Taught private music for 25 years and there is probably a minimum weekly amount they expect for practice in middle school & high school. For me it’s 45 minutes a day. Sure, life happens and a few weeks might go without practice but if a kid is just not practicing it’s obvious…..I usually ask them to leave as either it’s not their thing or I’m not the person that inspires them. I don’t advise parents to remind kids as it becomes a power struggle then. That’s hard to do when you have a highly talented kid.

My now college age kid with ADHD went full steam into STEM subjects, did TJ in high school and is now getting two engineering degrees in college. Tried a few different musical activities but nothing stuck past a year or two. It was always math, science, and coding from a very young age. Let the kid pick.

Anonymous wrote:What extracurricular activities work better for kids with ADHD? DD takes lessons for a musical instrument and started a sport. Getting her to practice the instrument creates endless arguments. However, she refuses to quit the music lessons. The sport requires no practice so it's easy to get her to class on time. Speaking of sports, would team sports or individual sports be a better fit for someone with inattentive ADHD?

It's whatever they want to do. Some things my ADHD kid enjoyed over the years:
drums
tae kwon do
building sets for theater
climbing
hiking/camping

If she likes the music lessons but doesn't want to practice, so what?

My kid loved younglife but I wish I would have steered her away from it and pushed her to be involved in our church more instead. YL was on Monday’s and I found it to be a huge distraction and she was always exhausted the day after. But it was her only school social outlet since many of her friends were at our neighborhood public school and she played sports with them outside school

This is controversial but it worked for us. My kid loved the classes at school, but not the practice. We encouraged but did not force the practice. Sometimes it happened and sometimes it didn’t.

When they got to middle school and started playing every day in class they got better and asked for private lessons. We obliged and yes continued them even when practice was sporadic. They have now played the instrument years and loves it. Has been in audition level honors ensembles and talks about maybe playing in college. Their music is a huge part of their life.

Music is SO good for kid’s brains, it seems silly to force them to quit lessons if they don’t play at home. The purpose of these activities is to learn something, but also to enjoy it! I say lay off on the practice requirements and let them enjoy their instrument—remind them regularly that practice will help them improve but don’t lose your mind if they don’t do it.

Again it’s not a popular opinion, but it worked for us and it might work for you.

Anonymous wrote:What extracurricular activities work better for kids with ADHD? DD takes lessons for a musical instrument and started a sport. Getting her to practice the instrument creates endless arguments. However, she refuses to quit the music lessons. The sport requires no practice so it's easy to get her to class on time. Speaking of sports, would team sports or individual sports be a better fit for someone with inattentive ADHD?

Why does she get to refuse to quit something when you pay for it and probably provide transportation?

With my kids, they understood that part of committing to an activity when I signed them up was committing to the practices that accompanied the activity. I also told my kids that the more they were willing to commit to an activity, the more I was willing to support them. It sounds like you’re investing more to this activity than she is, so YOU should quit. Tell her that lessons will stop until she decides she has the time and motivation to practice, and that after she has resumed practicing you’ll consider resuming the lessons.

Look at Michael Phelps — swimming was obviously great for him but a lot of kids with adhd would be super bored and refuse to do it. Mike really only likes group activities.

My DD found film making and stayed with it from 5th grade through HS and college. Also loved dance until she had to quit due to injury. Then she did more swimming. Those were her only EC or rec passions. It was focused and rewarding for her.

I will echo what was said earlier - if they don't like it, it won't go well. And that can be super frustrating (just try, just one more time, etc.) but I've had no luck with forcing it.

He very much is who he is.

Definitely depends on the kid! Neither of mine loves team ball sports. My combined type boy loves running, swimming, robotics (he can lock in and concentrate). My inattentive girl (like PO’s child above) likes her instrument and the routine of practicing, art, and swimming. Both kids like outdoor activities like camping and hiking.

Op is right-the one they want to do. Adhd kids can be incredibly dedicated to hobbies and ECs but trying to encourage ones they haven’t shown a spark for is going to be an uphill battle.

The one they love. That's it, really. If they don't love it, they won't do it. Let them try things until they figure it out. For team sports, hockey was a good fit because it's so fast-paced and exciting. Try also chess, sailing, skiing, gymnastics, swimming, martial arts and figure skating.

My kid does a team sport but she needs a busy job. Like a midfielder at soccer, not right field in softball.

Whatever they love/can hyperfocus on will work best. Help them find peers with the same interests.

Depends a lot on the kid. Some love swimming for the sensory input; others find the pool too loud/chaotic.

My inattentive ADHDer likes music (practice is part of the routine), indoor rock climbing, and scouts (camping, hiking and boating especially).

What extracurricular activities work better for kids with ADHD? DD takes lessons for a musical instrument and started a sport. Getting her to practice the instrument creates endless arguments. However, she refuses to quit the music lessons. The sport requires no practice so it's easy to get her to class on time. Speaking of sports, would team sports or individual sports be a better fit for someone with inattentive ADHD?