Anonymous wrote:That's really tasteless. If you gave it to her it's hers. You shouldn't get takebacks for gifts. What's wrong with you?

Anonymous wrote:I have slowly realized that two of my most intense and meaningful relationships in my life were with narcissists, or at least with people who had a lot of narcissistic tendencies. Both were amazingly good at making me feel good on the good days. Both made me feel horrible about myself on the bad days, which far outnumbered the good days.

The sex with them was not any better than the best sex I've had with other partners, if I'm thinking about sex from a purely physical standpoint, but sex with them usually felt incredible from an emotional standpoint. Nothing else has come close.

Now everyone else seems a little bit boring, in just about every way.

By the way, they were both covert narcissists. I didn't even know what that was until a few months ago. I thought narcissists were always kinda like Trump, the world's most famous narcissist. It turns out there are other kinds of narcissists. I'm repulsed by Trump type narcissists. The kind I'm drawn to is less grandiose. They claim to be the victim all the time. I was always trying to please them and usually coming up short. When I seemed to satisfy them, I was in heaven.

I'm a man. They are women. I'm glad I figured this out. I'm not sure what it means for future relationships.

Anonymous wrote:I have slowly realized that two of my most intense and meaningful relationships in my life were with narcissists, or at least with people who had a lot of narcissistic tendencies. Both were amazingly good at making me feel good on the good days. Both made me feel horrible about myself on the bad days, which far outnumbered the good days.

The sex with them was not any better than the best sex I've had with other partners, if I'm thinking about sex from a purely physical standpoint, but sex with them usually felt incredible from an emotional standpoint. Nothing else has come close.

Now everyone else seems a little bit boring, in just about every way.

By the way, they were both covert narcissists. I didn't even know what that was until a few months ago. I thought narcissists were always kinda like Trump, the world's most famous narcissist. It turns out there are other kinds of narcissists. I'm repulsed by Trump type narcissists. The kind I'm drawn to is less grandiose. They claim to be the victim all the time. I was always trying to please them and usually coming up short. When I seemed to satisfy them, I was in heaven.

I'm a man. They are women. I'm glad I figured this out. I'm not sure what it means for future relationships.

Anonymous wrote:I have slowly realized that two of my most intense and meaningful relationships in my life were with narcissists, or at least with people who had a lot of narcissistic tendencies. Both were amazingly good at making me feel good on the good days. Both made me feel horrible about myself on the bad days, which far outnumbered the good days.

The sex with them was not any better than the best sex I've had with other partners, if I'm thinking about sex from a purely physical standpoint, but sex with them usually felt incredible from an emotional standpoint. Nothing else has come close.

Now everyone else seems a little bit boring, in just about every way.

By the way, they were both covert narcissists. I didn't even know what that was until a few months ago. I thought narcissists were always kinda like Trump, the world's most famous narcissist. It turns out there are other kinds of narcissists. I'm repulsed by Trump type narcissists. The kind I'm drawn to is less grandiose. They claim to be the victim all the time. I was always trying to please them and usually coming up short. When I seemed to satisfy them, I was in heaven.

I'm a man. They are women. I'm glad I figured this out. I'm not sure what it means for future relationships.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting article.

Some highlights:

Sex with a narcissist can feel unlike anything else—often, it’s one of the only times you feel truly connected to them. Outside the bedroom, they may be distant, avoidant, dismissive, or emotionally unavailable—but during sex, their full attention is on you, creating the illusion of deep intimacy. This intensity can feel euphoric and even addictive because it’s one of the rare moments where you feel bonded, desired, seen, sexy, and emotionally connected. But the unfortunate reality? The high is always followed by an intense emotional crash, reinforcing the power imbalance that keeps you hooked.

***

One of the biggest fears of leaving a narcissistic relationship is:

What if I never feel this kind of passion again? What if sex in a healthy relationship feels boring? I hear you. If you’re wired for intensity, the idea of settling into a stable relationship can feel like trading passion for boredom—which is why so many people go back to the chaos (most of us do, multiple times). The fear of being with a nice, stable partner but having no chemistry is a real concern.

The reality is, intensity doesn’t have to mean instability. Mind-blowing, passionate sex can exist in safe, healthy relationships. In fact, it can be even better—because instead of being fueled by anxiety, it’s fueled by trust, playfulness, and deep emotional & sexual attunement. Dominance, surrender, and raw desire don’t disappear in the right, healthy relationship—they just become more expansive. Instead of chasing validation or fearing abandonment, you’re free to explore pleasure on your own terms, knowing the connection doesn’t vanish once the moment ends.

***

Things will still be wild again one day. Passion was never the problem.

It was just misplaced in the hands of someone who never deserved it. One last thing to remember: The sex wasn’t good because THEY were there—it was good because YOU were there, and it provided you with an exciting space to explore your own sexuality. That exploration doesn’t have to stop just because they’re gone. There are many more opportunities ahead of you to continue that important work.