Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 23:15     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Have you considered rejection sensitivity dysphoria?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 21:50     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Therapy

Also consider how old you are. Are you entering perimenopause?


See, I'm a different poster and I am in perimenopause and I feel this way. I don't socialize a lot (work from home, teen kids to feed, etc. was sick over the holidays) and this past weekend I have several social opps and then could not fall asleep Sat or Sun thinking of all the stupid things I said! I am curious if peri is playing into it!


It could be. I'm wondering for myself as well. Changing hormones can heighten anxiety and mess with sleep and then those two things feed on each other into a spiral.

Also parenting teens who, even the most lovely ones, can sometimes be blunt in their opinions, can bring up insecurities. For me, that plus working from home since COVID had weakened my social skills and social confidence.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 21:42     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Anonymous wrote:Toastmasters is designed to address this.


I've never done Toastmasters but I have heard this from people who have.

OP, some CBT therapy might be a good idea. Remember, you are the only person focusing on this as much as you are, and if there is something you say that is stupid or whatever you have millions of people out-stupiding you and they are everywhere.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 21:40     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Work with a speaking coach! I’ve worked with two and it helped me with my speaking fear SO much. One would give me lists of what to say in certain situations that I could refer to.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 21:14     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
I recently got like this. I first noticed it with trying not to misgender people or "step in it" wrt race or ethnicity. And now I have to be so careful with political fallout from all sides.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 21:09     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Anonymous wrote:Therapy

Also consider how old you are. Are you entering perimenopause?


See, I'm a different poster and I am in perimenopause and I feel this way. I don't socialize a lot (work from home, teen kids to feed, etc. was sick over the holidays) and this past weekend I have several social opps and then could not fall asleep Sat or Sun thinking of all the stupid things I said! I am curious if peri is playing into it!
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 21:06     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Therapy

Also consider how old you are. Are you entering perimenopause?
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 21:00     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Me too, to some extent. It ebbs and flows depending on my general baseline level of anxiety. Ssris provide welcome relief (if the side effects don’t bother you)
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 20:55     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Is this new behavior?
Do breathing exercises and meditation.
Also Toastmasters for public speaking.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 20:48     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Toastmasters is designed to address this.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 20:46     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Same. Everybody tells me to do improv.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 20:39     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Anonymous wrote:Whenever I talk to someone, anyone, I get SO in my head about whether I said the right thing or offended someone, talked too much. It's gotten to the point I've developed a phobia of speaking. I just forced myself to participate during a zoom. My boss seemed interested in what I said, but I feel like I took up too much space and sounded dumb in the way I phrased my ideas. I will now replay this for a couple hours and feel like the biggest idiot. A couple months ago I went to a wedding and I will have thoughts pop in my head randomly about whether I sounded like an ass when I said bye to the bride, or whether a comment I made to a distant cousin was rude. If dh takes our dog to the park, I don't even want to go because I fear I'll say something stupid to someone. How do I stop being like that?



Ugh. I am the same way. Following.
Also I would like to note that I was never this way until I went to professional school and dated someone who would be considered out of my league from a class standpoint. That triggered all of this.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 13:48     Subject: Re:Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Social anxiety. Try Paxil.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 13:47     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
I do this too. I second guess so much of what I say, thinking I must have sounded like an idiot. But then I remember that people don’t pay that much attention and may be worrying about the same thing and I try to get over it.
Anonymous
Post 01/14/2026 13:41     Subject: Hyper self-cousciousness when I talk
Whenever I talk to someone, anyone, I get SO in my head about whether I said the right thing or offended someone, talked too much. It's gotten to the point I've developed a phobia of speaking. I just forced myself to participate during a zoom. My boss seemed interested in what I said, but I feel like I took up too much space and sounded dumb in the way I phrased my ideas. I will now replay this for a couple hours and feel like the biggest idiot. A couple months ago I went to a wedding and I will have thoughts pop in my head randomly about whether I sounded like an ass when I said bye to the bride, or whether a comment I made to a distant cousin was rude. If dh takes our dog to the park, I don't even want to go because I fear I'll say something stupid to someone. How do I stop being like that?