Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No screen time at all during the week. Weekends I think it’s ok to be lax, but keep him occupied doing other things as well or just tell him no computer/tv after a while and he needs to do something else.

NP but this is our approach as well.

Same here. Maybe watching a movie or a tv show on the weekend, but mostly playing with toys, doing art, dancing, making up games, reading, etc.

Yes, all of this.

One thing we did in 3rd is get my kid good blue tooth speakers and set up our Spotify so he can add music to his own playlist and play that playlist to the speakers in his room whenever he wants. Being able to listen to music of his choosing in his room during free time has reduced interest in screen time because the music is stimulating in one of the ways screens are (background sound) but he can read or draw or build legos at the same time and feel as engaged as he would watching a TV show or playing a computer game. He also has gymnastic mats in his room and will practice "ninja movies" while listening to music (we have some rules around what he's allowed to do, including absolutely no jumping onto or off of any furniture ever, and he knows the mats and the music will be taken away if he breaks those rules). I think physically moving around is so important for kids this age -- on eon the big problems with screen time is that it results in so much sitting and lying down when kids already spend so much of their day sitting at school.

Starting at 9 we also started allowing him to go to the playground across the street to meet a friend, as I can see that playground from my upstairs office so can check in visually every few minutes. Great during the warmer months.

OP, it sounds like your kid needs more options for things to do that meet his needs for stimulation. I think he's resorting to screen time because he's bored and doesn't know what else to do, but you can help cultivate other hobbies. It starts with taking the screens away and forcing him to try other things.

I think people BS a bit about screentime.

My child does reading and hw nightly,
he does 5 different sports (including 1 club) for a total of about 12-15 hours or more a week.
Plays with friends every single day in the neighborhood riding bikes or walking around for at least an hour up to 3-4 hours a day and our screentime is about the same. I am not worried with how active and how much socializing he does. 4th grader

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No screen time at all during the week. Weekends I think it’s ok to be lax, but keep him occupied doing other things as well or just tell him no computer/tv after a while and he needs to do something else.

NP but this is our approach as well.

Same here as well for my third grader, and it works well for us.

Some ideas for you. I have a 5th grader and when he is not on screens he:
-eats a snack
-does chores
-does homework or workbooks (unrelated to school work)
-reads
-hangs out with friends
-draws
-practices music
-plays with lego, pets etc.
-chats with family members
-plays single player (non screen) games

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No screen time at all during the week. Weekends I think it’s ok to be lax, but keep him occupied doing other things as well or just tell him no computer/tv after a while and he needs to do something else.

NP but this is our approach as well.

Same here. Maybe watching a movie or a tv show on the weekend, but mostly playing with toys, doing art, dancing, making up games, reading, etc.

When you're cooking, can he do homework, or help, or just hang out and chat with you? I understand it's harder at this age when they don't really play with many toys anymore. Mine will read, write a letter to a relative, or just talk. Downtime can be flopping down on the couch to read a magazine or rest, not watch tv! Does he listen to music at all? Audiobooks could also be good.

That sounds like a lot to me. Does he get screen time at school too? Mine gets screen time in practically every class, including language, art, and music, so we really limit screens at home. He does use a math app at home.

Anonymous wrote: Saying his grades are good is meaningless

+1

Parent of teens here. OP your DS needs to be able to occupy himself without a screen, both inside and outside. He needs to hang out with other kids, maybe find someone his age to play chess with, make things, be bored, ride a bike somewhere, learn how to handle unstructured time, walk to a park to practice shots on goal, lay ups, etc, develop social skills that can't be developed while watching a screen. For 4th grade, I would also cut back or cut out weekday screen time. If you have to offer screen time, long form is better than short form.

Read The Anxious Generation. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/171681821-the-anxious-generation?from_search=true&from_srp=true&qid=xzr6hMvfMm&rank=1

Anonymous wrote:No screen time at all during the week. Weekends I think it’s ok to be lax, but keep him occupied doing other things as well or just tell him no computer/tv after a while and he needs to do something else.

NP but this is our approach as well.

No screen time at all during the week. Weekends I think it’s ok to be lax, but keep him occupied doing other things as well or just tell him no computer/tv after a while and he needs to do something else.

I think 2 hours during the week is fine, especially on a school night. But I require my 3rd to send me a request. If she's sending me two in a row, I tell her she needs to take a break which is 15-20 minutes. That's when she usually reads or plays with her dog or sister. You should 100% have screen time limits set up. It's OK to rely on screen time when you need a break or to allow your kids to unwind, they have long days too.

Anonymous wrote:I would limit it to an hour after all homework is done, M-F. If he goes to one of those schools that assigns very light homework I would make him read a book or do some academic enrichment before screens. Saying his grades are good is meaningless because some schools are very weak. I would go by standardized test scores, if his school administers such tests. 95th percentile and up earns more liberal screen privileges.

Op here. He finishes his homework at aftercare, so no homework needs to be done at home. He is in CES, and 99% for both map M and map R. I could give him academic enrichment, but I can only rely on app which are screens unless I send him to private tutoring which is costly. I hesitate on math enrichment unless I want to introduce higher level pre algebra/algebra and I am not a teacher material on English subject.

I would limit it to an hour after all homework is done, M-F. If he goes to one of those schools that assigns very light homework I would make him read a book or do some academic enrichment before screens. Saying his grades are good is meaningless because some schools are very weak. I would go by standardized test scores, if his school administers such tests. 95th percentile and up earns more liberal screen privileges.

Does he actually watch screens during all the times they are available to him above? If yes, I think that's way too much.

My kid has the opportunity to watch TV pretty much daily but only chooses it once every few days. Sometimes on the weekends she asks to watch a movie and we usually say yes. Most of the time, she'd rather play outside, read a book, draw, or play with toys. So even though there's probably 24 hours of time available for screen time a week, she's generally only watching maybe 3-5 hours total each week.

We don't permit handheld screens (tablets or phones) in elementary. So this is just TV time or, occasionally, playing Minecraft on her dad's computer.

DH is hand off, and I am the primary caregiver and also working full time. It gets to the point that I have to put a limit on screentime hours before I get crazy.

His daily schedules available to watch screentime are below:
Mon: 3:30pm to 5:30pm, 7:30pm to 9pm
Tue: 6:15pm to 8pm
Wed: 6:15pm to 9pm
Thur: 6:15pm to 8pm
Fri: 3:30pm to 9pm
Sat: except 3 hours of basketball/soccer, all day screentime 9am to 9pm unless DH plays boardgame/chess with him or I take him out to do scout/volunteering work/playdates/attend events.
Sun: except 3 hours of rock climbing and ocassional swimming , all day screentime 9am to 9pm unless DH plays boardgame/chess with him or I take him out to do scout/volunteering work/playdates/attend events.

His academic is great, nothing to complain and above average. He does a few team sports and individual sports. He does scout and volunteering work sometimes. He has a reading habit of 30 min to 1.5 hours daily early in the morning before 9am. DH is hands off and I am overwhelmed. I understand that he needs some downtime to relax after school at 6pm. I need time to cook as well. At this age, how many hours should I allow him on a daily or weekly basis?