Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the original poster and it's a top 25 school and they would likely apply to a variety of top 50 schools and some liberal arts colleges. They could land in a peer school or in a school that is an academic/prestige step down. We don't really care about this but it's hard not to acknowledge it. Again, academics are going very well so this is not an issue of not being able to keep up or feeling in over their head academically.

Original poster again. Actually, I should rephrase this to say: They could land in a school that is a rankings step up, a peer school or a school that is a step down. Or a liberal arts college which probably would be a step down in some peoples' eyes based both on ranking and perception. They would be making a choice on fit, not on ranking.
Again, we are not rankings obsessed but for the purpose of this post I wanted to spell out what they're looking at and that they are not transferring to get into a more prestigious/academic school (which it seems is what quietly drives a lot of transfer pursuits).

I would totally allow my kid to apply and see where they get in if that's what my kid wanted to do. I should have transferred out of my Ivy during freshman year (or even sophomore year) but did not, and I regretted it. Lots of people loved the school I went to, but socially it wasn't a good fit for me and I never really found my people during the 4 years.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't worry one bit about this. It's all on them. Completely on them. All you should do is know if any other school would not be something you could afford. They do every single bit of the work to transfer/consider transferring/make the decision between schools if they are admitted and a choice needs to be made. They do all the hard work because, along the way, they will consider whether it's worth it. Their mind will wander to: what can I change about my current circumstance to be happier.

No matter what they decide, they own it. They have to. You have no crystal ball. Relieve yourself of a burden - you should not have in the first place

This!! Let them do it all. They own it entirely. No parental help. If you choose to try to “rescue” them, the drama will just continue. The grass is unlikely greener elsewhere. And when it proves not to be, the student needs to fully own it.

I wouldn't worry one bit about this. It's all on them. Completely on them. All you should do is know if any other school would not be something you could afford. They do every single bit of the work to transfer/consider transferring/make the decision between schools if they are admitted and a choice needs to be made. They do all the hard work because, along the way, they will consider whether it's worth it. Their mind will wander to: what can I change about my current circumstance to be happier.

No matter what they decide, they own it. They have to. You have no crystal ball. Relieve yourself of a burden - you should not have in the first place

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the original poster and it's a top 25 school and they would likely apply to a variety of top 50 schools and some liberal arts colleges. They could land in a peer school or in a school that is an academic/prestige step down. We don't really care about this but it's hard not to acknowledge it. Again, academics are going very well so this is not an issue of not being able to keep up or feeling in over their head academically.

Original poster again. Actually, I should rephrase this to say: They could land in a school that is a rankings step up, a peer school or a school that is a step down. Or a liberal arts college which probably would be a step down in some peoples' eyes based both on ranking and perception. They would be making a choice on fit, not on ranking.
Again, we are not rankings obsessed but for the purpose of this post I wanted to spell out what they're looking at and that they are not transferring to get into a more prestigious/academic school (which it seems is what quietly drives a lot of transfer pursuits).

Actually, you seem quite ranking obsessed. Take a deep breath and read your posts. “Prestige”, “top 25”, “could be a step down”. Maybe your kid ended up at the wrong school because you unintentionally were speaking in this coded language all along?

Kids transfer all the time for varied reasons. I do think if it’s social, there’s still plenty of time to make friends. But sometimes a school is just not the right culture. They can apply for a transfer now but don’t have to make a final decision for a few months so there’s no harm in trying. My senior who is very outgoing actually didn’t find his group until junior year.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Transferring is not unusual. Offhand, I know 2 current freshman looking/applying to transfer for next year. There is no guarantee that they'll get into another school but its worth a shot if they want to try. And if they get accepted and things improve where they are now, they can decline. The difficulty may be figuring out where to apply and then going through the hassle of the whole essay application process again. But I would support my kid if they had a compelling reason.

why are these kids looking to transfer?

One is at a slac and they feel it is socially limiting. I think they would prefer a more urban/ less isolating location. I think the other is at a med size school that isnt very social. I also know 2 other kids who transferred this year - 1 from a t25 to an ivy and 1 kid from a west coast to an east coast school. Kid gew up on west coast, did a gap year before college, and i think the realized they wanted something different. I also know kids who do the cornell sophomore transfer option where they start freshman year elsewhere and then go to cornell sophomore year. Many examples and reasons...

Leave it up to her to apply to a transfer. That will require a fair amount of leg work (ordering transcript, getting professor recommendations, writing an essay) which will test how determined she actually is. At this point, she only has a few weeks to apply for next fall.

Ask her why the new school will be different and how she will find that out before applying. She can try to transfer but only with a social "business" case for each application and to schools that do not cost more.

Anonymous wrote:Transferring is not unusual. Offhand, I know 2 current freshman looking/applying to transfer for next year. There is no guarantee that they'll get into another school but its worth a shot if they want to try. And if they get accepted and things improve where they are now, they can decline. The difficulty may be figuring out where to apply and then going through the hassle of the whole essay application process again. But I would support my kid if they had a compelling reason.

why are these kids looking to transfer?

OP

Transfering is fine not an easy thing for a sophmore. Of course grades need to be 3.0 or better. Sounds like academics are not the issue.

Transfering to a liberal arts school is dumb if this is a social issue it is not getting fixed at those.

Why not just transfer to a school instate?

Anonymous wrote:I'm the original poster and it's a top 25 school and they would likely apply to a variety of top 50 schools and some liberal arts colleges. They could land in a peer school or in a school that is an academic/prestige step down. We don't really care about this but it's hard not to acknowledge it. Again, academics are going very well so this is not an issue of not being able to keep up or feeling in over their head academically.

Original poster again. Actually, I should rephrase this to say: They could land in a school that is a rankings step up, a peer school or a school that is a step down. Or a liberal arts college which probably would be a step down in some peoples' eyes based both on ranking and perception. They would be making a choice on fit, not on ranking.
Again, we are not rankings obsessed but for the purpose of this post I wanted to spell out what they're looking at and that they are not transferring to get into a more prestigious/academic school (which it seems is what quietly drives a lot of transfer pursuits).

Transferring is not unusual. Offhand, I know 2 current freshman looking/applying to transfer for next year. There is no guarantee that they'll get into another school but its worth a shot if they want to try. And if they get accepted and things improve where they are now, they can decline. The difficulty may be figuring out where to apply and then going through the hassle of the whole essay application process again. But I would support my kid if they had a compelling reason.

I'm the original poster and it's a top 25 school and they would likely apply to a variety of top 50 schools and some liberal arts colleges. They could land in a peer school or in a school that is an academic/prestige step down. We don't really care about this but it's hard not to acknowledge it. Again, academics are going very well so this is not an issue of not being able to keep up or feeling in over their head academically.

It really matters what school from and which school to.

I feel like if they apply for it and ask to transfer, and there are any major impediments like cost or anything else that would put you out, you should support it.

Ultimately, it’s their life, and it’s only our role to give guidance and let them live with their decision decisions. Even if you think they’re making the wrong decision.

My freshman wants to transfer from their medium sized school. This has been a pretty consistent opinion since about 6 weeks into school last fall. There have been times that things got better but it's never really gone away. They're a very social kid who historically had many friends (that they keep up with closely) and no difficulties making friends but they're just not finding their people at this university. They have made one good friend but long for a bigger community. They've done all the things: clubs, club sports, religious organizations, etc. Their hall was not a source of friends and their roommate is nice but super introverted and spends most of their time in the room (so is not a help in the friend-making department).

It's hard for us to not worry that transferring will just kick the can down the road. What if the next school is also a bad fit? Also people keep telling us that social things will get better spring of sophomore year. But the hear and now is that they didn't want to go back to school, they want to come home now. They are not depressed (they see a therapist and I really don't think it's depression) and again, they've never had difficulty making friends before. They changed schools for high school and had to reinvent their social scene at that time and had no issues whatsoever. It just seems like the culture of the school is not a good fit.

Anyone in the same place or have experience with this? I don't even know how you convince colleges to take a transfer for this reason. I'm sure they get transfers who spell out "bad fit" but it's generally not what they want to hear. Grades are good but the thought of starting everything again from application to new student orientation seems horrible. We have an older child and they just settled into their school (different one) and never had a hiccup.