My DC felt like this too. Strongly agree with poster who suggested looking into whether he could volunteer/mentor younger kids in the activity he will age out of. This helped my DC, ending up resulting in a much needed self-esteem boost. So did success with a (minor) part time job. Had to approach the job slowly so it didn't feel like too much of a stretch and they could experience success with it, but it ended up being the turning point for how they felt about themselves when school, lack of friends, etc. had them feeling really low.

Good luck!!

I was not diagnosed with any development disorder, but I struggled from my early to late teens. School and life became harder to deal with, and I developed some behaviour problems. My friends seemed to manage ok, so I acted like everything was ok, yet internally it was chaos. My parents seemed oblivious to what was going on, but there must have been signs, especially one of them.

I think this is a fairly common problem at that age, and he will grow out of it with support. Knowing there was others struggling with the same thing would have made a difference for me and support from my parents. Neither seemed to be available so some of my behaviour problems lasted longer than they probably should have.

Support him the best you can and encourage him to talk things out.

my son, 16, is like this. Emotionally he is still quite young, even though he seems oddly old/cynical in casual conversation because he is obssessed with (bad) news and, more broadly, has a sponge like knowledge of facts (but not an ability to put them to good use!).

He has only one friend, because he struggles socially. he used to do pretty well at school but now has gotten terrible grades, mostly through not turning things in, and doesn't seem to care. the teenage part comes out when we try to help him get more organize--his homework, his disgustingly messy/dirty room, etc.

He still likes things that young kids like, even eats like a 12 year old, hates getting his hair cut, dresses in sponge bob crocs and stuff. Definitely does not help his social life.

I think part of it is real distress about the world he is growing up into==with AI, politics, economy, he feels very much like he will never have a good job, relationship, buy a house, etc. And part of it is his emotional/LD profile--a smart kid who is socially rejected, and does poorly and his self esteem is kind of in the toilet.

We've also failed to find any psychologist who helps him. He doesn't believe in it. doesn't open up and basically uses the time to tell them what he thinks they want to hear. After years of therapy, and then stopping, we have seen no difference in his emotional regulation.

Does not help that younger sibling gets straight A+s and has amazing executive function, friends, etc.

My daughter (ADHD, possible ASD) is 17 and still very much like this.

Can you help him think about ways to stay involved in his beloved activity even after he turns 18? For example, my kid made the switch from being a participant to being a volunteer and mentor, and she's happier than she ever expected.

I'm an executive function coach and I see this a lot with teen boys I coach.

An acuitance had a 15 year old who experienced this but it doesn’t become a big problem until it starts effecting their life tremendously. This girl was 15, very high IQ, and didn’t have any independence or teen interests, didn’t have smart phone, only played with toys and with younger kids outside, had to go aftercare because she didn’t like staying home alone, asked her dad to pick her up, sucked her thumb, and a whole lotta other stuff. She did grow out of it all eventually by the time college rolled around though. But as long is it isn’t effecting his life like this I wouldn’t be worried and would just focus on helping him with his anxiety for now.

I think this is a totally normal and appropriate feeling even if you are experiencing the good parts of the next stage.

When I got engaged, I mourned my single girl life even though I was excited about being married. I’m still mourning it 15 years later!

When our babies grow into toddlers and preschoolers and tweens, we mourn the stage we’re leaving even though we’re so proud of them.

So imo you don’t need to worry about the feeling or try to argue it away, you just need to support him in coping with it.

Extrene distress last night. Wants to be 8 again. School is getting harder and he know when he turns 18, he ages out of some beloved activities.

He doesn't experience the good parts of getting older - freedom and independence with friends because he has no friends.All he feels is loss of childhood and harder workload/more responsibilities.

Asd and adhd.

Has anyone dealt with this? Any advice?