Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent, but we still need to respect the personal preferences of those who do, just like we need to respect the personal preferences of LGBT people.

Needs first
Wants second

Needs of functional adults (eg can just be on with it) go after needs of children and non-functional adults, as functional adults can attend to their own needs.

No wants get priority until everyone’s needs are met. Wants - everyone takes turns.

Sometimes, people think their wants are needs.

How is prioritizing your spouse over your parents prioritizing wants over needs?

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent, but we still need to respect the personal preferences of those who do, just like we need to respect the personal preferences of LGBT people.

Needs first
Wants second

Needs of functional adults (eg can just be on with it) go after needs of children and non-functional adults, as functional adults can attend to their own needs.

No wants get priority until everyone’s needs are met. Wants - everyone takes turns.

Sometimes, people think their wants are needs.

If you have kids, putting your parents above your spouse is a betrayal of your kids.

If you don't have kids and have no intention of ever having them (or at least not with your spouse) I think it can depend on the situation.

Ideally you don't have to choose -- if parents and spouse are at odds in a way where you have to choose, something's gone very wrong.

My parents would be pissed if I put them above my spouse but they love us both a lot and take good care of themselves

I don't know anyone who prioritizes their parent over their spouse.

Anonymous wrote:Blood is thicker than water. Also, this is cultural - in some cultures, you always take care of your parents for your entire adult life.

And at the direct detriment of your spouse and children. Money, effort, time, absence, stress, quality of life, living arrangements, etc.

Agree, some cultures have big strings attached, especially to their sons.

Blood is thicker than water. Also, this is cultural - in some cultures, you always take care of your parents for your entire adult life.

Another trollish post.

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent, but we still need to respect the personal preferences of those who do, just like we need to respect the personal preferences of LGBT people.

On what planet is this happening?

Will judge individual’s priorities and teach my children to do the same.

Wtf does LGBT personal preferences (about what? Food, dress, anal?) have to do with clinging to your old mommy after marriage and kids?

Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent, but we still need to respect the personal preferences of those who do, just like we need to respect the personal preferences of LGBT people.

Wtf

Of course it IS normal to prioritize your own spouse and children over your parents. You’re married and have a family of your own.

Pay it forward.

Of course most people can pay attention to both but you absolutely prioritizing your family over your family of origin.

What a bizarre comparison. Also, it is normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent.

What do you mean exactly? When you are talking about prioritizing your husband over your parents - in what kind of situation and how does that connect in any way to the preferences of LGBT people?

You are supposed to prioritize spouse. At least in Western cultures.

Uh, it is normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent.

I know it’s not normal to prioritize a spouse over a parent, but we still need to respect the personal preferences of those who do, just like we need to respect the personal preferences of LGBT people.