Gratitude is the most basic simple thing to give. If you can’t even do that, I don’t think there’s much love there.

is it about more respect or appreciation? is 'thank you' a replacement of 'i love you'?

Anonymous wrote:Not a big deal to me. My culture never said anything. I think we weren't even allowed to talk until age 18 and out of the house.
I also learned that most people have much bigger problems in their relationships than 'thank you'.

Hahaha. I married into someone with a “culture” like this. Then he told me thank yous not only weren’t a big deal but they were making his family uncomfortable. And then a decade in he started forwarding me scathing texts from his mother because his aunt was frustrated by never getting thank yous from me, and he asked how I was going to deal with it.

Found the golden boy!

It bothers me when I make dinner and no one says thank you. It's rude. My family members can be rude. I will have my mom visit for a week and she will never say thank you just expect me to feed her, take her places, etc. She does not take out out to dinner or offer to buy dinner one night. She's rude and has no manners.

Your spouse lacks basic manners.

This can’t be the first time you’ve noticed this through your your relationship.

Yes. It’s rude. Discuss w her.

Some people just don't say it. It could be a harbinger, or it could be no problem at all. It could be total disrespect, or nothing of the sort. Depends on the person and what their baseline is. Did they used to say it all the time and now they don't? That's something to take note of.

Not a big deal to me. My culture never said anything. I think we weren't even allowed to talk until age 18 and out of the house.
I also learned that most people have much bigger problems in their relationships than 'thank you'.

When was the last time you said thank you to her?
Do you think certain things are just expected tasks and other things require thanks and gratitude? Are the things you do more worthy of thanks than the things she does?

I’m assuming genders here for a specific reason: most women are trained to expect family life and relationships to be thankless; the reward is long-term, not daily validation.

I’m not trying to be belligerent but as someone in the middle of a divorce from someone who walked out because he felt “disrespected” and like I “never said thank you”, you might first hold up a mirror to your behavior and then ask if this is really about your relationship or if it is a one-sided thing revolving around your ego.

I read something a while ago that said people
should stop asking if they’re doing their share of 50% in a 50/50 relationship and instead asking why they aren’t doing 100%. Ask yourself if you are nickel and diming your way to 50% and don’t even get there because you’re too busy counting thank yous and demanding “respect”.

as titled. obviously we have many other issues in marriage and in life in general but every time this happens i wonder if this would be the last straw and i/we call it quits. i don't if she's really pissed about this in particular of just pissed at me or just pissed in general. it doesn't bother me at all/much, i honestly can't remember when was the last time she said thank you to me.