Oh, you mean the activities BEFORE the sex?

Anonymous wrote:I'm a man. Here are some things I've done with women in their forties (also thirties and fifties):

Coffee
Drink
Lunch
Dinner (super cheap to super expensive)
Walk
Art gallery or museum
Dancing
Concert (bad for first date)
Theater (bad for first date)
Hike (bad for first date)
Baseball or basketball game (bad for first date)
Cooking (bad for first date)
Kayak (bad for first date)
Rally (bad for first date)

That's a lot of bad date activities. What made them bad?

Rally? A protest rally or something else?

I'm a man. Here are some things I've done with women in their forties (also thirties and fifties):

Coffee
Drink
Lunch
Dinner (super cheap to super expensive)
Walk
Art gallery or museum
Dancing
Concert (bad for first date)
Theater (bad for first date)
Hike (bad for first date)
Baseball or basketball game (bad for first date)
Cooking (bad for first date)
Kayak (bad for first date)
Rally (bad for first date)

Dance show, movie I wanted to see, hopon bus sightseeing because I’m relatively new to the area, museum event, Dave and Buster’s

Like 10? It was def a few months in.

Anonymous wrote:Hockey game, Eastern shore, Kennedy Center show so far with one guy.

What date number was this?!

I find that the longer I talk to a guy the more they want a formal date than a meetup with just coffee.

Anonymous wrote:I would never put that much time into a first date. What if he's a loser? The first date's purpose is to discard bad picks PP. Why not wait until the next date to actually do something?

+1

I wonder if that PP goes on dates at all or is just making stuff up.

I do like your list PP

Anonymous wrote:I would never put that much time into a first date. What if he's a loser? The first date's purpose is to discard bad picks PP. Why not wait until the next date to actually do something?

Because if I'm getting off the couch to begin with I'm going to do something I enjoy.

I would never put that much time into a first date. What if he's a loser? The first date's purpose is to discard bad picks PP. Why not wait until the next date to actually do something?

Dating in your 40s, especially when you have no common starting point other than OLD is hard. When we were in college you could talk about classes you had together or people you knew in common. Now the starting ground was did you find parking ok, the weather, and maybe your kids.

I like to do something rather than stare at the person I don't know across a table. I really don't care what it is but there has to be something to talk about. I created a list because it seems many people aren't interested in putting forth anymore effort than coffee or a drink. These are all activities that I would do with an existing friend or things I want to do anyway. If someone can't find something to do with me from my list than chances are we won't be a good match because we don't seem to have common interests.

Some things on my list:
Sporting events (baseball/basketball/hockey)--I'm happy to buy the tickets.
Ice Skating
Kayaking
Hiking
Various DC Pop Up events (Museum of Illusions, Candlelight Concerts, DC Travel Show)
Tasting Menus (we each pay our share)
Arcades/Ax throwing/bowling

Yes, all of my "dates" take longer than a 30 min/hour coffee date but they are things I like to do anyway and I would do them with or without a date. It's true some people don't want to invest that much time in a first date. That's okay with me. But when I sit across the table from someone I have no common ground with, it feels like a job interview.

Hockey game, Eastern shore, Kennedy Center show so far with one guy.

I've been dating some duds, cheap and lazy and who can't plan anything or maybe it's how they see me as expendable, not worth the in investment. I don't know. What has your experience been?