None.

I’ve been married for 20 years. While we have had regular significant disagreements, he has never called me a name or yelled at me. I called him an absolute jerk once.

I'm okay with reciprocity. If I can dish it out, I can take it, and vice versa. I'd much rather have language than cheating, financial abuse, physical abuse, etc. I swear, so I'm okay with swearing.

I learned a long time ago to listen to the message and not the mess so I don't tone police people. They speak the way they speak, especially when they're angry. It's not even about me, so why take it personally? Someone who uses hot language when they're angry is angry. Someone who calls me a c*nt when they're just hanging around? That, I might walk away from. The only basis in that case is a foundational disrespect. But when angry? Language is a way to vent energy, and I can accept that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None, but I couldn’t live in a relationship with regular “fights” where things are heated like that. Upset, sure, but name calling? No.

And I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where I couldn’t tell my husband that he’s acting like a jerk when he’s acting like a jerk .

It really depends on what works for you, OP. You need to set your own boundaries. If something bothers you, then it bothers you. It doesn’t matter what other people do.

Also this

Anonymous wrote:Back and forth in a fight. Frankly, I woul rather hear about it than have anger or resentment squashed down or come out in passive aggressive ways.

And words are just words. It’s the meaning behind them. I work on an inpatient psych unit, and I have been called a “housewife” with more vitriol than I have been called a “m—ther f—er who sucks your father’s c—-.”

This

Anonymous wrote:None, but I couldn’t live in a relationship with regular “fights” where things are heated like that. Upset, sure, but name calling? No.

And I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where I couldn’t tell my husband that he’s acting like a jerk when he’s acting like a jerk .

It really depends on what works for you, OP. You need to set your own boundaries. If something bothers you, then it bothers you. It doesn’t matter what other people do.

None, but I couldn’t live in a relationship with regular “fights” where things are heated like that. Upset, sure, but name calling? No.

Back and forth in a fight. Frankly, I woul rather hear about it than have anger or resentment squashed down or come out in passive aggressive ways.

And words are just words. It’s the meaning behind them. I work on an inpatient psych unit, and I have been called a “housewife” with more vitriol than I have been called a “m—ther f—er who sucks your father’s c—-.”

None.

None. Leave. Now!

honey? sweetie? dear? those are ok

Wth? No.

None.

What? Absolutely not. None of that is appropriate and I would tag it verbal/emotional abuse.

Find someone who builds you up. You deserve not to be verbally assaulted.

None? That sounds the healthiest obviously.

Names back and forth in a fight?

Being called a C*nT? And/or B*&cH?

Worse, which I won’t spell out and actually I’m not sure but maybe I’m not super imaginative .