Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:12
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
OP is nuts
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:11
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
Forcing her is a great way to get her to hate your religion. So, keep going the way you have been.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:10
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
Anonymous wrote:She isn’t going to “see reason”. If you embrace that it will be easier. It can still be a family rule she doesn’t agree with, but you can’t force someone to agree.
My kid doesn’t think they should have to unload the dishwasher. Nothing I tell them will change their perspective. They still need to unload the dishwasher.
OP here, I fear I didn’t make clear how dramatic her refusal is. We physically need to carry her out the door on Sundays. It’s strange and embarrassing. She’s mostly such a well-behaved child, I just don’t understand.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:09
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
You are pushing your beliefs on her. You need to back up and let her make some decisions. You sound nuts.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:08
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
Anonymous wrote:No, you cannot make her understand, because this is not a reasoned decision on your part. It's an emotional decision. Choosing to believe in a religion is an emotional decision.
Yes, you can coerce her into a life she does not want until she's financially independent from you. Many parents all around the world think it is acceptable to force things upon their children, because they believe their children are extensions of themselves.
But actions have consequences. Do not then complain years from now that she does not behave like a dutiful adult daughter, does not visit as often as she should, and doesn't come running when you're old and in need of help.
- BTDT.
BTDT? Sorry. What does this mean?
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:08
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
Also religion is personal. Everyone should seek it out of they, themselves, believe in it. Your DD is questioning it and that's admirable. I would respect her opinions and be proud that she's not a sheep.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:06
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
She isn’t going to “see reason”. If you embrace that it will be easier. It can still be a family rule she doesn’t agree with, but you can’t force someone to agree.
My kid doesn’t think they should have to unload the dishwasher. Nothing I tell them will change their perspective. They still need to unload the dishwasher.
My kid doesn’t think they should have to unload the dishwasher. Nothing I tell them will change their perspective. They still need to unload the dishwasher.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:05
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
No, you cannot make her understand, because this is not a reasoned decision on your part. It's an emotional decision. Choosing to believe in a religion is an emotional decision.
Yes, you can coerce her into a life she does not want until she's financially independent from you. Many parents all around the world think it is acceptable to force things upon their children, because they believe their children are extensions of themselves.
But actions have consequences. Do not then complain years from now that she does not behave like a dutiful adult daughter, does not visit as often as she should, and doesn't come running when you're old and in need of help.
- BTDT.
Yes, you can coerce her into a life she does not want until she's financially independent from you. Many parents all around the world think it is acceptable to force things upon their children, because they believe their children are extensions of themselves.
But actions have consequences. Do not then complain years from now that she does not behave like a dutiful adult daughter, does not visit as often as she should, and doesn't come running when you're old and in need of help.
- BTDT.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:04
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It wouldn't be my hill to die on. I'd let her skip.
That’s fine. It is mine.
Then figure it out for yourself. It is sure to backfire on your relationship with DD.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:03
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
If you’ve decided to die on this hill, it’s likely to remain a point of friction until she moves out. Sorry.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:02
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
Anonymous wrote:We go to church every Sunday. As a family. Non-negotiable, sorry. That’s how it’s always been. When my DD 15 moves out of the house she can skip church if she’d like, she can join a monastery for all I care, but right now she lives with us and every Sunday you better believe she will be at church with us. End of discussion!
But she won’t listen to reason. She’s insisting that she’s an “atheist” and that somehow means she should be exempt from the family rule. Not how it works! She says that church makes her uncomfortable and has said that she has issues with “religion being homophobic.” Well our church isn’t, the minister’s daughter is married to a woman! But I can’t persuade her. It’s always a fight, every single week, and I’m just exhausted. How do I make my daughter understand why this is required?
This is a tough one OP. We've had a similar rule and age 14-15 is where we've run into problems.
Does she have friends at church? Is there a youth group or Sunday school class for teens? This helps a lot. I've agreed to let mine skip church services if they go to Youth group, sunday school or something else instead.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:02
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
What do you feel that forcing her to go is accomplishing? Why is it required other than "just because?"
Anonymous
02/08/2026 16:01
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
Anonymous wrote:It wouldn't be my hill to die on. I'd let her skip.
That’s fine. It is mine.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 15:59
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
It wouldn't be my hill to die on. I'd let her skip.
Anonymous
02/08/2026 15:57
Subject: DD 15 just won’t listen to reason!
We go to church every Sunday. As a family. Non-negotiable, sorry. That’s how it’s always been. When my DD 15 moves out of the house she can skip church if she’d like, she can join a monastery for all I care, but right now she lives with us and every Sunday you better believe she will be at church with us. End of discussion!
But she won’t listen to reason. She’s insisting that she’s an “atheist” and that somehow means she should be exempt from the family rule. Not how it works! She says that church makes her uncomfortable and has said that she has issues with “religion being homophobic.” Well our church isn’t, the minister’s daughter is married to a woman! But I can’t persuade her. It’s always a fight, every single week, and I’m just exhausted. How do I make my daughter understand why this is required?
But she won’t listen to reason. She’s insisting that she’s an “atheist” and that somehow means she should be exempt from the family rule. Not how it works! She says that church makes her uncomfortable and has said that she has issues with “religion being homophobic.” Well our church isn’t, the minister’s daughter is married to a woman! But I can’t persuade her. It’s always a fight, every single week, and I’m just exhausted. How do I make my daughter understand why this is required?