Anonymous wrote:You simply will not find anything comparable here.

+1. I'm a Special Ed teacher in a huge district in the DMV. There is simply not enough personnel and time to accommodate all the students who need services. We try and some years are better than others but it's generally pretty rough especially if you don't have good administrative support.

I understand wanting to stay anonymous but I am very curious where OP is located. A small, well-resourced district with good administration in a beautiful area sounds like a dream job. I'm not surprised there's low staff turnover!

You cannot predict the future. Things change every year. The perfect school one year is terrible in two. And vice versa.

Does your DC have a one on one aid currently? Do not expect one in the DC area with a diagnosis of ASD 1 with anxiety. One on one aids here are only for the most severely affected children.

What are your DC’s relative strengths? Are they academic? Are they sporty? Are they musical? What do they enjoy?

I’d stay where you are
Having said that, what are you doing outside of school to help your child thrive? You can’t expect the school to do it all.

You simply will not find anything comparable here.

A CSS site is terrible for a kid with anxiety.
Good lord, no.

Is the move optional? If so, I would stay put.

What is your housing budget and what will the commute be?

Don't make your entire family's life revolve around staying in a subpar situation for a "perfect" school when your son is SIX. It could easily no longer be perfect when he's 8... or 10... and then what?

The amount of time and energy it takes to manage a kid with this profile is huge. Our son is similar. Do not discount the energy it will take to manage issues if a school doesn't have the right staff. If we could be guaranteed a good situation for 2-3 years, we would sell our house and take pay cuts.

What about Howard County in MD?

As the parent of 3 now grown/almost grown kids, I cannot recommend MCPS. My kids had different issues but I had to fight for every little thing. I’d stay where you are if you are happy. However, I do agree with others that things do change and evolve and what is a good placement today might change in a few years. Your child may struggle less with proper interventions and maturity and need less support. It’s also possible new issues could emerge. To add to the complexity, even good schools can change with new leadership or teachers. You just need to keep reevaluating goodness of fit. Still, if I had what you have in K or 1st, I’d 100% stay put for now if you have the ability to do so without sacrificing too much for other family members.

I would move heaven and earth to stay where you are, honestly.

Can the parent with the job offer in the DMV commute, even if it’s long distance? School is such a big part of the life of the entire family, I wouldn’t give up a “dream” school.

Just a quick note to say that you should do what's best for your entire family, not just your child right now. At six, we thought we had a dream set-up for our high-needs child, but then their needs continued to evolve and change as they got older and school/academics became more complex, teachers changed, and the perfect school wasn't perfect any longer.

Also, take recs for specific schools on this board with a grain of salt, bc what works well for one SPED student may not work well for a different child with different diagnoses and needs. Visit schools and talk to principals if you can. Rent for at least the first year before buying a home in the area.

You should move to Laurel Ridge Elementary in FCPS, which has a fantastic special education program, a CSS site (for students with significant behavioral and emotional needs with many kids like your son), a great general ed staff, and low teacher turnover, due to the great principal who has made a career out of working with students with special education needs. The parent community is great. Send your child’s IEP to the school ahead of time so they can talk with you about his needs now and plan for him.

TLDR: We are in a parents' dream well-resourced school district with top-tier SPED/teacher/administration team who have poured everything and a zillion accommodations into our ASD1+anxiety VERY hard to motivate DS (6), resulting in him thriving, loving school, and being very happy.

Planning to relocate to the DMV this summer and I am not finding a school/school system that will provide anything comparable/what he needs.

The current school system goes through high school. Moving to the DMV is better for work and other considerations. Should we move him or stay here? WWYD?

(I welcome all recommendations, but had hoped to find a public school district through HS. Private is likely out of reach, but give your recommendations anyway, please.)

The long version:
We are in a beautiful, tiny, well-resourced school district in another state that has and incredibly dedicated SPED team and teachers/providers/paras/social worker/staff that have all been with the school for 10+ years. The school district is able to pay better, be selective, and have the resources and time needed to adequately help the kids they serve. The school/SPED personnel and principal are superb and devoted to SN kids. They work together as a cohesive team and want to work there, so they stay. It has been a wonderful situation for our child as he faced crippling anxiety at the beginning of the school year.

DS's anxiety was so significant that he was either fighting or flight-ing the first part of the school year and was completed unable to access the curriculum (or anything else) during large swaths of his days due to his hyperarousal/hyperalert state. The school took this in stride and supported him every step of the way by adding tons of accommodations, which required a lot of resources on the school's part.

Notwithstanding his anxiety disorder, DS has a very difficult time attending. But another huge concern is that DS is generally unmotivated to do anything other than what he wants to do at that moment. So all of his gains happened because this team held his hand the whole way through (and sometimes/often? dragging him by it, figuratively, of course). Without significant encouragement, oversight, follow-through, and consequences, DS will not do his assigned work or stay on task. I fear that DS's lack of motivation and eschewing hard-work (any work?) will not change and that he will not be successful unless his school works hard to motivate him and holds him accountable.

Because of his current school team and their above-and-beyond efforts, our ASD1+anxiety DS's anxiety is managed; he's had many wins, and is a thriving, happy boy who is excited to go to school every day.

BUT, we have a planned move to the DMV over the summer.

I have searched and searched in various forums and formats, and have been unable to find any DMV public school district remotely close to what I've described. Some of the privates seem to be the only kind-of comparable options. Plus, affording privates will be tough and possibly will become out of reach.

So, WWYD? Stay or go?

We could figure out staying in the current location, although one spouse, personally, really does not want to stay, and the other spouse would have to switch jobs, which would not be the easiest thing to do. Of course any and all recommendations and feedback are appreciated.