Men can much more easily leave their kids than women can. It screws up the kids something fierce.

My kids fly as unaccompanied minors to visit their grandparents a couple of times a year. They tell me that nearly all of the other unaccompanied minors on the flights are going to or from divorced parents. I think this is a more common situation than we realize.

Why is he moving though? Job? To be near family?

Let him go. Assuming he isn’t demanding kids travel to see him weekly or other ridiculousness. If you have full custody, just let him go. It’s heartbreaking he’s cutting off the kids, but you can step up and be there for them.

I'm really sorry for your kids, OP.

Mine are the same ages and we are 1.5y into divorce.

The best you can do is dig into being an awesome loving mom, get the kids (and yourself) into therapy, and make sure that everyone is financially covered in the divorce.

IMO he is having an affair despite what you think.

Our neighbor is planning a move to HI (we live in VA) because his wife wants a divorce and he wants a new life. I can't believe he'd leave their daughter but it seems to be what's happening.

Presumably he's miserable with his current life.

Better than being abusive. Give him a good kick and a good send-off.
Mine went crazy too after 10 years. The day after he passed, I was told he may have been SN.

My dad did this when my sister and I were 12 and 13. In his case he was having an affair. But he too didn’t understand the implications of it, still doesn’t. And to make matters worse, he actually loves my sister and I and has tried to be a good dad in our lives. So he’s not a monster. But the inconsistency hasn’t served us well.

Rebuild your life OP. You’re going to have a new community now. I’m sorry this happened to you, and I know you didn’t choose it. You can do it.

I know you are sad for the kids. You can change your dh. Just give them the very best childhood you can.

Where does his job fit in all this?

What does he say is the reason?

Thank your lucky stars. If he doesn’t want to parent it is far better that he opt out and only show up intermittently than that he try to sustain regular custody and neglect the kids.

Nope. That’s strictly on him.

Midlife crisis?

Divorce is imminent and we have 2 young kids (5 & 7). DH plans to move to another state (2 hour flight)/ move away from our kids. He is not having an affair (really). I don’t get it and cannot understand this at all. Does he not understand the implications of this?