Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony if any and CS will be based on his gross income not net income after deductions so don’t even worry about it.

What I do t know is if he is routing some of his bonuses to a separate account..

Watch out for deferred comp BS if he’s in a partnership.

Basically you and an accountant are going to have to request and obtain his comp going forward. Especially since you supported him financially, emotionally, logistically, and held down the home and kid front while he was in his Sweat equity stage.

If his employer doesn’t have an HR policy that allows such disclosure, Op would need a court order

Absolutely. Forensics accountants for divorce cases get those all the time when dealing with a bad agent, high conflict counterparty.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just try to sign settlement asap the size of transactions and costs of discovery may be not worth it pursuing legally. My exH bought jewelry for AP and discovery would be over $20k well above that

I’m the PP and discovery can be worthwhile if you have a house to divide, a huge income difference, or big differences in 401ks or individual named accounts. Disclosure is usually done voluntarily first, and if he won’t cooperate this is something that can be leveraged in mediation or a trial if you have to go to trial.

Don’t just settle in a panic or because you’re afraid.

ITA if it is big numbers but if it is just spending $500/month on hotel rooms, probably not worth it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony if any and CS will be based on his gross income not net income after deductions so don’t even worry about it.

What I do t know is if he is routing some of his bonuses to a separate account..

Watch out for deferred comp BS if he’s in a partnership.

Basically you and an accountant are going to have to request and obtain his comp going forward. Especially since you supported him financially, emotionally, logistically, and held down the home and kid front while he was in his Sweat equity stage.

If his employer doesn’t have an HR policy that allows such disclosure, Op would need a court order

Anonymous wrote:Just try to sign settlement asap the size of transactions and costs of discovery may be not worth it pursuing legally. My exH bought jewelry for AP and discovery would be over $20k well above that

This. Just get out. There’s no sense in spending fees to discover things. Your money is going to be separate soon anyway so who cares? It’s absolutely stupid that people end up spending more money on their divorce and giving their money to attorneys rather than keeping it themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony if any and CS will be based on his gross income not net income after deductions so don’t even worry about it.

What I do t know is if he is routing some of his bonuses to a separate account..

Watch out for deferred comp BS if he’s in a partnership.

Basically you and an accountant are going to have to request and obtain his comp going forward. Especially since you supported him financially, emotionally, logistically, and held down the home and kid front while he was in his Sweat equity stage.

Anonymous wrote:Alimony if any and CS will be based on his gross income not net income after deductions so don’t even worry about it.

What I do t know is if he is routing some of his bonuses to a separate account..

Is this a situation where he's spending $50k on sex workers? Then you have a dissipation-of-funds case. How do you even know what he's spending it on if it's going to a secret account?

Alimony if any and CS will be based on his gross income not net income after deductions so don’t even worry about it.

Def go after the SEP IRAs to split

Probably just quarter 1 fica, SSA, and Medicare/aid withholdings. Which hit the cap later in the year for salaries above $160k. Then your bimonthly paycheck is higher, less withholdings. Then quarter 1 it’s a smaller paycheck again.

Anonymous wrote:Just try to sign settlement asap the size of transactions and costs of discovery may be not worth it pursuing legally. My exH bought jewelry for AP and discovery would be over $20k well above that

I’m the PP and discovery can be worthwhile if you have a house to divide, a huge income difference, or big differences in 401ks or individual named accounts. Disclosure is usually done voluntarily first, and if he won’t cooperate this is something that can be leveraged in mediation or a trial if you have to go to trial.

Don’t just settle in a panic or because you’re afraid.

How do you know there is an affair? Maybe he’s protecting some savings because you’re an overspender? There’s no law requiring him to deposit it all in a joint account. You’d have to prove he is spending on an AP to argue dissipation of funds. Do you have proof? My spouse sends money to his parents without my consent. Is that dissipation of funds?

Just try to sign settlement asap the size of transactions and costs of discovery may be not worth it pursuing legally. My exH bought jewelry for AP and discovery would be over $20k well above that

This is a pretty standard thing to investigate in a divorce and your attorney will use disclosure and informal and then formal discovery to track accounts and funds.

But your timing is good and you are fortunate to have access to any account that gives you visibility into what’s going on. Download monthly account statements for every single account you can get your hands on. Attorneys will start with 24 months but go back way further while you can in case there’s anything else lurking out there. In a no-fault state whether it affects the settlement depends on your overall financial picture. I’m a SAHM and my ex hid accounts, diverted tons of funds, and generally lived large while accusing me of overspending and keeping tight controls on my access to funds. It will absolutely affect things like our asset division and alimony.

If you generally share passwords or access, things I wish I’d had easier access to and would have gotten before discovery are:

-credit card statements
-bank statements
-airline loyalty mileage statements
-hotel loyalty point statements
-travel bookings
-travel records

Good luck and I’m sorry you are in this situation.

I notice my husbands biweekly salary has been getting some deductions (there is an affair)-and I am in the process of filing. Has someone gone through this and used it in settlement as i suspect there is a secret account where his funds are going to?