Anonymous wrote:You are divorced. You aren't silly preteens
Oh wait, maybe one of you is

+1. I'm sorry did you say 40s and divorced?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Not great, did not do anything together for Thanksgiving, Xmas or New Year's and it wasn't like they had plans the entire holiday period with family or friends, was just not doing anything with me. Birthday is coming up soon. The more I think about it the more stupid I feel.

You are not special to that person. If someone sees you as a special person, they will go out of their way to make plans, especially on holidays.

The first year or two in a new relationship should be about each other, BUT you both have kids. So, there's a ton of things they are probably juggling.

they may acknowledge it on the day with flowers or something but if you have already expressed that it was important to you, then they should at least attempt something. If they don't then I think it shows how this person does not regard what's important to you as being important to them, or they forgot (I not only forget valentines day but also anniversaries, and I'm a woman; DH always remembers).

That said, V Day is ridiculous. Just another commercialized holiday for people to spend money.

Anonymous wrote:It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Not great, did not do anything together for Thanksgiving, Xmas or New Year's and it wasn't like they had plans the entire holiday period with family or friends, was just not doing anything with me. Birthday is coming up soon. The more I think about it the more stupid I feel.

I would have broken up with you, because it's important to you.
All else great?

It depends on how I was otherwise treated over the last 11 months. You had the chance to see holidays, birthdays, stress, emergencies. How did that go?

Yes, because adults caring about Valentine's Day is annoying and silly.

You need to find someone compatible with you, not just someone who complies with your instructions.

Anonymous wrote:If something is important to you, and it's been communicated, personally I'd give (in my head) one last chance and if they do anything else likely move on.
-person where V Day not important but what's important is it's important to 'you' and you communicated it

This

I wouldn't, but you might, and that's OK.

The reason I wouldn't is because it would never get to that point. You have to start the communication, that's up to you.

Hey, Larlo. I like Valentine's Day, I like showing my SO how much I love them, and in turn being show how much my SO loves me. (right now that's you!). So I'd like to celebrate together. How about you, how do you feel about Valentine's Day?

If something is important to you, and it's been communicated, personally I'd give (in my head) one last chance and if they do anything else likely move on.
-person where V Day not important but what's important is it's important to 'you' and you communicated it

Anonymous wrote:You are divorced. You aren't silly preteens
Oh wait, maybe one of you is

+1

You are divorced. You aren't silly preteens
Oh wait, maybe one of you is

Anonymous wrote:No plans made or talked about.

Have you initiated anything? Any mention of making a plan?

You decide what is important to you.

Valentine's Day is not important to me and would not be important to anyone I would want to be with in my 40s.

If it is important to you, you could say, "I would really like to do something to celebrate Valentine's Day with you. Here are a couple of ideas... what do you think of them?" And suggest things you would both like to do.

No plans made or talked about. I feel like it's a bad idea to stay with someone who just does not care. I have mentioned that it's something that is important to me and that it is coming up a few times. In early 40s, both divorced, dating about 11 months.