack of skills to manage the situation. In my experience behavior problems could be easily managed by good teachers.


Wow, you have VERY limited experience which the range of behaviors across the population of children.


Maybe, but I have seen VERY and MANY incompetent teachers that cannot manage their classrooms.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:39     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Pretty much the only punishment teachers are allowed to use is taking away recess, and the parents absolutely howl if you do that because “it’s not developmentally appropriate for kids full of energy” so I’d love to know what punishment they’d accept for their darlings. They are terribly disruptive and the parents just excuse it with “they’re social and love talking with their friends” provided that the friends are the right ones from the good neighborhood.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:34     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When has a student’s behavior ever been the teacher’s fault?



Not the behavior, but the lack of skills to manage the situation. In my experience behavior problems could be easily managed by good teachers.


Wow, you have VERY limited experience which the range of behaviors across the population of children.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:15     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When has a student’s behavior ever been the teacher’s fault?



Not the behavior, but the lack of skills to manage the situation. In my experience behavior problems could be easily managed by good teachers.

If that's true, then the parents could do it even better as they know their kid well. They couldn't do it one one one, but you expect a teacher do it while trying to teach 20 other kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:12     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When has a student’s behavior ever been the teacher’s fault?



Not the behavior, but the lack of skills to manage the situation. In my experience behavior problems could be easily managed by good teachers.


I’ve been teaching for over 20 years and I have strong classroom management.

Student behavior has changed dramatically. A teacher’s toolkit (the ways we can address behavior) has been greatly diminished by administrative policies.

You can’t compare what we experienced decades ago to a modern classroom.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:11     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Anonymous wrote:When has a student’s behavior ever been the teacher’s fault?



Right?! I do think it is on the school to have conversations with the parents of disruptive kids and to issue real consequences to protect (including the eventual removal of the kid from the school) to protect the quality of education for other children, but it is definitely a sign the kid shouldn't be in that environment. They are either under stimulated (aka bored) or not ready to meet the expectations of the school.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:08     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
Anonymous wrote:When has a student’s behavior ever been the teacher’s fault?



Not the behavior, but the lack of skills to manage the situation. In my experience behavior problems could be easily managed by good teachers.
Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:06     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
When has a student’s behavior ever been the teacher’s fault?

Anonymous
Post 04/18/2026 08:00     Subject: Disruptive kids. Who is at fault the teacher or the kid?
When I was in school, disruptive kids were not much of an issue because the school and the teachers were extremely good at managing them. If there was a disruption, the teacher could remove the child quickly from the classroom and the lesson would continue.

My experience with private schools nowadays, through my child, has been very different. I see several disruptive kids who are not being effectively managed by the teacher, and those kids are eventually expelled.

So my question is: which approach is better overall? To me, there seems to be a trend toward shifting responsibility for classroom management from the teacher to the students. What do you think?