My dad waited a year after my mom died to ask me and my brother how we felt about him dating. I gave him a safe sex talk and my blessing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my dad after my mom died (wife of almost 40 years) - 6 weeks. I am not saying it’s advisable.

This. My best friend in middle school lost her mom to cancer, and dad started dating almost immediately. It really, really, REALLY messed her up.

If the guy has kids, stay far away. Even if they're grown, they are going to hate you.

This happened to me, except I was in high school. It DID really mess me up to learn this about men so early. A therapist told me that it is really common for men to remarry quickly after being widowed, and since seeing my dad do it I have seen and heard so many other examples of men doing this that I can confirm the pattern.

OP, as someone else noted on the thread, his kids will hate you. Remember that YOUR happily-ever-after in this, if you end up in a relationship with him, happens only because their mom died.

If he has kids, any woman who chooses to date him so soon after their mom died is a heartless, selfish person. Yes, people will now say it is HIS actions that are selfish, and that's true, but do you need to pile on and wreck some kids' lives just to get your happily-ever-after?

On the plus side for aspiring wicked stepmothers, you had better believe the kids are no longer his priority after his wife dies and he finds a new woman, because at that point she (and any kids she has) become the priority. He will prioritize the woman he is sleeping with, and while he may have some affection for his kids, he will never, ever choose them over having a woman in his bed. Thus is the way of life, I'm afraid.

Different poster?

What should I say in the text to him? I have been divorced since 2022. Our kids were all at the same school as well. All in college now. We did not run in the same circle while our kids were in school.

Often before she dies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For my dad after my mom died (wife of almost 40 years) - 6 weeks. I am not saying it’s advisable.

This. My best friend in middle school lost her mom to cancer, and dad started dating almost immediately. It really, really, REALLY messed her up.

If the guy has kids, stay far away. Even if they're grown, they are going to hate you.

Eeew. Couldn’t even keep his pants zipped for a respectable amount of time, eh?

I understand that I am bumping this thread, but what a complete ridiculous thread title. How long after some unnamed someone loses their spouse do unidentified men typically start dating? Who knows?

Anonymous wrote:I have a mutual friend who told me that their male friend lost his wife over the summer and they think we would be a good match? I feel like it’s way too soon for him. It hasn’t even been a year that his wife has been gone? Thoughts? I mean, I’m happy to do dinner or catch a movie or go sightseeing if he just needs a companion, but I feel like it’s way too early for him to start dating.

Meh. Let her get cold first. You don’t want to be around when the anniversary of her death comes up this summer. How about meet him sometime in the fall?

Anonymous wrote:For my dad after my mom died (wife of almost 40 years) - 6 weeks. I am not saying it’s advisable.

Serious question, is that because he can’t cook?

Anonymous wrote:For my dad after my mom died (wife of almost 40 years) - 6 weeks. I am not saying it’s advisable.

This. My best friend in middle school lost her mom to cancer, and dad started dating almost immediately. It really, really, REALLY messed her up.

If the guy has kids, stay far away. Even if they're grown, they are going to hate you.

Was it a long illness or an unexpected death?

They get scooped up quickly, OP. Why not try one date?

For my dad after my mom died (wife of almost 40 years) - 6 weeks. I am not saying it’s advisable.

He is 54

I have a mutual friend who told me that their male friend lost his wife over the summer and they think we would be a good match? I feel like it’s way too soon for him. It hasn’t even been a year that his wife has been gone? Thoughts? I mean, I’m happy to do dinner or catch a movie or go sightseeing if he just needs a companion, but I feel like it’s way too early for him to start dating.