This is a simple we don't have any trips planned out this spring. It is an exhausting trip and not one we are doing any more than we have to. DS will be home in the summer.

College isn't really a great venue anyways for a grandparent visit when they aren't local or all that independent.

Just say no. It's that simple. "We aren't going to BFE. You can reach out to Junior to ask when he'll be in town and make plans with him."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would they be able to handle the flight, and two hour drive by themselves? I can understand them wanting to visit their grandson in his college town. I plan on taking my mother to see my son for her 81st birthday next month which will involve me driving two hours to pick her up, then driving two hours to the college town, and reverse on the way back, with me planning and paying for hotel, meals, etc.

I have fond memories of my grandparents who made surprise visits from 2.5 hours away to my college town a number of times.

Flights would be very expensive. They do not want to spend a lot of money. They think the train is too expensive too so mil said she wants us to drive her. Meanwhile that requires us staying over as well and spending for that as well, and possibly their hotel room too, and meals. It's just very awkward spending this much time with them, and the whole money aspect tbh really irritates me because they are very selfish when it comes to family but have zero issue spending when with friends. If it were a two hour trip it'd be fine and just a day trip but this is a lot to contemplate doing just to humor them.

Then just say no. Why do you even care how they react?

I doubt it's about the expense. They probably don't feel comfortable doing this without you as a support person. Or they don't think they can get from train to college because they don't want to drive a rental car in an unfamiliar area.

So much of seniors' demands is them trying to work around their inability and people not wanting to see it for what it is.

"We'll check with you the next time we are planning to drive down there, but we're maxed out this semester."

Anonymous wrote:Are the in-laws in the same town as you? Are they also 7 hrs away from DS?

Not the same town but same area, 30ish minutes from us.

Tell them that you won’t be driving them. Then let them plan whatever they want to do with that information (flight/drive or train or skip the trip).

Are the in-laws in the same town as you? Are they also 7 hrs away from DS?

Anonymous wrote:Would they be able to handle the flight, and two hour drive by themselves? I can understand them wanting to visit their grandson in his college town. I plan on taking my mother to see my son for her 81st birthday next month which will involve me driving two hours to pick her up, then driving two hours to the college town, and reverse on the way back, with me planning and paying for hotel, meals, etc.

I have fond memories of my grandparents who made surprise visits from 2.5 hours away to my college town a number of times.

Flights would be very expensive. They do not want to spend a lot of money. They think the train is too expensive too so mil said she wants us to drive her. Meanwhile that requires us staying over as well and spending for that as well, and possibly their hotel room too, and meals. It's just very awkward spending this much time with them, and the whole money aspect tbh really irritates me because they are very selfish when it comes to family but have zero issue spending when with friends. If it were a two hour trip it'd be fine and just a day trip but this is a lot to contemplate doing just to humor them.

"We are not planning to visit him this semester. Ask John if he would be able to drive you" and then do not engage.

The next time you plan on driving over there for a visit, just bring the in-laws. They'll have to wait a bit, and that is strictly their problem, not yours.

Would they be able to handle the flight, and two hour drive by themselves? I can understand them wanting to visit their grandson in his college town. I plan on taking my mother to see my son for her 81st birthday next month which will involve me driving two hours to pick her up, then driving two hours to the college town, and reverse on the way back, with me planning and paying for hotel, meals, etc.

I have fond memories of my grandparents who made surprise visits from 2.5 hours away to my college town a number of times.

Absolutely say no. They are being ridiculous.

"I'm sorry that does not work for us. We'll let you know when he is home this summer."

DS is a freshman and about 7 hours away from us, no direct flights so driving is best way to get there. In-laws have said they really want to visit him. They are only 75 so not super elderly, but don't feel comfortable with very long distances anymore. The other option is a train that would get them 2 hours away or a bus (a comfortable one, not Greyhound) which could get them to the small town where college is. They've basically said they do not want to do the train or bus so dh and I would have to drive them.

We had not planned a trip at all because we went twice in the fall (drop off and parents weekend) and are going to move him out in early May. DS has to come to us for an event in February and has Spring break in March so we will see him this term as well. How would you deal with this? I am really dreading the idea of planning this whole overnight trip with in-laws with hotel rooms and hanging out the whole entire weekend and long drive back and forth.