Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why are you stuck there? Is relocating truly not possible?

OP - Because we are divorced and relocation would involve cooperation of both parties.

I don’t get it. Why can’t you move back? Did you follow him for custody purposes?

OP - I mean our kids are here so not sure why I would move back to the old state and leave them.

Same boat as you OP. Hoping warmer weather helps things but I’m in such a funk for past few years I’m losing hope.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why are you stuck there? Is relocating truly not possible?

OP - Because we are divorced and relocation would involve cooperation of both parties.

I don’t get it. Why can’t you move back? Did you follow him for custody purposes?

Anonymous wrote:OP why are you stuck there? Is relocating truly not possible?

OP - Because we are divorced and relocation would involve cooperation of both parties.

There are dozens of things that you can do to address depression. Make a list and challenge yourself to add 1 per week.

Nutrition; probiotics; gut biome.

Surround yourself with warm, kind people - yoga or meditation teachers, massage therapists, religious leaders, etc.

Music is great - listen to more music, join a choir, go to a sound bath, attend a concert, find a drumming circle.

Connect with others at meetup groups and clubs, either related to your hobbies, interests or making new friends.

Sleep hygiene.

Cut off ALL social media. Cold-turkey. Delete it all.

Social is toxic and it makes you miserable.

Drink caffeine

OP why are you stuck there? Is relocating truly not possible?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it depression, or the sad reality of humanity? Most people suck. Most people are only out for themselves. It’s a hard reality. You are jaded, your heart, calloused. Mine, too. The thing is, you have to decide what to do with this new-found discernment. You can let it corrupt you, or you can use it as a tool. Chin up, OP. It does get better.

OP - It is human nature but I was protected it for awhile I guess. I saw the ugly side up close and personal.

What do you mean “use it as a tool”? I could use some wisdom from those who faced this and bounced back. I have decided to keep my inner circle very small. I have always tried to be a good, honest person so it’s particularly jarring.

I went through a similar betrayal and it changed my whole option of people. I saw it turning me into a cold, jaded person, and I didn’t like that version of myself. I could’ve let the betrayal turn me bitter. I felt it happening. But instead of hardening, I chose discernment.So instead of shutting down, I decided to use discernment. I didn’t close myself off, I just started paying attention. I watched patterns. I listened to how people talked about others. I noticed who showed up consistently. I learned to trust actions more than words.

OP - Thank you PP. Yes I don’t want to become bitter. It’s hard because my ex did a smear campaign and whether people believed it or not, they proceeded in their own interests and I have felt pretty blindsided by family and friends. It makes me not want to trust anyone again, other than those who stayed by me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it depression, or the sad reality of humanity? Most people suck. Most people are only out for themselves. It’s a hard reality. You are jaded, your heart, calloused. Mine, too. The thing is, you have to decide what to do with this new-found discernment. You can let it corrupt you, or you can use it as a tool. Chin up, OP. It does get better.

OP - It is human nature but I was protected it for awhile I guess. I saw the ugly side up close and personal.

What do you mean “use it as a tool”? I could use some wisdom from those who faced this and bounced back. I have decided to keep my inner circle very small. I have always tried to be a good, honest person so it’s particularly jarring.

I went through a similar betrayal and it changed my whole option of people. I saw it turning me into a cold, jaded person, and I didn’t like that version of myself. I could’ve let the betrayal turn me bitter. I felt it happening. But instead of hardening, I chose discernment.So instead of shutting down, I decided to use discernment. I didn’t close myself off, I just started paying attention. I watched patterns. I listened to how people talked about others. I noticed who showed up consistently. I learned to trust actions more than words.

I don’t think your current view of the world is particularly accurate. People come in all stripes.

The key thing is to recognize that depression is a set of physical symptoms, one of which is negative thinking. Your brain is inflamed, so to speak, and it’s making you experience hopelessness and negativity. Fix the physical symptoms by taking good care of yourself, eating well, getting lots of exercise, engaging in meditation, doing low key enjoyable hobbies, and considering medication.

Medication really helps

Anonymous wrote:Is it depression, or the sad reality of humanity? Most people suck. Most people are only out for themselves. It’s a hard reality. You are jaded, your heart, calloused. Mine, too. The thing is, you have to decide what to do with this new-found discernment. You can let it corrupt you, or you can use it as a tool. Chin up, OP. It does get better.

OP - It is human nature but I was protected it for awhile I guess. I saw the ugly side up close and personal.

What do you mean “use it as a tool”? I could use some wisdom from those who faced this and bounced back. I have decided to keep my inner circle very small. I have always tried to be a good, honest person so it’s particularly jarring.

Is it depression, or the sad reality of humanity? Most people suck. Most people are only out for themselves. It’s a hard reality. You are jaded, your heart, calloused. Mine, too. The thing is, you have to decide what to do with this new-found discernment. You can let it corrupt you, or you can use it as a tool. Chin up, OP. It does get better.

I am in therapy. I went through divorce a few years ago and became really disheartened by the system, family, friends, etc. I used to see the world through rose-colored glasses and now I see that people look out for their own interests and if you don’t serve some purpose for them, you’re not worth anything to them and will quickly be discarded.

I moved to a different state for my ex and now am stuck here. I tried to make a bunch of friends but haven’t had much luck because the people I met are either too busy or very shallow, cliquey women.

I have never struggled this much. How have you gotten out of this feeling?