I totally felt like you did and those things are true. Some parts of aging are great. I am now almost 55, however, and I'll tell you what's not great - my body feels like it's breaking down all the time. It's so irritating. I feel like a used car - I need all this maintenance. Like - mammograms and colonoscopies and weird orthopedic stuff going on. I gained 20 pounds with menopause. I used to be able to happily ignore my body most of the time. Now I can't.

So - pros and cons for sure.

I always kinda wanted to be a middle aged woman. I admired their freedom and sense of self. 50’was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now 55 and loving it more and more each day. I’ve got my health issues, but still wouldn’t go back to 25 for all the money in the world.

I do think getting older with resources/wealth is a huge factor.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55.

I will assure you that getting older is not for the faint of heart. I had two crowns placed last week, and the thing they give you to bite to keep your mouth open while they were working on them caused a crack in another causing the need for another crown. Your body literally starts falling apart, even if you have always been very healthy and took great care of yourself. Don’t even get me started on menopause and hellish hot flashes or how our culture hates people over 45…

Does it though? So many people are living longer that there’s an entire industry devoted to quality of life as we age. I’ve never felt hated or invisible in my mid-fifties, but I’m not in the business or film world.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not being old you’re fantasizing about- it’s being retired and an empty nester.

OP here. Yes but I don’t think it actually feels like freedom when the last kid goes to college, they are still coming home for summers, breaks and you are still mostly responsible for them. I don’t think the freedom comes until they are actual self serving adults completely on their own. I’ll be 55 or so when my last heads to college. Won’t be free until i’m guessing at least 60. Then another few years until retirement. So yeah, probably looking at 65 which most people do consider old.

Anonymous wrote:I’m 55.

I will assure you that getting older is not for the faint of heart. I had two crowns placed last week, and the thing they give you to bite to keep your mouth open while they were working on them caused a crack in another causing the need for another crown. Your body literally starts falling apart, even if you have always been very healthy and took great care of yourself. Don’t even get me started on menopause and hellish hot flashes or how our culture hates people over 45…

If your body is falling apart at 55 you need to figure out why because it’s simply not normal.

And as someone with crappy teeth genes, I have had dental stuff happen to my teeth from late teens/early 20s. That’s more genetic than anything having to do with age. I have pretty much resolved that by the time I am in my 60s I will probably have all implants. Really not the best example. some people are just not blessed with good teeth.

Also, you sound like a miserable person.

I think you mean old as in late 50s and that is no way old. Old is when you start noticing pains and get conditions. Mid 60s or after. I was fine until 70 but covid pandemic aged me due to stopping activities and traveling.

It’s not being old you’re fantasizing about- it’s being retired and an empty nester.

I’m 55.

I will assure you that getting older is not for the faint of heart. I had two crowns placed last week, and the thing they give you to bite to keep your mouth open while they were working on them caused a crack in another causing the need for another crown. Your body literally starts falling apart, even if you have always been very healthy and took great care of yourself. Don’t even get me started on menopause and hellish hot flashes or how our culture hates people over 45…

Moving to florida where 60 is a chilly day and every place has a pool (not like here where many places have a year or longer waiting list for one and are always packed when you go) and doing old people things sounds like an actual dream to me. Weirdly I think it’s actually easier to create a social circle when you are old versus younger/middle age. My friend’s mom has more of a social and active life at 75 than I have had ever. It’s kind of inspiring.

Yes I fantasize about some of the things you mentioned too, but it doesn’t include being old. It’s much harder for me at 50 than it was at 40 (physically not emotionally).
I just want all my dependents to be finally gone. I have a young one and an old one.

I have read, “don’t wish time away.” With my kids older I look back at those times with fondness even though I felt I was going insane at times. It makes me not want to rush this stage in my life, either. 43 year old.

Anonymous wrote:Me too! I am 41 - I am counting down. If I could, I would fast forward until I am 61. As long as I am healthy, I don’t care about getting old.

I’m glad i’m not the only one. Op here and i’m 42! And yes I agree all about health and try to make conscious healthy choices every day and stay very active. I just can’t wait for an easier life.

Me too! I am 41 - I am counting down. If I could, I would fast forward until I am 61. As long as I am healthy, I don’t care about getting old.

I feel like every single day is a battle. My kids are older elementary/middle and high school and it’s just always a combination of so many things on any given day.

Lately I have been fantasizing about being old.
1. Not having to cook for anyone but one other person or myself. Or simply not cooking at all because I simply don’t feel like it.
2. Being done working and able to take afternoon naps, going to lunch with other old ladies.
3. Going to county old people classes (think aerobic classes, aquatic classes etc…) with no mean striver women.
4. Done with crazy schedules.
5. Able to go anywhere I want, whenever I want to.
6. Not having to clean up other people’s crap constantly.
7. Moving to a very small place with barely anything to upkeep/clean.