Anonymous
04/20/2026 14:35
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
I hear you and am with you, OP! Taxes are the WORST (so far). I'm glad you got a checklist and once you've gathered the documents, please use a tax preparer --worth every penny--to ease this burden.
After taxes are filed, try to treat yourself (and your folks?) to a nice meal or to something special. You earned it.
After taxes are filed, try to treat yourself (and your folks?) to a nice meal or to something special. You earned it.
Anonymous
04/20/2026 13:55
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
Should have simplified long ago and take over if they had no interest. Wait til you have to close their estate.
I plan to move abroad, pay for my care there, simplify my estate, and uber my own ashes to my town where everyone gets to drink and eat for free on me for days.
Screw this paperwork that uses up so much of peoples lives as if time isn't important.
I plan to move abroad, pay for my care there, simplify my estate, and uber my own ashes to my town where everyone gets to drink and eat for free on me for days.
Screw this paperwork that uses up so much of peoples lives as if time isn't important.
Anonymous
04/20/2026 12:53
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
Anonymous wrote:Yeah, OPM started opting everyone in to electronic statements unless you go in and ask for a paper one. I think it's a sh&tty thing to do to old people.
I’ve always gotten a paper 1099, no opting in.
Anonymous
04/20/2026 12:51
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It’s probably a 1099-R. Not employment related.
This. But it still doesn't make sense. If there is a tax preparer, why is OP acting as the go between transmitting her parents' documents to the tax preparer? This makes it sound like her parents are not particularly competent or reliable. But in that case, why did OP rely on their self-report of what documents they had? I would have logged into OPM with them back in February and made sure we had everything, and then sent to the preparer. Or, alternatively, just let them send the docs themselves and let the preparer deal with it. I'm not clear what the point is of being a go between if you are also just passively going to send along whatever they give you without checking to make sure it's correct or complete. That's the whole point.
To answer OP, yes, I am very tired and burned out and I spend my time doing all kinds of stupid administrative activities. My life often feels joyless and exhausting. But I do try to offload what I can and not take on additional tasks unless it really makes sense for me to do them. I already feel like so burned out from work and parenting.
This is a pretty unsympathetic message. I am also tired and worn out, but I'm not going to chastise another person who is feeling the same way. She came here to vent, are there different ways to handle things? Probably. But let's face it, when we get called in to support our aging family - it's often under duress without fully knowing what you are in for - just reacting to a situation trying to met deadlines, figure what is going on all the while managing everything else in our lives. To the OP, I'm sorry you had to go through this. It's not easy, sounds like you could use some sympathy.
Anonymous
04/20/2026 11:32
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
Anonymous wrote:It’s probably a 1099-R. Not employment related.
This. But it still doesn't make sense. If there is a tax preparer, why is OP acting as the go between transmitting her parents' documents to the tax preparer? This makes it sound like her parents are not particularly competent or reliable. But in that case, why did OP rely on their self-report of what documents they had? I would have logged into OPM with them back in February and made sure we had everything, and then sent to the preparer. Or, alternatively, just let them send the docs themselves and let the preparer deal with it. I'm not clear what the point is of being a go between if you are also just passively going to send along whatever they give you without checking to make sure it's correct or complete. That's the whole point.
To answer OP, yes, I am very tired and burned out and I spend my time doing all kinds of stupid administrative activities. My life often feels joyless and exhausting. But I do try to offload what I can and not take on additional tasks unless it really makes sense for me to do them. I already feel like so burned out from work and parenting.
Anonymous
04/20/2026 11:26
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
ME TOO omg
I took over and got necessary documents to tax preparer this year, by intercepting the mail and squirreling away the documents needed. My parent set aside a stack of papers 4 inches high of random receipts and printed internet articles for me to “take to tax preparer”. Yeah, no.
Of course now my parent keeps insisting they aren’t done despite signing them and called me 6 times in one hour on tax day when they heard on the radio it was tax day. I finally had to beg the accountant to please call and say they are done once again.
Didn’t help with taxes last year and apparently they were fraudulent. Zero income reported, despite hundreds of thousands of income. Yay.
Early dementia is not fun and caring for them is crazy making and exhausting.
I look forward to having my own time some day!
I took over and got necessary documents to tax preparer this year, by intercepting the mail and squirreling away the documents needed. My parent set aside a stack of papers 4 inches high of random receipts and printed internet articles for me to “take to tax preparer”. Yeah, no.
Of course now my parent keeps insisting they aren’t done despite signing them and called me 6 times in one hour on tax day when they heard on the radio it was tax day. I finally had to beg the accountant to please call and say they are done once again.
Didn’t help with taxes last year and apparently they were fraudulent. Zero income reported, despite hundreds of thousands of income. Yay.
Early dementia is not fun and caring for them is crazy making and exhausting.
I look forward to having my own time some day!
Anonymous
04/20/2026 11:18
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
It’s probably a 1099-R. Not employment related.
Anonymous
04/20/2026 11:15
Subject: Re:Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
So sorry to hear this, tax stuff always gets stressful.
If I can provide some input, my first year helping my mother with her taxes was an absolute nightmare. The second year her tax preparer provided me with her tax checklist, and I also got her to give me several years returns, so I was familiar with what we needed and what we were waiting on. Now starting around January 31st of each year- I set weekly lunches with her to review what she had received, what we were waiting on, and what was outstanding (I developed my own checklist in addition to the accountants). Some pieces are notoriously late - but I was much better prepared to assist her and avoided last-minute scrambles. We have developed a good flow. My guess is you will likely need to insert yourself in the process or at least use this moment to become more familiar with their finances. It will help you in the future.
If I can provide some input, my first year helping my mother with her taxes was an absolute nightmare. The second year her tax preparer provided me with her tax checklist, and I also got her to give me several years returns, so I was familiar with what we needed and what we were waiting on. Now starting around January 31st of each year- I set weekly lunches with her to review what she had received, what we were waiting on, and what was outstanding (I developed my own checklist in addition to the accountants). Some pieces are notoriously late - but I was much better prepared to assist her and avoided last-minute scrambles. We have developed a good flow. My guess is you will likely need to insert yourself in the process or at least use this moment to become more familiar with their finances. It will help you in the future.
Anonymous
04/16/2026 07:19
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
Anonymous wrote:Why is she still working if she can’t even file her taxes
+1
Anonymous
04/16/2026 01:55
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
And yes it’s annoying when parents are helpless and incompetent like that
Anonymous
04/16/2026 01:55
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
Why is she still working if she can’t even file her taxes
Anonymous
04/15/2026 23:48
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
Yeah, OPM started opting everyone in to electronic statements unless you go in and ask for a paper one. I think it's a sh&tty thing to do to old people.
Anonymous
04/15/2026 23:46
Subject: Re:Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
Anonymous wrote:Aww, I am sorry that you are feeling so tired ➕ burned out.
You are a very good child OP to do all of this. ❤️
Thank you. That’s nice of you.
OP
Anonymous
04/15/2026 21:46
Subject: Re:Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
Aww, I am sorry that you are feeling so tired ➕ burned out.
You are a very good child OP to do all of this. ❤️
You are a very good child OP to do all of this. ❤️
Anonymous
04/15/2026 21:42
Subject: Anyone else tired and burned out like me?
I am so, so tired.
Right now, I am searching for parent's 1099. Despite me sending the tax documents to the tax preparer in February, they did not bother telling me until yesterday that the still needed one more 1099. So, now we will file an extension despite me getting in the documents early and asking them in Feb if I was missing anything.
Now, I get to spend my life hours trying to get into the OPM website to download a 1099...
This is just one of many of the annoying things I spend my time doing.
So burned out. So tired.
Right now, I am searching for parent's 1099. Despite me sending the tax documents to the tax preparer in February, they did not bother telling me until yesterday that the still needed one more 1099. So, now we will file an extension despite me getting in the documents early and asking them in Feb if I was missing anything.
Now, I get to spend my life hours trying to get into the OPM website to download a 1099...
This is just one of many of the annoying things I spend my time doing.
So burned out. So tired.