Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s a caregiver. Most just sit there and listen to the old person. They might do light cooking (make a hot dog), or help order groceries, but that’s it. It’s unusual for them to do more.
Beware of caregiver stealing or exploiting the elderly for money. It’s very common.
Btdt with both parents over a period of 25 yrs.

Okay this is a waste of money, unless you wanted your parents to have conversation partners.
Yes I know about the stealing. I assume even the bg checked ones still steal?

Probably a pretty good assumption, given how hard it is to find people to do this job.

This is what I don’t understand also! If the job is as easy as described (listen, warm up food, help order groceries) why aren’t more people doing it?

Anonymous wrote:It’s a real thing, called “companion care.”

I think the biggest reason is people don’t get around to hiring until they have ADL needs and then they’re in proper caregiver territory.

When someone has what you’re describing, they were often already there as a housekeeper type role, and/or a nanny who never left.

Right, thank you.
Probably someone like a housekeeper, you are right. Still, there has to be someone managing the finances for example, or making higher level decisions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s a caregiver. Most just sit there and listen to the old person. They might do light cooking (make a hot dog), or help order groceries, but that’s it. It’s unusual for them to do more.
Beware of caregiver stealing or exploiting the elderly for money. It’s very common.
Btdt with both parents over a period of 25 yrs.

Okay this is a waste of money, unless you wanted your parents to have conversation partners.
Yes I know about the stealing. I assume even the bg checked ones still steal?

Probably a pretty good assumption, given how hard it is to find people to do this job.

Anonymous wrote:That’s a caregiver. Most just sit there and listen to the old person. They might do light cooking (make a hot dog), or help order groceries, but that’s it. It’s unusual for them to do more.
Beware of caregiver stealing or exploiting the elderly for money. It’s very common.
Btdt with both parents over a period of 25 yrs.

Okay this is a waste of money, unless you wanted your parents to have conversation partners.
Yes I know about the stealing. I assume even the bg checked ones still steal?

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

It can actually be easier to find good people to do this in those "isolated backwaters."

There is a market for these services, and "companion" is actually one of the fastest growing health care jobs on the job market. You can pay a "companion" less than someone with healthcare training. But bottom line is that people are a lot more willing to pay to have someone watch their kids than they are to have someone watch their parents. People easily work 60k into their budget for little Larla and Larlo, but will hesitate to spend $200 a week on mom or dad.

Anonymous wrote:There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

On the flip side, make sure they don't do anything illegal. Elder abuse and theft and all that.

There are lots of people who do this unless you are in some isolated backwater. Reminding to take medication is one thing but dispensing it is another. Check the laws for your jurisdiction and don’t ask a companion/housekeeper to do anything illegal.

I have no idea how much she was paid, but my uncles hired someone to do this for my grandmother the last few years of her life. She drove, helped with housework (I'm sure my grandma still did quite a bit because that's just the way she was) and just spent time with her. She was the wife of a man who had worked for my extended family as a handyman for a long time and they'd attended social gatherings with the family over the years. My grandma didn't need a health aide, she just needed someone younger to help out. She was pretty able bodied until she had a severe stroke at 92 and went into hospice.

My grandmother's "cleaning lady" became this for her. She was a lovely 60-ish woman in the neighborhood who knew my grandmother through church. She took on more and more responsibility-- first it was just cleaning, then it became cooking a few days a week and leaving leftovers, bringing in grocery delivery, then things like taking my grandmother to Wednesday Mass and Bingo and the beauty salon, and just spending some time chatting and watching TV, keeping an eye on things and raising any concerns, etc. We happily paid her for this at a good rate. Everyone valued her and she was recognized at the funeral as well.

Yes there is some risk to going outside an agency, there was no insurance or anything, but you can have a bad experience with an agency too. If you have a naturally developing support relationship with a trusted person whom your loved one actually likes, it can be the best option.

There are but it will cost you $30/hour at least. $62k a year plus taxes.

It’s a real thing, called “companion care.”

I think the biggest reason is people don’t get around to hiring until they have ADL needs and then they’re in proper caregiver territory.

When someone has what you’re describing, they were often already there as a housekeeper type role, and/or a nanny who never left.

That’s a caregiver. Most just sit there and listen to the old person. They might do light cooking (make a hot dog), or help order groceries, but that’s it. It’s unusual for them to do more.
Beware of caregiver stealing or exploiting the elderly for money. It’s very common.
Btdt with both parents over a period of 25 yrs.

Oh yes and I mean they’d be paid $25-30/hr, not the nurse wages

I don’t mean caregivers who do physical stuff like changing diapers.
I basically mean paid friends or ersatz adult children.
Someone who oversees the cleaners, maybe cooks food, coordinates grocery delivery or grocery shops, takes an elderly person to the dr, reminds to take meds, things like that.
No medical training, no hard physical labor but rather managing the day to day plus companionship.
If I had more money I’d love someone to be a substitute daughter to my father! Someone who has patience to manage his household and listen to what he has to say. Why isn’t there a market for these services? Or am I the only one who needs someone like that?