Anonymous
03/29/2026 17:17
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
I don’t host anymore because of this . So much time and effort and money wasted because people decide to make up some BS the day of.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 16:44
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
Anonymous wrote:Come on we all know this has gotten way worse since Covid. I had plans with a friend to take our kids on a fun outing on a day off school and she canceled on me WHILE I was driving there because “I’m super behind on laundry and the house is a mess so I need to just get this done today.” She’s a SAHM.
Now this is just plain rude. I guess at a party, it's somewhat less impactful as presumably the host will have a good pool of other people there. But a 1:1 event? I'd ditch this person.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 16:43
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A lot of people have more things going on in their lives than you realize/know. Issues with spouse, health / career / financial issues that you may be unaware of, etc.
This is very true.
But also people nowadays are more inclined to flake just because they'd rather stay home and watch Netflix in their sweatpants. There's a guise of doing it to take care of their mental health but sometimes it's just selfish and inconsiderate. And ultimately defeats the purpose since a big part of mental health is positive interactions with other humans.
OP here and I agree. I'm introverted and have some social anxiety. TBH, I wanted to flake on the dinner last night because I was nervous about not knowing many people! But I went, generally enjoyed it, and felt better about myself afterwards for making an effort.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 16:39
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:A lot of people have more things going on in their lives than you realize/know. Issues with spouse, health / career / financial issues that you may be unaware of, etc.
This is very true.
But also people nowadays are more inclined to flake just because they'd rather stay home and watch Netflix in their sweatpants. There's a guise of doing it to take care of their mental health but sometimes it's just selfish and inconsiderate. And ultimately defeats the purpose since a big part of mental health is positive interactions with other humans.
I agree with both of you.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 16:38
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
Once people show they are a flake, believe them. I don’t have time for that.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 16:36
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
Come on we all know this has gotten way worse since Covid. I had plans with a friend to take our kids on a fun outing on a day off school and she canceled on me WHILE I was driving there because “I’m super behind on laundry and the house is a mess so I need to just get this done today.” She’s a SAHM.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 16:23
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
Anonymous wrote:I've noticed this more and more lately. I had a party earlier this year, and of the 30 people who said they could attend, 10 cancelled within the 24 hours leading up to the party. I had so much extra food and frankly it was a bit hurtful 'friends' couldn't bother to show up, as the reasons for cancellation were largely BS. Yesterday, I went to a dinner and was annoyed that 2 of the 3 people I knew attending the event cancelled last minute. When I did show up, the host told me that a third of the attendees had also backed out.
Can we start calling this out as the rude behavior that it is? I've stopped making an effort with many of the people who do this regularly. People talk about how difficult it is to make friends in this area but pull this type of thing.
Life happens, cancellations aren't necessarily flaking, just required. Don't take it personally.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 16:23
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
Anonymous wrote:A lot of people have more things going on in their lives than you realize/know. Issues with spouse, health / career / financial issues that you may be unaware of, etc.
This is me. I am barely hanging on. There are times when I can’t make commitments and rather than killing myself just to not appear rude, I cancel. I’ve come to accept this is my life. It is what it is.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 16:22
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of people who flake last minute don't think it is ok, but just can't help it.
I think that's true. Sometimes it's because they are stretched too thin, and sometimes it's because they have integrated lessons of self-care, and prioritize their own health if they're too tired at the end of the day.
But it ends up being disappointing for the party hosts. I've never flaked out on a party unless there was a really good reason, and then I contact the host to apologize and explain. As a host, I've also dealt with plenty of no-shows.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 16:16
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
People have become very selfish and self-absorbed. Manners have gone out of style.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 15:53
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
I think a lot of people who flake last minute don't think it is ok, but just can't help it.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 15:37
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
Anonymous wrote:A lot of people have more things going on in their lives than you realize/know. Issues with spouse, health / career / financial issues that you may be unaware of, etc.
This is very true.
But also people nowadays are more inclined to flake just because they'd rather stay home and watch Netflix in their sweatpants. There's a guise of doing it to take care of their mental health but sometimes it's just selfish and inconsiderate. And ultimately defeats the purpose since a big part of mental health is positive interactions with other humans.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 15:19
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
A lot of people have more things going on in their lives than you realize/know. Issues with spouse, health / career / financial issues that you may be unaware of, etc.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 15:11
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
For a party, and this has been the case for decades, I assume 1/3 invited will not show up. And those who rsvp yes, maybe a third of those won't actually come.
Best luck I've had is: planning the type of party it is only after I have the rsvps. I once turned a party that was just going to be larger, a mixer into a more intimate dinner party.
Best luck I've had is: planning the type of party it is only after I have the rsvps. I once turned a party that was just going to be larger, a mixer into a more intimate dinner party.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 15:07
Subject: Why do so many people think it's okay to flake last minute?
I've noticed this more and more lately. I had a party earlier this year, and of the 30 people who said they could attend, 10 cancelled within the 24 hours leading up to the party. I had so much extra food and frankly it was a bit hurtful 'friends' couldn't bother to show up, as the reasons for cancellation were largely BS. Yesterday, I went to a dinner and was annoyed that 2 of the 3 people I knew attending the event cancelled last minute. When I did show up, the host told me that a third of the attendees had also backed out.
Can we start calling this out as the rude behavior that it is? I've stopped making an effort with many of the people who do this regularly. People talk about how difficult it is to make friends in this area but pull this type of thing.
Can we start calling this out as the rude behavior that it is? I've stopped making an effort with many of the people who do this regularly. People talk about how difficult it is to make friends in this area but pull this type of thing.