Except for the bible app, this was all part of our routine for elementary ages and not that big a deal. Dinner together (but always no screen) was tougher in high school. I have 3 kids and am a SAHM, if that matters.

Anonymous wrote:Only five? Why are we pretending like sleep is optional? Or that hugging your kid takes the same effort as strength training?

Honestly, some of this list is just… life. They’re not “rituals,” they’re baseline functioning. Like, “homework” and “eating food” don’t get to be non-negotiables… they just are. Same with sleep. Unless your 8-year-old has a night shift I’m unaware of?

Also, what exactly is a “chore check”? Is that different from just… parenting? I don’t get the separate line item unless someone’s issuing formal progress reports on dish duty.

If the real issue is time, then sure, pick your top 3–5 moments of intentionality. But don’t lump “lunch” and “spiritual discussion” in the same category as “reading” and “laying out clothes.” One is soul work, the other is “Tuesday.”

Do what matters most. Ditch what doesn’t. But maybe rethink how you’re categorizing basic human maintenance.

Do your kids not eat lunch on Tuesdays?
But they have to lay out their clothes and read daily?

Strange list...you include hugs good night but not teeth brushing or showers

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

We do most of this:

Bible app, breakfast, lunch — we listen in the morning while kids are eating breakfast and I am making lunches. (My kids are more religious than I am, so this is something they make me do more than something I make them do.)

Dinner — 5-6 days a week since the kids were little.

Workout — after dinner a few days a week. DH takes one of the kids to the gym, and the others stay home with me and do dishes and workout in the basement (unless they are in season for their sport)

Chores — on your own time other than preparing for/cleaning up after dinner and dealing with trash.

Chore check — when the mood strikes me. Kids get a jolly rancher if their chores are done.

Homework — we go over what homework they have after school. They decide when to do it. I help if they ask for it.

Reading — we are a book family. This is also part of bedtime routine for everyone in the family. I read to my youngest. DH and the older kids read on their own before they fall asleep.

Lay out clothes for the week — I don’t do this. I do put school clothes in closets and home clothes in drawers. (Except for my youngest who wears underarmour everywhere….we use his closet for storage).


I have been told I’m a terrible mother on here as well, OP. Don’t listen to it. It’s part of the culture on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

Praise the lord

Actual non negotiables:

Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner
Chores
Homework
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night

Things you like doing because it’s the way you want to have your family do things:

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Reading
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

I won’t go the route of insulting you like others have, I’m sorry they did that.

However, you do need to think this through and think “what are the things that actually need to be done, and what non essentials do I want to prioritize?

For many people religion IS essential, but a daily spiritual discussion, which takes more than 20 minutes, is definitely not part of the day for the vast vast majority of religious people. It’s like, going to church weekly

Only five? Why are we pretending like sleep is optional? Or that hugging your kid takes the same effort as strength training?

Honestly, some of this list is just… life. They’re not “rituals,” they’re baseline functioning. Like, “homework” and “eating food” don’t get to be non-negotiables… they just are. Same with sleep. Unless your 8-year-old has a night shift I’m unaware of?

Also, what exactly is a “chore check”? Is that different from just… parenting? I don’t get the separate line item unless someone’s issuing formal progress reports on dish duty.

If the real issue is time, then sure, pick your top 3–5 moments of intentionality. But don’t lump “lunch” and “spiritual discussion” in the same category as “reading” and “laying out clothes.” One is soul work, the other is “Tuesday.”

Do what matters most. Ditch what doesn’t. But maybe rethink how you’re categorizing basic human maintenance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

You are insane.
Terrible parenting from "Bible app to chore check" "consistent bedtime wind-down"

I would hate to be so controlled. Just horrifyingly bad parenting.

Be honest. If the bible app was swapped out for meditation app, would you still be so breathtakingly negative?

Yep sure would.

No kid needs a meditation or bible app daily that is absurdly bad parenting.

Ages?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

You are insane.
Terrible parenting from "Bible app to chore check" "consistent bedtime wind-down"

I would hate to be so controlled. Just horrifyingly bad parenting.

Be honest. If the bible app was swapped out for meditation app, would you still be so breathtakingly negative?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

You are insane.
Terrible parenting from "Bible app to chore check" "consistent bedtime wind-down"

I would hate to be so controlled. Just horrifyingly bad parenting.

+1
also, yeah, meals are pretty non-negotiable. Unless you like dying.

"lay out clothes for the week"

Wow OP your poor kids

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

You are insane.
Terrible parenting from "Bible app to chore check" "consistent bedtime wind-down"

I would hate to be so controlled. Just horrifyingly bad parenting.

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

The ones from your list that we do everyday (elementary aged kids):

Breakfast, lunch, dinner
Chores / chore check
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down (this includes bedtime routine and good night hug)
Consistent bedtime (8 PM)

Spouse and I try to do a workout/strength training 5x/week

How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week