Anonymous
02/11/2026 08:02
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Anonymous wrote:Do you work, OP? If not, you should all move.
I do work. My job is tied to where we currently live, but I can somewhat easily find a new job. It actually seems like the kids will prefer this set up -- they don't want to move
Anonymous
02/11/2026 08:02
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Anonymous wrote:He's OK with leaving his kids 4 days per week every week?
I don't think this sounds sustainable.
They are 10 & 12, not 4 & 2. You guys are super coddling of parents, just like how parents shouldn't need to wait till their kids are 18 to date, they shouldn't need to be their 24/7 for their 10 and 12 year olds.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:59
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Anonymous wrote:Can the grandparents help you with the kids on a regular basis?
Grandparents live in his new job location, so he will likely bring them up to stay with us at our family home often.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:58
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Your DH will likely meet somebody. He'll be lonely and have free rein to pursue it.
And it would be absolutely warranted and ethical. There is no such thing as cheating in a dead bedroom marriage.
He is on medication, so its a health issue. Almost no chance he will step out but even if it does, we're open
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:57
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Anonymous wrote:You’ll have more money. Is this 3 hours driving or plane?
It’ll be harder for you actually cause dh will not be able to contribute to any weekday responsibilities, meals, doctor / dentist appointments, driving kids around, etc. so unless you’re already doing all this yourself, his share of responsibilities will fall on you. These are things that cannot be moved to a weekend.
It will also depend how much / what your dh will do when he’s back on the weekend to make your life easier. Shopping, help with meal prep etc.
It’s these aspects that will be harder on you if they’re shared. If you’re a SAHM and already have all these responsibilities on you, then it won’t be much difference.
I already do everything by myself. Sometimes I joke to my friends I'm a "single mother" anyway. Maybe this will actually help our relationship since there will be less resentment of he isn't doing any family work, it makes sense because he is away
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:52
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Anonymous wrote:Your DH will likely meet somebody. He'll be lonely and have free rein to pursue it.
And it would be absolutely warranted and ethical. There is no such thing as cheating in a dead bedroom marriage.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:45
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
I'd be happy as heck to get him out. The kids should be with their friends anyway on weekends.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:29
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Do you work, OP? If not, you should all move.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:27
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Did he actively seek out a job 3 hours away? You're not having sex and he's moving out.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:16
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Can the grandparents help you with the kids on a regular basis?
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:16
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Anonymous wrote:DH just got a job offer 3 hours away that pays double of what he gets now, and the job offers a house and a food stipend so $0 cost there. Work M-F, come back Fri-Sun every weekend. Our kids are 10 and 12. They will miss DH obviously but also do not want to switch schools and miss friends. What will this do to our life and relationship? We've been in separate bedrooms and not intimate for a decade.
Are the separate bedrooms and lack of intimacy because you don’t get along? Or is everyone happy?
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:15
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
You’ll have more money. Is this 3 hours driving or plane?
It’ll be harder for you actually cause dh will not be able to contribute to any weekday responsibilities, meals, doctor / dentist appointments, driving kids around, etc. so unless you’re already doing all this yourself, his share of responsibilities will fall on you. These are things that cannot be moved to a weekend.
It will also depend how much / what your dh will do when he’s back on the weekend to make your life easier. Shopping, help with meal prep etc.
It’s these aspects that will be harder on you if they’re shared. If you’re a SAHM and already have all these responsibilities on you, then it won’t be much difference.
It’ll be harder for you actually cause dh will not be able to contribute to any weekday responsibilities, meals, doctor / dentist appointments, driving kids around, etc. so unless you’re already doing all this yourself, his share of responsibilities will fall on you. These are things that cannot be moved to a weekend.
It will also depend how much / what your dh will do when he’s back on the weekend to make your life easier. Shopping, help with meal prep etc.
It’s these aspects that will be harder on you if they’re shared. If you’re a SAHM and already have all these responsibilities on you, then it won’t be much difference.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:12
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
He's OK with leaving his kids 4 days per week every week?
I don't think this sounds sustainable.
I don't think this sounds sustainable.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:10
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
Your DH will likely meet somebody. He'll be lonely and have free rein to pursue it.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 07:09
Subject: Living apart on weekdays because of job
DH just got a job offer 3 hours away that pays double of what he gets now, and the job offers a house and a food stipend so $0 cost there. Work M-F, come back Fri-Sun every weekend. Our kids are 10 and 12. They will miss DH obviously but also do not want to switch schools and miss friends. What will this do to our life and relationship? We've been in separate bedrooms and not intimate for a decade.