So sorry to hear all that has happened to you OP. 😔
You have endured A LOT & you have my upmost sympathy.

It sounds like you are going through a very severe, depressive state.
Brain fog, unable to sleep or concentrate, etc. plus lack of motivation too are all common symptoms.

I strongly advise you to seek professional help stat.
Hopefully you will be able to get on a good antidepressant which can give you the quality of life you so deserve.
Medication worked wonders for me!
Also along with being on meds - - it could also highly benefit you if you began speaking to a therapist weekly or bi-weekly.

I wish you all the best - remember this: The best is yet to come OP!

Anonymous wrote:CPTSD is your diagnosis.

This and/or depression.

Therapy.

I'd count the divorce and new apartment as a win. But you should also talk to someone. HRT? SSRI? Start with your PCP and go from there.

Anonymous wrote:Menopause

This

Go to Al-Anon, get a sponsor and learn about alcoholism and talk to other people who have dealt with these things such as financial security. Zoom or in person.
See a doctor for meds to help with depression
Get some talk therapy
Make some goals for yourself and work on small bits of them every day.
Take it slow

Menopause

It’s called being alive. Life ain’t a Hallmark movie.

Depression, anxiety. Did you have covid? Maybe long covid brain fog.
You could also look into an alanon meeting online to see if you identify if people share some of what you're feeling.

Basic, run of the mill good ol' depression.

OP, you don’t have one neat “psychological trauma.” You’ve had years of sustained crisis and loss. Anyone would be a mess after that. The symptoms you list like exhaustion, brain fog, zoning out, intrusive thoughts, hypervigilance are textbook chronic stress/trauma and likely depression on top of grief.

This is not something you self-diagnose on DCUM or fix with willpower. You need a trauma-informed therapist and probably a psych eval. Also get a basic medical workup (sleep, labs, etc.) because near-death illness + prolonged stress can wreck your system.

Stop trying to label it and focus on getting real support. You’ve been in survival mode for years. That catches up with people.

You're depressed and anxious. It's a fairly obvious conclusion. Why does DCUM diagnosing you mean anything? You need a professional

CPTSD is your diagnosis.

Depressed and anxious from trauma. Find a good therapist. *This is Not medical advice*

I’m trying to figure out what psychological trauma I have so I can figure out how to treat myself.

Quick recap:

The last 6 years of my life have been particularly painful:

- infidelity by spouse fused in with psychological abuse from his family and himself
- rampant alcoholism from spouse
- financial instability and going bankrupt due to alcoholic spouse who ruined his life and mine
- major medical trauma endured where I almost died twice
- Covid and death of family members due to COVID
- death of parent
- family stranded in a currently war torn country
- divorce and stetting up a new apartment


I lately find I’m struggling with the following:

- motivation and goals. I don’t have any motivation to do anything
- I’m tired all the time. I want to sleep but when I’m in bed I can’t sleep very well
- brain fog. I can’t focus on work or even writing a simple email. I zone out in meetings.
- I sit and zone out a lot. I get up in the morning and sit there staring off into space for 30 mins before moving.
- constant intrusive thoughts. Thinking about worst case scenario hitting as I’m sitting here at lunch
- hyper vigilance