Flexible mind is a healthy mind.You don't have it. Get a shrink. That's probably good start to money spending.
Why would you even mention the word 'brands' if you are well to do. It's so unnecessary. Doesn't see that you are there yet.

Anonymous wrote:When you have been diligent savers your entire adult life and income is higher than you expected. We want to spend more of our money and just sort of feel paralyzed by the choices and also path dependence. I realize this is a good problem to have but has anyone else BTDT and succeeded in upping the lifestyle in a meaningful (to them) way? Brands and impressing the neighbors don’t matter to us - we are looking for things that would actually improve our life. Appreciate any ideas.

You REALLY need to ask this? Good grief.

I’d get house cleaning, outsource yard work, pay for plane tickets when I want to fly, not stretch to get a lower fare. I’d also pay for excursions and tours when we are in a new city rather than try to research everything myself. I’d go on short trips with just one child at a time. I’d also add a level to our house and update a few things that are annoying. Every other year I’d pay for a big house for my siblings and their kids to stay in, along with my family.

Opt for private college if your kid is interested and gets in.

Agree on the nicer vacations. My eyes were opened recently when I realized several of my older relatives fly first class overseas, which is easily $10k roundtrip to their native country.


I’d get house cleaning

I take an Uber instead of the bus now if it's raining or I'm carrying heavy things. I'll spend money at the farmer's market which is much more expensive than even Whole Foods. I started getting myself flowers every other week from Trader Joe's.

We’re savers and are strategic with our spending. We’ve reached the point where we can spend the extra buck. For us, that happens a bit more with travel. We’ll spend the extra buck for a nonstop flight at better times. But we don’t fly first class. We also spend the extra buck at nicer hotels but not necessarily luxury hotels..as it’s just not us.

Spending money on more expensive different things might not make us happier, but going the extra buck on things we would spend money on anyway makes things…nicer.

Anonymous wrote:I have upped spending in a few ways. First I am trying to worry less about saving it, so if I hit traffic I’ll take HOV, order whatever I want on the menu when we eat out (including the guacamole at Chipotle!), get a better quality glass of wine, buy the designer shoes over the Amazon ones if they’re more comfortable, and just generally not worry so much. We are also scheduling travel more, choosing in favor of convenience and location, and flying business, and attending family events. We also are moving ahead with home renovations that we put off.

lol I love you, PP. And do you get chips as well?

Would getting a trainer at the gym make it easier / more effective? Get one.
Would shopping with a personal shopper make the experience easier - do it.
Pick one thing on your bucket list or things that you wish you did but at the time did not have the $. Buy tickets to a concert. When you travel - splurge and get a personal tour guide.

When you find your self comparison shopping to save $5 on something - stop.

We kept most things the same but increased travel frequency and the types of lodging we stay in, and added more experiences when we travel.

For me it was remodeling and professionally redecorating my home.

I was raised very frugally, and it's been breaking some of those small frugal habits that have been the biggest change. For example, I live in the city and don't blink at paying for parking like I would when I was broke in my 20s/30s.

I also grocery shopped exclusively from the sales and meal planned based on what was on sale. I still buy mostly sale items, and will buy marked down meat to freeze, but won't pass something up if we want it and it's not on sale.

I think upgrading and modernizing is a good way to be more intentional. We live in an old house with terrible water pressure - but guess what, replacing the showerhead showed maybe you should change it before 25 years. Upgrading TVs, furnitiure, rugs, etc to have. a home that's comfortable can make such a difference. When's the last time you bought new towels, or even bathrugs - just something new and fresh.

Anonymous wrote:When you have been diligent savers your entire adult life and income is higher than you expected. We want to spend more of our money and just sort of feel paralyzed by the choices and also path dependence. I realize this is a good problem to have but has anyone else BTDT and succeeded in upping the lifestyle in a meaningful (to them) way? Brands and impressing the neighbors don’t matter to us - we are looking for things that would actually improve our life. Appreciate any ideas.

Money can buy time and comfort in things I already do/want. That is how I think of it.

I have upped spending in a few ways. First I am trying to worry less about saving it, so if I hit traffic I’ll take HOV, order whatever I want on the menu when we eat out (including the guacamole at Chipotle!), get a better quality glass of wine, buy the designer shoes over the Amazon ones if they’re more comfortable, and just generally not worry so much. We are also scheduling travel more, choosing in favor of convenience and location, and flying business, and attending family events. We also are moving ahead with home renovations that we put off.

I would wait until you need something or are doing something you would have done anyway, and splurge on something better quality. Like furniture, a car, a trip.

When you have been diligent savers your entire adult life and income is higher than you expected. We want to spend more of our money and just sort of feel paralyzed by the choices and also path dependence. I realize this is a good problem to have but has anyone else BTDT and succeeded in upping the lifestyle in a meaningful (to them) way? Brands and impressing the neighbors don’t matter to us - we are looking for things that would actually improve our life. Appreciate any ideas.