I would say thank you for the gift, that it's very generous and it fits well, but that it's hard to predict what a teenager will choose to wear.

Then I'd store it until outgrown, and donate it.

I'd not lie and say she loves it but say as much as we appreciate the thoughtful gift, it is not dd's style and would you like us to ship it back to you or can we donate it to someone who needs a warm coat.

If that offends them then its there issue not yours

Anonymous wrote:I would lie and say she loves it and it fits great. Then next winter she'll have grown out of it.

This.

You’re already over the hump; deep winter will be behind us soon.

Are ILs local? If not, bring it in the car (in a garbage bag if you must, for the smell) and take a picture of your daughter in the coat next time you’re out and about. It could be in the parking lot at Target, wherever. Snap a pic, send it, mention how cute DD was and you wanted to share. Done.

If they are local, wear it when you visit them once and be done with it. But if they shipped a heavy coat, I’m guessing they aren’t local.

Considering your climate, this coat would only be worn a few times a year. Say thank you and move on (hide in the back of your closet).

Anonymous wrote:You guys are all nicer than me. I’d be sure they knew killing animals you have no plans to eat and making coats out of them is cruel and disgusting and the only thing a coat like that will be used for is a pet bed.

You DO understand OP's relatives did not buy this for her DD, right? That the coat has been in the family for decades? No need to say all that in this situation. You would just look like an idiot.

You guys are all nicer than me. I’d be sure they knew killing animals you have no plans to eat and making coats out of them is cruel and disgusting and the only thing a coat like that will be used for is a pet bed.

Anonymous wrote:It fits DD and it was so kind of you to think of her and surprise her like this, but she said that it's not really her style and she won't wear it.

We don't want it to sit unused, what would you like us to do with it?

Thanks again for thinking of her, she appreciates your care, and we do too!

They didn’t go out of their way to find something DD would love. They are shoving musty crap without checking in first if she even likes furs or wants and needs a jacket.

ThisX10000

Don’t mistake boomers unburdening themselves with crap as a grand gesture of thoughtful caring! It’s not! They are simply trying to make it appear magnanimous to feel good about getting rid of the item!

It fits DD and it was so kind of you to think of her and surprise her like this, but she said that it's not really her style and she won't wear it.

We don't want it to sit unused, what would you like us to do with it?

Thanks again for thinking of her, she appreciates your care, and we do too!

They didn’t go out of their way to find something DD would love. They are shoving musty crap without checking in first if she even likes furs or wants and needs a jacket.

Anonymous wrote:Have her wear it if they come over.

If it fits great now she'll grow out of it in two years.

This, make a huge fuss.

I would lie and say she loves it and it fits great. Then next winter she'll have grown out of it.

Have her wear it if they come over.

If it fits great now she'll grow out of it in two years.

Anonymous wrote:I would outsource this to my spouse if it is their parents.

+1 agree
I would tell my dh to handle it. If IL texted me directly I would wait a day or two and say “fits nicely, thank you for sending!” And leave it at that.

I’d tell them it is too small. A real fur coat is a PITA to store, especially if it already smells musty. My mother had several mink coats and she would send them to cold storage every summer even though we had air conditioning.

I would outsource this to my spouse if it is their parents.

Ils sent dd a surprise gift in the mail. It is a very heavy jacket lined with real fur. It belonged to a relative and is likely 20+ year old and smells like a musty basement.
The coat fits but dd (middle schooler) did not like it. Bringing it to dry cleaner is probably more expensive than buying a coat she loves.
I was planning to say thank you and just put it away and forget about it. However ils already called and texted to know how it fits, how she likes it etc.
i know they meant well and I don’t want to offend them (they are easily offended) but the coat is not going to be used here