Anonymous wrote:My 4th grader struggles with team sports. He’s coordinated and can be quick-thinking, but he doesn’t intuitively position himself for the action. Sometimes he seems engaged, but he can also get distracted (he does not have ADHD). He’s never been a particularly aggressive or competitive kid. He does enjoy competition to some extent, and I can tell he wishes he had the spotlight sometimes. However, he refuses to practice and becomes very defensive if we try to offer advice. I suspect there may be some self-esteem issues involved. Most of his friends are very into sports, and he’s been excluded or made fun of for not being “as good” as they are. That’s been hard to watch. Has anyone else had a child in a similar situation? How did you handle it? We’ve tried encouraging other sports or activities, but he refuses to try anything new.

You described my son to a T. We signed him up for year round swim team and haven't looked back. He's thriving.

We let mine stop doing organized sports in spring of fourth grade. He wasn't into it, he just wanted to be on a team with his friends with minimal commitment, but that's the age when they started shifting to more serious time commitments (club or travel instead of rec, 3-4 day sports instead of 2) and nobody wanted to reorganize the entire family's schedules to force him into that.

Instead, we bought some passes for a boulder gym and a ninja gym and focused more on getting outside for family bike rides last spring and fall. We've let all that lapse a bit this winter, so I am considering making him sign up for a running club in the spring with a friend - he doesn't like the sound of it but he likes being a good runner, and you don't get that sitting at home. Might conflict with a club he wants to do though.

The friends part is tough. Mine tends to gravitate to less sporty kids who are a little more nerdy- his interests too.

Try a different rec league. He is still young. This area starts specializing kids in sports so early.

If it is the same after one more season and he doesn't seem to be enjoying himself then try the individual sports listed above.

Don’t force him into playing sportsball.

He needs a good coach, good lessons. Lots of group setting team sports dont offer some kids enough individualized attn to improve. Also its hard to practice if you dont know good drills to do.

Lessons can help son get in a position to improve; over time the only thing that will keep him at pace is playing and practicing the sport.

Flag football can be good because there are specific plays.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids who couldn't "get" how to position themselves for rectangle sports (soccer, basketball, etc) thrived in diamond sports because there's time to think between plays.

Wuts a diamond sport

Baseball.

Anonymous wrote:My kids who couldn't "get" how to position themselves for rectangle sports (soccer, basketball, etc) thrived in diamond sports because there's time to think between plays.

Wuts a diamond sport

My kids who couldn't "get" how to position themselves for rectangle sports (soccer, basketball, etc) thrived in diamond sports because there's time to think between plays.

Try diff sports. Lax is a good one for kids w adhd

Anonymous wrote:My 4th grader struggles with team sports. He’s coordinated and can be quick-thinking, but he doesn’t intuitively position himself for the action. Sometimes he seems engaged, but he can also get distracted (he does not have ADHD). He’s never been a particularly aggressive or competitive kid. He does enjoy competition to some extent, and I can tell he wishes he had the spotlight sometimes. However, he refuses to practice and becomes very defensive if we try to offer advice. I suspect there may be some self-esteem issues involved. Most of his friends are very into sports, and he’s been excluded or made fun of for not being “as good” as they are. That’s been hard to watch. Has anyone else had a child in a similar situation? How did you handle it? We’ve tried encouraging other sports or activities, but he refuses to try anything new.

This could be nothing or something. I'm a parent whose kids have enjoyed some team sports and hated others, currently a coach, and a former Div. I athlete. What you're describing can apply to almost any 9/10 year old.

In fast moving-sports, very few kids can intuitively position themselves until they receive hours and hours of instruction and repetition. If he's coordinated, he's already above average for kids his age.

When you say, he won't practice does that mean on his own or with a team? A small minority of kids hours age practice on their own without parental prodding, even those on travel/club teams. If he's on a team and won't practice with the team, that's a discipline issue (i don't think that's what you're referring to though). His friends are separate issue and they just seem like they suck.

Just keep trying to expose him to other team sports, individual sports and other activities. He'll find his niche and appropriate friend group.

Try an individual sport like swim, tennis, track/field, skiing etc...

do swimming

Sign him up for something like archery or tennis or martial arts. He needs more exposure to other kinds of sports besides soccer (I'm guessing.)

My 4th grader struggles with team sports. He’s coordinated and can be quick-thinking, but he doesn’t intuitively position himself for the action. Sometimes he seems engaged, but he can also get distracted (he does not have ADHD). He’s never been a particularly aggressive or competitive kid. He does enjoy competition to some extent, and I can tell he wishes he had the spotlight sometimes. However, he refuses to practice and becomes very defensive if we try to offer advice. I suspect there may be some self-esteem issues involved. Most of his friends are very into sports, and he’s been excluded or made fun of for not being “as good” as they are. That’s been hard to watch. Has anyone else had a child in a similar situation? How did you handle it? We’ve tried encouraging other sports or activities, but he refuses to try anything new.