Anonymous wrote:You didn't see it coming? How? My ex didn't, but he could never read the room.

Exactly the kind of judgement being discussed upthread.

You didn't see it coming? How? My ex didn't, but he could never read the room.

Anonymous wrote:Another woman here in the same boat, but cannot imagine dating as the solution to the complete unwanted upheaval of my life.

I’ve searched for an explanation for why he did this, and have nothing. Apparently it is a thing. Over the past few months I’ve been quietly introduced to sisters and friends-of-friends and acquaintances in the same boat. There’s a lot of questioning (is he cheating on you? What did you do?!) that pushes us into silence, which makes it even more isolating. It’s also quite rare for the man to be the one to leave in a marriage of college-educated equals, which compounds the judgement.

You’re not alone.

I am sorry you feel judgment. I certainly do not judge women in this situation. Just think their husbands are aholes.

WTAF?
Did he get inspired by Belle Burden’s scumbag ex?

Plan that divorce.
Your husband is moving on. You should as well.

Anonymous wrote:Midlife crises? I don’t know. It’s depressing. Now I find myself a single mom in midlife.

Any tips from those who’ve BTDT?

A friend told me to just go on dates and sleep with someone.

No don’t just go on dates and sleep with someone. Ignore that friend. That is a cheap fix. This is your life and you’re not cheap.

I'm so sorry. It was the biggest gut punch of my life and I was in complete shock. Honestly, going on dates was completely unappealing and several years later, it still is, but I know everyone is different.

Figure out your finances first, including housing. Make sure your kids feel safe and loved. Treat yourself kindly. Get a lawyer and get a therapist.

Surround yourself with supportive people who do not have divided loyalty and can give you honest advice, not just what you want to hear. Keep this off of social media.

You are not alone, but it can feel like it. It is incredibly isolating. I'm sorry you're going through this.

Another woman here in the same boat, but cannot imagine dating as the solution to the complete unwanted upheaval of my life.

I’ve searched for an explanation for why he did this, and have nothing. Apparently it is a thing. Over the past few months I’ve been quietly introduced to sisters and friends-of-friends and acquaintances in the same boat. There’s a lot of questioning (is he cheating on you? What did you do?!) that pushes us into silence, which makes it even more isolating. It’s also quite rare for the man to be the one to leave in a marriage of college-educated equals, which compounds the judgement.

You’re not alone.

Something similar happened to me, but I think we need more details to give you any meaningful advice.

If you haven't already, get a lawyer and go after him for child support. He doesn't get to just duck his responsibilities as a father.

What happened? Did he just take off?

Finding someone for sex isn't going to make you feel any more loved or wanted or cared for.

Focus on yourself and what you need to get where you want to go.

Midlife crises? I don’t know. It’s depressing. Now I find myself a single mom in midlife.

Any tips from those who’ve BTDT?

A friend told me to just go on dates and sleep with someone.

How is you finding someone for sex in the best interests of your children?

Your friend is an idiot.

Midlife crisis. Sorry. What an ahole. Take care of yourself!

Midlife crises? I don’t know. It’s depressing. Now I find myself a single mom in midlife.

Any tips from those who’ve BTDT?

A friend told me to just go on dates and sleep with someone.