Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the children are teens, you might be better off with a short-term mediator vs a parenting coordinator, especially since the teens will likely be choosing how much time they spend with each parent.

+1. The parenting coordinators are your teens.

+1000; Kids need to build the communication skills. Don't let them hide behind you every time they want a change. They have mouths, let them speak up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A therapist might be a better option, to help the parents accept their kids’ choices.

Kids should not choose or be put in the middle. They need both parents.

The reality of teens' group work for school, sports, volunteering, and work often means that 50/50 won't work. That's precisely why I recommended a mediator who would understand that teens' schedules shift and they might not be *able* to make 50/50 work, and even if they do? They do have a choice in whether they will be in their rooms, out with friends, at activities, or socializing with their parents.

Of course it will work. You do a week on, week off. Or, half a week at each house. What you are really asking is how do I get full custody as I'm trying to justify and rationalize it?

That's IF both parents live close enough to school to drive them to/from school, sports, piano lessons, blah blah. Many parents don't have 2 parents who live real close by, so that's when 50/50 doesn't work. AND both parents then need to have a bedroom for their children - not just have them use the pullout couch in the livingroom on their week. it could be a shared bedroom if the kids are same gender.

Having their own bedroom may be a luxury. Ideally both have bedrooms for the kids but if one cannot afford it they should not be punished and lose their kids.

Anonymous wrote:If the children are teens, you might be better off with a short-term mediator vs a parenting coordinator, especially since the teens will likely be choosing how much time they spend with each parent.

+1. The parenting coordinators are your teens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A therapist might be a better option, to help the parents accept their kids’ choices.

Kids should not choose or be put in the middle. They need both parents.

The reality of teens' group work for school, sports, volunteering, and work often means that 50/50 won't work. That's precisely why I recommended a mediator who would understand that teens' schedules shift and they might not be *able* to make 50/50 work, and even if they do? They do have a choice in whether they will be in their rooms, out with friends, at activities, or socializing with their parents.

Of course it will work. You do a week on, week off. Or, half a week at each house. What you are really asking is how do I get full custody as I'm trying to justify and rationalize it?

That's IF both parents live close enough to school to drive them to/from school, sports, piano lessons, blah blah. Many parents don't have 2 parents who live real close by, so that's when 50/50 doesn't work. AND both parents then need to have a bedroom for their children - not just have them use the pullout couch in the livingroom on their week. it could be a shared bedroom if the kids are same gender.

OP what do you think you need a parenting coordinator for? To help come up with a parenting plan or to have an ongoing role?

The fact is there are a lot of people who are not very good who will take your money and also interfere. So be careful. these people are not trained and they don’t have any duty towards you. Do not let a 3rd party into your life as a decision maker unless required by the courts.

That said, I did use Lisa Herrick in the initial stages of drafting a parenting plan. She was quite good and good at dealing with my jerky ex. But she wanted to put in legally binding provisions that I really object to and were not right for us (like agreeing that a mediator would actually make decisions on certain matters as they arose if we could not agree.) You really need your own lawyer to assess this stuff.

Later on Lisa was unavailable so we used a different woman to finalize our parenting plan (I have blocked out her name) who was absolutely awful. She actively tried to derail things my ex and I had already agreed on, got mad that I was trying to be focused instead of touchy feely, and didn’t actually produce any usable draft. what a waste of money.

If you think you want a parenting coordinator to make decisions on an ongoing basis if you disagree - please rethink that. It is a terrible idea and you should never, ever put into a legal agreement a clause that allows a 3rd party to make decisions for you.

If you just want someone to help you and your ex improve communication, help facilitate discussion - that is more appropriate for a couples therapist type person.

My therapist recommended Lisa Herrick but we never made it as far as consulting her. I do love my therapist and trust her opinion though

I had never heard of a parenting coordinator. Are these people licensed and does the license require mandatory reporting?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A therapist might be a better option, to help the parents accept their kids’ choices.

Kids should not choose or be put in the middle. They need both parents.

The reality of teens' group work for school, sports, volunteering, and work often means that 50/50 won't work. That's precisely why I recommended a mediator who would understand that teens' schedules shift and they might not be *able* to make 50/50 work, and even if they do? They do have a choice in whether they will be in their rooms, out with friends, at activities, or socializing with their parents.

Of course it will work. You do a week on, week off. Or, half a week at each house. What you are really asking is how do I get full custody as I'm trying to justify and rationalize it?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A therapist might be a better option, to help the parents accept their kids’ choices.

Kids should not choose or be put in the middle. They need both parents.

The reality of teens' group work for school, sports, volunteering, and work often means that 50/50 won't work. That's precisely why I recommended a mediator who would understand that teens' schedules shift and they might not be *able* to make 50/50 work, and even if they do? They do have a choice in whether they will be in their rooms, out with friends, at activities, or socializing with their parents.

Anonymous wrote:A therapist might be a better option, to help the parents accept their kids’ choices.

Kids should not choose or be put in the middle. They need both parents.

Do 59-50 and don’t have teens choose and get in the middle.

A therapist might be a better option, to help the parents accept their kids’ choices.

If the children are teens, you might be better off with a short-term mediator vs a parenting coordinator, especially since the teens will likely be choosing how much time they spend with each parent.

I am looking for a local parenting coordinator to help two parents in a high conflict divorce. Children are teenagers.

Does anyone have a receommneation or can you comment on any of these?
Lisa Herrick
Hallie Strauss
Colleen Bokman
Emily Gelmann (attorney)
Karen Robbins
Noland Kirby (virtual)