Anonymous
02/17/2026 10:14
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
Have you assessed which schools are most likely to offer your kid access to whoever is most needed to write letters of recommendation for med school?
I think it's very important at this step to optimize for that further goal. Not just financially. Schools differ a lot in how they provide letters of recommendation. Also your kid will likely need to excel in science, do research, and do a lot of health care volunteering. Your revised plan needs to factor in these points.
It may be better to shine at a lower tier school than get lost in a crowd at a higher ranked school. I have a friend who is a wealth planner whose son is interested in dental school. He is going to a small local Catholic university. The mom feels this will best optimize his chances of being prepared and admitted.
I think it's very important at this step to optimize for that further goal. Not just financially. Schools differ a lot in how they provide letters of recommendation. Also your kid will likely need to excel in science, do research, and do a lot of health care volunteering. Your revised plan needs to factor in these points.
It may be better to shine at a lower tier school than get lost in a crowd at a higher ranked school. I have a friend who is a wealth planner whose son is interested in dental school. He is going to a small local Catholic university. The mom feels this will best optimize his chances of being prepared and admitted.
Anonymous
02/17/2026 10:07
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
child rejected but came from a MCPS school that is UMD predominant. And we recognized with the rejection, it's probably too bigAnonymous wrote:UMD is probably best choice. In state pricing and flag ship
Anonymous
02/17/2026 10:04
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
UMD is probably best choice. In state pricing and flag ship
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:59
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.
An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!
Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.
Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.
OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .
DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.
Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."
OP here. Thank you for your story! For those who said we didn't prepare perfectly and I set my child up for disappointment, maybe. But we thought their solid gpa (3.8 unweighted, 4.8 weighted, multiple 5s on AP exams, slightly above average SAT), plus multiple meaningful awards and varsity sports would be enough. And it wasn't. Lesson learned. And we are still learning as this process continues. At this point we've determined around 40k per year is around our max, with medical school down the road. This is actually a good lesson, although disappointing, in making informed decisions about finances. We don't hear enough about kids who do NOT go to their dream schools because of money but end up loving where they go.
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:47
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
Also, don't assume that your child will be going to school "with peers who didn't grind like them and sacrifice time." (Which....I have other thoughts about, but....) Some of those peers will be students in the same boat, lacking the funds/FA to go to theirbtop choices. Hopefully they won't be too disappointed to be at school with your kid.
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:44
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
Anonymous wrote:We were very clear about budget upfront and DD and DS opted not to apply to schools that were unlikely to meet our budget ($40k/yr). That meant their only reaches were in-state public Us.
We did tell them they were welcome to apply wherever she wanted but in the end it had to be in budget, we're now doing loans.
One went to VT (not engineering, major had an 80% acceptance rate), had a great experience, just graduated and has a great job
DD went to a safety LAC and also doing well. Work is challenging, lots of good experiences in her major, has made good friends.
If your DD isn't excited about her options, she could still put in apps to schools that have later deadlines and are generous with merit aid. Or, if she'd wanted UMD, go to CC and transfer
That should read "we're NOT doing loans"
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:43
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
We were very clear about budget upfront and DD and DS opted not to apply to schools that were unlikely to meet our budget ($40k/yr). That meant their only reaches were in-state public Us.
We did tell them they were welcome to apply wherever she wanted but in the end it had to be in budget, we're now doing loans.
One went to VT (not engineering, major had an 80% acceptance rate), had a great experience, just graduated and has a great job
DD went to a safety LAC and also doing well. Work is challenging, lots of good experiences in her major, has made good friends.
If your DD isn't excited about her options, she could still put in apps to schools that have later deadlines and are generous with merit aid. Or, if she'd wanted UMD, go to CC and transfer
We did tell them they were welcome to apply wherever she wanted but in the end it had to be in budget, we're now doing loans.
One went to VT (not engineering, major had an 80% acceptance rate), had a great experience, just graduated and has a great job
DD went to a safety LAC and also doing well. Work is challenging, lots of good experiences in her major, has made good friends.
If your DD isn't excited about her options, she could still put in apps to schools that have later deadlines and are generous with merit aid. Or, if she'd wanted UMD, go to CC and transfer
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:38
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.
An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!
Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.
Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.
OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .
DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.
Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:36
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
Anonymous wrote:This has been hard. My child has gotten into their safeties (Towson/Salisbury) which they are NOT enthusiastic about. They have also gotten into some of their reach/target schools. Unfortunately, those schools so far are around 60k per year with merit (child has 4.8 gpa). Financial aid is minimal. I don't have an amazing salary, but child has substantial college savings because of extenuating circumstances (not enough to cover 240k though). They go to a decent high school in Montgomery County, and it is sad for them to see their classmates commit to schools they cannot commit to. How do you help your child handle going to a safety so they can graduate college without debt? My child is so disappointed to have to go to school with peers who didn't grind like them and sacrifice time. But they/we just aren't willing or able to pay 50k PLUS per year. They want to go to med school after college as well, so the price of undergrad really matters. Please tell me your stories of going to a safety bc of money and kid thriving.
Did your child not apply to state school? In-state honors programs?
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:34
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
Use the savings.
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:34
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
Does the student have a test score?
Did you find Net Price Calculators to be accurate for need-based aid?
Did you find Net Price Calculators to be accurate for need-based aid?
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:33
Subject: Re:college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
I have not done this personally (yet) but I know of people that do the first two years at a solid community college that has a pathway to the state flagship. I think this exists for UMD, UVA and the U of California system ? Maybe there are other states that have this? I am sorry, OP that this is so difficult. The whole process seems pretty miserable and I am dreading going through it with my HS kids. Good luck!
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:25
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.
An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!
An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:19
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
I’m confused. You have college savings? In short there is no magic answer. Some of those families are taking on debt. And for some maybe the exposure to larger schools will pay off. It’s not all or nothing: there are manageable levels of debt, like taking a calculated risk. But if you have savings and are dead set against any debt then there’s your answer.
Anonymous
02/17/2026 09:16
Subject: college admissions process so far, financial aid disappointment
This has been hard. My child has gotten into their safeties (Towson/Salisbury) which they are NOT enthusiastic about. They have also gotten into some of their reach/target schools. Unfortunately, those schools so far are around 60k per year with merit (child has 4.8 gpa). Financial aid is minimal. I don't have an amazing salary, but child has substantial college savings because of extenuating circumstances (not enough to cover 240k though). They go to a decent high school in Montgomery County, and it is sad for them to see their classmates commit to schools they cannot commit to. How do you help your child handle going to a safety so they can graduate college without debt? My child is so disappointed to have to go to school with peers who didn't grind like them and sacrifice time. But they/we just aren't willing or able to pay 50k PLUS per year. They want to go to med school after college as well, so the price of undergrad really matters. Please tell me your stories of going to a safety bc of money and kid thriving.