Anonymous wrote:I would leave him alone for now. Ignore the tantrum.

Then later make him clean it up and replace any broken items. Calmly.

He is probably going through withdrawal so I would be kind but firm. And keep the phone longer than planned (or only give it a super locked down).

BTDT and agree this is very much like going through withdrawal. He needs time to detox without his phone. Maybe a lot of time.

Anonymous wrote:Wwyd? He is 15… he was sent to his room (grounded till lunch time) due to disrespectful behavior (cursing at both parents, yelling)… now, he is throwing things at his room to the floor…

Is this the first time he has engaged in either of these behaviors (the cursing/yelling and the throwing)?

If he wants to have a tantrum like a toddler, treat him like one.

Anonymous wrote:He should lose access to those things.

Take the door of his room off its hinges if he slams it.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the tantrum. Add cleaning up his room and belongings to the condition of getting his phone back.

No discussion.

This, but no phone back. He’s clearly not mature enough to have it.

Until lunch? Come on.

But this is what you said, so you have to live with it. Next time, it’s all day. And then 3 days. There’s no arguing or one more chance or “I told you not to do that.” The phone will simply be gone.

He cleans everything up. Apologizes. Then he can have phone back. No discussion.

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the tantrum. Add cleaning up his room and belongings to the condition of getting his phone back.

No discussion.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I’d give up because what do you mean he was cussing at you, so he got grounded TIL LUNCH, and he can’t even handle what is basically time out for like 2 hours without losing his mind. Not even sure what you do with a kid like this.

+1

Anonymous wrote:He should lose access to those things.

Take the door of his room off its hinges if he slams it.

+1000 He sounds very spoiled. Now unspoil him. Take the things away until he behaves.

Anonymous wrote:Wwyd? He is 15… he was sent to his room (grounded till lunch time) due to disrespectful behavior (cursing at both parents, yelling)… now, he is throwing things at his room to the floor…

I would need more context to have an answer.

My first question is whether the throwing things is destructive, and if so whose property is it destructive to. Throwing things that damage walls, or that create damage (like something made of glass), or that don't belong to him (like the furniture) is different than slamming his own belongings to the floor, so I'd respond differently.

The other thing is that clearly there is a significant amount of disregulation here, and this kid needs professional help. For many kids with this level of disregulation, the fact that he accepted the consequence and went to his room, rather than running out of the house, and that he turned his aggressive impulses towards objects, rather than people, is a huge win. Maybe that's your situation, maybe it isn't, but knowing whether you think there's potential for behavior that is far less safe than throwing things to the floor in the safety of his room, would make a difference in my response.

Having said all of that, my first advice is to wait until he is totally regulated to deal with this. Increasing the level of disregulation by engaging now is definitely a mistake.

Ignore the tantrum. Add cleaning up his room and belongings to the condition of getting his phone back.

No discussion.

He should lose access to those things.

Take the door of his room off its hinges if he slams it.

I’d give up because what do you mean he was cussing at you, so he got grounded TIL LUNCH, and he can’t even handle what is basically time out for like 2 hours without losing his mind. Not even sure what you do with a kid like this.

I would leave him alone for now. Ignore the tantrum.

Then later make him clean it up and replace any broken items. Calmly.

He is probably going through withdrawal so I would be kind but firm. And keep the phone longer than planned (or only give it a super locked down).

Wwyd? He is 15… he was sent to his room (grounded till lunch time) due to disrespectful behavior (cursing at both parents, yelling)… now, he is throwing things at his room to the floor…