I would not have such a person on my car insurance or let them drive a car in my name.

I'd consult with a specialist attorney how to arrange things so one does not incur legal liability for actions of BIL.

You need professional financial advice, and you need to make sure he's on every public benefit he can be on. SSDI and Medicaid.

And ensure that the trust is set up as medical trust so he can still get the benefits

Talk to low income housing establishments in DC/VA. Arlington has several programs and waitlists are shorter but you might first make him a resident /rent for him there
No car he can live by a metro station

Anonymous wrote:I would speak to a special needs attorney and explore bankruptcy to deal with the cc debt. You may need to become a conservator for him. Or get one elsewhere.

They aren't going to qualify for consevator.

Terminate the credit cards and work with him on a budget. Do not buy or do anything till she passes. He may be eligile for low income housing. He doesn't need a car.

Jumping on because we will be in a similar situation soon. It keeps me up at night. Adding disability attorney to 2026 list! A question though for us is I my BIL is bipolar and autistic but functioning. He can hold down a minimum wage job so doesn't qualify for disability insurance. However it is clear he will not be able to manage the condo that he will inherit. Is this also a disability attorney situation? On top of this my MIL has no will and refuses to talk about it. She is in her 80s.

Agree you need an attorney - the car in your name for example that you are proposing - yeah sure you maintain control of the asset, but its also a bigger liability than it is an asset for you - I'd rather have NO control of the asset and have him take on the liability. an attorney will ask the right questions here.

I would speak to a special needs attorney and explore bankruptcy to deal with the cc debt. You may need to become a conservator for him. Or get one elsewhere.

I think you should talk to an attorney who specializes in special needs trusts and asset protection. Make sure you are shielding yourselves from his potential liabilities. I doubt you want the car he drives in your name, nor do you want him on your insurance. You want very clear boundaries, and the help that you provide him to be gratuitous rather than guaranteed.

That’s a reasonable plan. And yes, absolutely, keep the unit in your name. A similar family member ended up being foreclosed upon after his mom bought him an apartment.

Put a limit on his credit card to help curb costs.

We are in a similar situation. Right now our relative is living with a friend but someday we might have to find a place for him. He's been living off an inheritance but that will run out pretty soon. Disability is small, and requires that he stay in DC which is expensive.

Should he really be driving? A car in your name sets you up for liability suits if he has a accidents and kills or injures people. Same for apartment you own. Somebody slips and falls they sue you.

Can he declare bankruptcy? Whatever you do do not assume the debt or get joint credit. Him even being an authorized user will mess you up.

Hey finance people - I need help. My BIL is 55, has highly functioning autism, but had a stroke about 10 years ago that impacted his memory.
He has trouble holding down a minimum wage job (just got fired from a grocery store), AND has issues with credit card debt ($45,000 that we know of).
He lives with my MIL. He gets disability $1500/month.

When MIL passes away, DH and I will take care of him. She's set up a trust that we'll oversee, but it's not enough.
What else should we do? I'm thinking buy him a car and apartment, but keep it in our names. He can eat off the $2000.
The credit card will always be a problem, he'll prob bounce from job to job.

I need a plan to protect my family, but also take care of his basic needs. We aren't willing to let him live on the street. And I really don't want him living with us!