Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:47     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Just the couple. Not children. It is far easier to plan childcare and cancel it than to try and arrange childcare late.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:40     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Maybe they haven't decided because it is just the save the date.

If it is the invitation, Mr. and Mrs. Smith means Mr. and Mrs Smith. Not anyone else. Not the baby. Not the baby because they baby doesn't count in the numbers. If traveling, you can ask for guidance about a baby sitter. I would also hope your brother could ask his brother.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:34     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Maybe that's why. Perhaps they'd like the wedding and reception to not have a ton of young kids running around.


This. If they have to provide a seat, a meal, and cake for every niece and nephew it would be a lot. And might mean a larger venue.

Since you will have a baby in arms, and you're close relatives, you may ask.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:28     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Don’t ask. Take your baby with you. Don’t traumatize a 1 year old.


Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:27     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Maybe that's why. Perhaps they'd like the wedding and reception to not have a ton of young kids running around.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:17     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Don’t ask. Take your baby with you. Don’t traumatize a 1 year old.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:17     Subject: Re:Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Is there a way to ask your MIL without causing a lot of drama? She may know. Or just ask BIL. Or just arrange for your family to care for the baby anyway and enjoy the weekend away. The baby wont remember going anyway.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:09     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Your baby might not count for the numbers since it likely won't eat a real meal or even a kid's meal (which are still $$$).
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:08     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
They could be providing a babysitter.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:04     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
I would have said just you guys, but I just got a invitation for a wedding this summer that I KNOW my kids are invited to (as the bride and groom were talking to my kids about it recently, and how much fun the kids would have) and it says just my husband and I.

So yeah, you gotta check with someone.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:02     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:Your spouse needs to ask their brother. That's the only way to get an answer.


Exactly. And if you ask now there's a chance to clarify that if the baby can't come, your family may not be able to show up.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:01     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
You need to clarify with the couple. Generally it means no kids, but no way to tell for sure.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 13:01     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Your spouse needs to ask their brother. That's the only way to get an answer.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 12:59     Subject: Re:Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Not necessarily. It means they've forgotten about your baby.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 12:58     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.