Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you have a reasonable rule in place. Why would you cave on this now?

How is it “reasonable”? It’s harming the child’s self expression!

In elementary school the teachers will subconsciously treat her differently, and not in a good way. In middle school, where half the girls wear makeup, it will not make much difference.

No, it sounds like some of the parents will by your post. Look, it’s your rule and you can do what you want. You don’t need our permission.

I’m a teacher and let my own kid color a chunk of her hair in 4th grade when she really wanted to. She tried a lot of neon colors that year and I helped her do it at home. It was just hair and would grow out. I wouldn’t care that much about eyeliner as long as it wasn’t too extreme. I think teachers are the type to judge less, not more. We see all types.

This is not a hill to die on, and I promise you, you will have larger, more important battles coming.

What you will do is teach her to be sneaky: buy the eyeliner, put it on at school/at a friend's house and buy the make up removing wipes and take it off before she gets home. Little sneaky things turn into big sneaky things. Little lies become big lies and now she will be an expert at hiding things, because you taught her how over something as silly as eyeliner

Anonymous wrote:Let her try mascara. It’s not hard looking like eyeliner can look on an 11 year old

Try a brown shade if she's pale. And not one of those lengthening mascara

My elderly neighbor told me once that her parents refused to let her use makeup when she was a young teen so she and her sisters would put Valeline on their eyelashes to mimic the effect of mascara

What your child wants is not new, though there are new mediums now to hear this message. Help her by giving her something mild.

Let her try mascara. It’s not hard looking like eyeliner can look on an 11 year old

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you have a reasonable rule in place. Why would you cave on this now?

How is it “reasonable”? It’s harming the child’s self expression!

And if a child wants to "self express" by walking around naked? Or wearing a shirt that says I Love Weed? Or wants to shave her head completely? There are acceptable parameters to expressing yourself. This is outside of those. And it's not "harming" OP's kid to say no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you have a reasonable rule in place. Why would you cave on this now?

How is it “reasonable”? It’s harming the child’s self expression!

In elementary school the teachers will subconsciously treat her differently, and not in a good way. In middle school, where half the girls wear makeup, it will not make much difference.

Anonymous wrote:OP you have a reasonable rule in place. Why would you cave on this now?

How is it “reasonable”? It’s harming the child’s self expression!

Shut this down OP.

OP you have a reasonable rule in place. Why would you cave on this now?

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I’d say 7th grade or 13, whichever is first. But you already said 13 so stick with it. Otherwise she learns she just has to nag a lot to get whatever she wants.

+1

Anonymous wrote:NO!!!!

Why not? Elaborate!

I don’t see the issue. Shes growing up and learning how to express herself. My 16yo still isn’t into makeup or grown up cosmetics/fashion, but I wouldn’t have had an issue with it at that age.

NO!!!!

Nope. I’d say 7th grade or 13, whichever is first. But you already said 13 so stick with it. Otherwise she learns she just has to nag a lot to get whatever she wants.

It’s a rule. No makeup until my DD is 13. End of conversation! No exceptions.

However, DD (now 11) has been pushing really hard for me to let her buy eyeliner (with her own money). She wants “dramatic” black eyeliner. I of course am putting my foot down. However she insists that she wants to be “scene” (whatever that means) and that I’m not letting her express herself. Ugh. I don’t want to cave. Should I?