If the issue is just that the kid is gifted, the child should be able to supplement with personal work. Most likely the child is neurodiverse, and the parent's behavior indicates it might be hereditary.

Parents who do this usually have issues that are separate from their child's high IQ. I talked a lot about my oldest's intelligence and existing issues when he was in elementary, because he was too young to get a full neuropsychological evaluation and we did not understand his needs... hence why I talked about it with my fellow parents. They were very nice and patient with me, even though I must have been annoying! Sorry, OP. He ended up being diagnosed with autism and ADHD.

I never talked about my second's intelligence, because she had no issues - she's just gifted, which is so pleasant - and since she was the second child, we already knew how to provide enrichment outside of school.

Just nod and change the subject when you can.

That lady sounds like a PITA. But she also sounds like her kid is quite young. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint, and she'll run into some real problems soon enough and stop yammering about this imaginary problem.

I have no idea whether the parent in question has a child who is “gifted”. Whether she does or not, comparing her child to any other is ridiculous because every child has individual strengths and weaknesses. Moreover, even if a direct comparison is made on any specific measure (a test score, a picture, a race time, etc.), good manners should dictate that the one who happened to “rank higher” shouldn’t comment negatively on the one who was “ranked lower”, ESPECIALLY when they’re children.

However, while I don’t think learning should be viewed as a competition, I do think that every child should have the opportunity to learn new content in school and to be able to challenge themselves. Knowledge shouldn’t be rationed. While I can understand her frustration, she is handling it wrong.

Here is my advice for your fellow parent:

Never use the word “bored”. It is both ambiguous and inflammatory. To a teacher, while it could mean that your child already knows the material, it is equally (if not more) likely to mean that the work is too difficult for your child or that the work just isn’t fun. Instead, when talking to the school use specific terms about your child’s knowledge of specific content. Don’t discuss it with parents unless they initiate the topic.

The word “gifted” is extremely squishy. There are different definitions of giftedness, which are measured with different types of assessments, each with different thresholds. It is entirely possible for the same child to be identified as gifted on one measure but not by another, or even on the same measure given at different times. This word should be used sparingly, only being productive when used to demonstrate that by their own criteria your child qualifies for services from their school or other organization. Discussing your child’s giftedness with other parents generally serves no purpose other than to foster resentment.

If you feel your child needs the opportunity to learn more, arrange to talk to the teacher at a time of their convenience. Describe as precisely as possible their current knowledge and skill level. Don’t just complain or expect them to solve your problem. Instead, cooperatively suggest a solution that will place minimal demands on the teacher (grade skipping, working independently on the computer, working independently on work you send in and correct at home, etc.). Be flexible and open to any workable solution they might suggest, recognizing that they don’t have to help. Be prepared to supplement at home.

For information related to every facet of giftedness as well as resources for supplementing, I highly recommend the Hoagies website.
https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/index.htm

It’s been going on for quite a while: both first and second grade.

What grade is this? Just curious.

What do these types parents want or expect of their “gifted” children. Do they really think these kids are the next Einstein or do they think their children will win a Nobel Prize? I seriously don’t get it!

OP here. Considering the amount of time this mother talks about her child being “gifted”, I will be disappointed if this child does not grow up to do something extraordinary.

Yes, people like this are irritating. I have also come across parents who don't say this stuff out loud but are constantly trying to redirect school resources to help their "gifted" child. In the worst such case, their kid was not gifted, he's just been redshirted and was average for his actual age, which became obvious as the kids got older. That did not stop his mom from constantly insisting he wasn't being sufficiently challenged in class and demanding the creation of special pullouts and groups and after school programming to help "keep him engaged."

Anonymous wrote:I think you sound jealous.

OP here. I’m not jealous. It’s just very tiresome listening to this mother go on and on and on about her child being “gifted”.

I think you sound jealous.

Anonymous wrote:A fellow parent is always complaining to me that her child is “gifted” and hence bored at school. We have had literally dozens of conversations about this. So far, I have been polite. Her conversations imply that my child and other children in the grade are too dumb to be in the same class as her kid. She should either take action and have her child skip a grade or enter a talented and gifted program or just shut up. Da Vinci and Einstein and even Bill Gates are/were geniuses but I seriously doubt the giftedness of this child is going to make a difference to the world.

Yeah, I have one of these in our community. I would also say she's bought it up literally dozens of times! Maybe we are at the same school.

That's not all parents of "gifted" kids. Just a small, small subset. I think what you meant to say is "tone deaf people who can't read a room are so annoying."

But anyway, work on a response to shut the conversation down and move on. "I'm afraid I'm not the right person to help you know what to do with Larla, but good luck! Now did you hear about..." Plus distance yourself.

That is obnoxious. My “gifted” kid wrote poetry when she was done with classwork ahead of everyone else. I never ever complained to anyone about the challenge or lack therof.

Maybe you can suggest to your friend that she self -enrich by writing stories/poetry/invent things when bored. See what she says to that.

A fellow parent is always complaining to me that her child is “gifted” and hence bored at school. We have had literally dozens of conversations about this. So far, I have been polite. Her conversations imply that my child and other children in the grade are too dumb to be in the same class as her kid. She should either take action and have her child skip a grade or enter a talented and gifted program or just shut up. Da Vinci and Einstein and even Bill Gates are/were geniuses but I seriously doubt the giftedness of this child is going to make a difference to the world.