Anonymous wrote:I wonder if you may have more success with graduated acclimation in terms of hours spent at the school.
For example, I always did the following with my kids when they started daycare or started a new daycare
-First week 2 hours (last day 3 hours)
-Second week 4 hours (first day 3 hours by end of week 5)
Third week, 6 (same structure as previous week)
Fourth, 8 (" ")
As long as they didnt struggle we kept increasing time spent. If there were 2 days in a row that were rough we kept the timing the same for a few more days. This way they knew we would come back. They gradually adjusted to the classroom schedule. They got the decompression time after being picked up and could co-regulate with mom. They got to know the teachers a little bit better. Daycare is stimulating and there was less overstimulation at the end of the day.
I nurse past 1 year and cosleep and babywear and also use daycare. Try to do child-led etc.
THIS, THIS, THIS! As a former early childhood program director, this is what we strongly suggested for all children when they started in our 2s and 3s rooms (if they were new to school at 3 years old - if they were just moving up from the 2s room, we didn't suggest this unless a child needed it) All of our children started the last week of August in their new rooms - it was a full day full year program, but we did one moveup, vs constant transitions as children had a birthday. That way all children were together, in the same classroom, for one year.
It wasn't in your area or I'd suggest the program. I think you could certainly stay for an hour the first day and then leave together, then the 2nd day do 2 hours - and I'd suggest starting at the time you normally would. So will you drop off at 8:15am every day? Then start at 8:15 from day one. Always dropping off at 9am, do that from the start. And, yes, your child will miss outdoor time if you do a 2 hour 8-10 but when you get there, you can go together to the playground for a bit, then leave from there... and gradually extend your time.
I personally (and professionally) believe that "ripping the bandaid off" and leaving a child for 8-10 hours that first week isn't helpful and is very stressful. If you were BARELY holding it together at pickup why would you want to go back to that place the next day? Leave the child wanting more.... that's the better way. Frankly, our first few days of work is hard in a new place - we need to remember which elevator to use to go to the top floor conference room, how to use the phone system, the names of all those new colleagues.... and WE can stop and ask "which elevator should I use to go to the mailroom?" if we forget.
A child, even the most verbal of 3 year olds, is thrust into a group with a total of 15-20 other children all their age, with 2 or 3 adults they don't know, and they are supposed to just TRUST everyone from day 1? Um, no. Gradual time spent means a child starts to get to know the classroom routine, the teachers, the other children, and is mostly happy to return the next day. When we did this for 2 weeks, we found most children acclimate faster and build bonds sooner with their teachers and other children. And you want your child to nap at a school, but doing it when they are ready will mean they might sleep better when they do stay for nap.
(stepping off soap box now)