Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 21:50     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
My kid has dyslexia and ADHD. She’s thriving at a K-8 and has since K.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 20:52     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
Have a kid at Big 3 and let them know at time of application the ADHD diagnosis, but have not gotten accommodations - well controlled with medication and Executive function training. His teachers are unaware. Had a friend whose kid was counseled out. But the axe did not fall until too late for application process. Part of the reason did not iremind the school once he was admitted. Was really disappointed how my kids school handled the process. They were able to find a school that ultimately was a better fit, but was disappointing to hear how it was handled and the timing made it very stressful.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 20:42     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
Our Catholic school has been great about my son’s ADHD diagnosis. They recommended we get it, so they could give us certain accommodations, and then followed through on giving them to us. I would say that he has very mild inattentive ADHD, and does not have many, if any, behavior issues. It’s been good to have the diagnosis to help him follow instructions, understand why he gets frustrated and just help him with staying on task and getting his work done.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 19:45     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:Our child is in lower school at a big 3/5 school, was recently diagnosed with ADHD and has started treatment. They are still doing well academically though there were a number of teacher comments about inattentive behavior.

We have not yet told the school or asked for any accommodation like sitting in the front row. I worry that telling the school would lead to being counseled out or perhaps getting singled out more for misbehavior than they otherwise would have.

If you were in a similar situation where the child was doing ok but with a few issues- did you tell the school? Are you glad you did? Do schools encourage adhd kids to leave?


The fact that you are paying $50K+ for a school that you trust this little is mind boggling.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 18:51     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:My child has several friends who received diagnoses and were counseled out. When my own child was diagnosed (ADHD inattentive presentation), the parents of those children told me to be careful of disclosing too much to the school or requesting too many accommodations, as that went badly for them. But the school has been extremely helpful, and has even proactively made accommodations for my child without waiting for us to request them. We have not once encountered the slightest suggestion that my child should consider any other school. I'm not sure why the difference in outcome, but there's no one-size-fits-all answer here!



This was our private. The moms saw that the moment a diagnosis was given the teachers and administered to gossip and the mother got labeled as “difficult” and were soon counseled out or left on their one in disgust, as we did.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 18:34     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
If your schools are counseling out well behaved thriving kids diagnosed with ADHD your at the wrong school. So many kids have ADHD. We’ve have kids with ADHD at different schools and they have all been great!
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 18:11     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
Our big 3 is currently counseling out my child for ADHD despite us doing everything asked of us and my child not disrupting other kids. I would tell them absolutely nothing. These schools do not care about your child, they care about looking good to their donors. We can’t wait until we are out to warn all of our friends going through the admissions process. And because I’m sure I’ll get jumped on here- no, it’s not just our child. Once we started digging we found a history of the school doing this and know other people currently going through it at the school.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 18:10     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
Honest question....why do you think the ADHD diagnosis will get you counseled out and not the behavior?
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 17:47     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
If your kid had a broken arm, would you not tell your school? If pour you deny your child glasses at school?
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 17:40     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
EVERY private school has kids with ADHD. Every single school. You will not be counseled out unless your child’s needs cannot adequately be addressed by the school. No one is getting counseled out for inattention. Schools are concerned about behavior issues that impact the classroom.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 16:55     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My child has several friends who received diagnoses and were counseled out. When my own child was diagnosed (ADHD inattentive presentation), the parents of those children told me to be careful of disclosing too much to the school or requesting too many accommodations, as that went badly for them. But the school has been extremely helpful, and has even proactively made accommodations for my child without waiting for us to request them. We have not once encountered the slightest suggestion that my child should consider any other school. I'm not sure why the difference in outcome, but there's no one-size-fits-all answer here!


Did you disclose?


Yes. And we simultaneously told them about all of the therapies we were starting to pursue outside of school (cognitive behavioral therapy, talk therapy, and individualized executive function coaching). We wanted them to know we're doing everything we can, and that seems to be appreciated by the school.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 16:46     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
Anonymous wrote:My child has several friends who received diagnoses and were counseled out. When my own child was diagnosed (ADHD inattentive presentation), the parents of those children told me to be careful of disclosing too much to the school or requesting too many accommodations, as that went badly for them. But the school has been extremely helpful, and has even proactively made accommodations for my child without waiting for us to request them. We have not once encountered the slightest suggestion that my child should consider any other school. I'm not sure why the difference in outcome, but there's no one-size-fits-all answer here!


Did you disclose?
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 16:37     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
My child has several friends who received diagnoses and were counseled out. When my own child was diagnosed (ADHD inattentive presentation), the parents of those children told me to be careful of disclosing too much to the school or requesting too many accommodations, as that went badly for them. But the school has been extremely helpful, and has even proactively made accommodations for my child without waiting for us to request them. We have not once encountered the slightest suggestion that my child should consider any other school. I'm not sure why the difference in outcome, but there's no one-size-fits-all answer here!
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 16:33     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
They already know! That's why they're commenting on inattentive behavior. You can tell them or not tell them, but they know.

You can be the family that tells the school you recognize the problem and are working to address it. Or you can be the family that has an inattentive kid and doesn't say anything about it. Up to you.
Anonymous
Post 02/12/2026 16:29     Subject: “Counseled out” for ADHD?
Our child is in lower school at a big 3/5 school, was recently diagnosed with ADHD and has started treatment. They are still doing well academically though there were a number of teacher comments about inattentive behavior.

We have not yet told the school or asked for any accommodation like sitting in the front row. I worry that telling the school would lead to being counseled out or perhaps getting singled out more for misbehavior than they otherwise would have.

If you were in a similar situation where the child was doing ok but with a few issues- did you tell the school? Are you glad you did? Do schools encourage adhd kids to leave?