I think part of the problem is differing definitions of “sick.”

I have three kids ages six and under. There is literally never a day from October to March that at least one of them doesn’t have a cough or a runny nose. To me, a cough and/or a runny nose do not even register. That is not sick. Go to school, play with friends, do your thing. I would never think to mention it. Coughs often linger for WEEKS.

That being said - fever? Not feeling well/low energy? Needing daytime cold medicine? That kid needs to be home for a few days until feeling better. I would never send a kid with a fever, or who was low energy or not feeling well, or who was taking cold medicine, to someone’s house to play. Nor would I have someone over. And I think doing so is a dick move.

But I assume there exist parents who are salty about my kids coughs and drippy noses.

I know a lot of parents have given up and taken the “It’s just a cold” attitude and “My family can’t isolate for all of the days my kid is contagious.” I know I can’t change you. But if you knowingly expose me to a bug instead of just doing the courtesy of letting me know that your child is sick, I’m going to control the piece I can control, and I won’t be spending time with you any longer.

No one enjoys being sick. If you’re unhappy about being congested and isolating at home, why are you spreading it to others?

FWIW, my immune system is great. I get sick far less often than the average person. In fact, autoimmune issues are more common in my family origin and extended family than immune deficits. Still, I can’t stand getting a cold, I work with someone undergoing chemo, and I have an in-law with non-smoker’s COPD. Please give me the information I need to make informed decisions for myself and my family.

Anonymous wrote:Can I send them to school mommy? What's your protocol? Can you put it in writing? You know that people are contagious for weeks with a cold. Maybe you should home school and stay in a bubble?

People aren't contagious for weeks with a cold and the lingering cough isn't contagious. When you start to feel better after 4-5 days, you're very unlikely to spread it.

Anonymous wrote:Stop sending your immunocompromised kid out

All of this

Stop sending your immunocompromised kid out

I don't know anyone who is sick right now. December and January were rough, but then everyone seems fine now?

This is OP. I think it’s common courtesy. I’m not your kids babysitter and don’t send your kids to my house with a ton of medicine without even talking to me about it. This has happened.

And yes, my kid got a fever from the kid that appeared to have a “cold” and invited them over. I’m not asking anyone including myself to live in a bubble, I’m just asking when your kid is clearly sick and you know it, stop using school and playdates as your personal daycare.

It is clear from OP's post that she is talking to parents who know their kid is sick.

I agree. We need to start calling these parents out on their BS. It's so rude and selfish!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can I send them to school mommy? What's your protocol? Can you put it in writing? You know that people are contagious for weeks with a cold. Maybe you should home school and stay in a bubble?

Not the OP, but sure I can give you a protocol. People are most contagious in the first 1-3 days. If your kid has a fever keep them home until they are fever free for 24 hours. Doesn't your school suggest this? Most schools do. And no, don't send them to people's houses for a play date or birthday party if they are feeling sick. Common sense.

Most colds don't bring on a fever. Yes, that is protocol but OP is not talking about fever, just the common cold.

Anonymous wrote:Can I send them to school mommy? What's your protocol? Can you put it in writing? You know that people are contagious for weeks with a cold. Maybe you should home school and stay in a bubble?

Not the OP, but sure I can give you a protocol. People are most contagious in the first 1-3 days. If your kid has a fever keep them home until they are fever free for 24 hours. Doesn't your school suggest this? Most schools do. And no, don't send them to people's houses for a play date or birthday party if they are feeling sick. Common sense.

Anonymous wrote:That’s it. Please stop. In the past few weeks, my kid has brought home several colds that have wreaked havoc in our house. It’s nice to invite my kid over to your house but inform us if they are sick so we can make our own decision if we want to come over. Of course sometimes you don’t know and can’t avoid it. Or you have a kid with allergies so it’s hard to know when they are really sick. I get it. If I invite your kid over and they are on over the counter meds for their current illness, let me know.

Stfu Karen

Can I send them to school mommy? What's your protocol? Can you put it in writing? You know that people are contagious for weeks with a cold. Maybe you should home school and stay in a bubble?

Anonymous wrote:That’s it. Please stop. In the past few weeks, my kid has brought home several colds that have wreaked havoc in our house. It’s nice to invite my kid over to your house but inform us if they are sick so we can make our own decision if we want to come over. Of course sometimes you don’t know and can’t avoid it. Or you have a kid with allergies so it’s hard to know when they are really sick. I get it. If I invite your kid over and they are on over the counter meds for their current illness, let me know.

It is wild to me when people invite you over and they are sick, or come over sick and don’t tell you beforehand. This winter an acquaintance came to the area and stayed at a hotel. Came to our house with a “bad cold” that just started, got everyone in my house sick over Christmas break, and ruined our break. If person had told me beforehand they were sick, I would have said now is not a good time to come over (right before the holidays!) or would have met them outside for a coffee and a walk myself.

That’s it. Please stop. In the past few weeks, my kid has brought home several colds that have wreaked havoc in our house. It’s nice to invite my kid over to your house but inform us if they are sick so we can make our own decision if we want to come over. Of course sometimes you don’t know and can’t avoid it. Or you have a kid with allergies so it’s hard to know when they are really sick. I get it. If I invite your kid over and they are on over the counter meds for their current illness, let me know.