Anonymous wrote:When most of them are crappy fathers anyway. Same with women.

They're not desperate to be dads. They're desperate for the social benefits (i.e., taken more seriously at work) of attaining the status of dad. They're also competitive with other men, with kids being just another collectible like cars or watches. That's why they always find a woman to foist all the responsibility on while they mentally check out and chase the next item on their never ending bucket list.

They think they accomplished something by leaving a legacy.

All they did was jizz without a condom. It's not an accomplishment. They don't grow the baby, they don't birth the baby, they don't nourish the baby, they don't usually raise them either. 25% of children in the US grow up without a father.

When most of them are crappy fathers anyway. Same with women.

You suck as a parent because you want to suck at it. Same reason as your parents did.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never met a man desperate to be a dad. Are these the same men who have pregnant women fetishes?

Dh is a fantastic dad, as were our own dads. All would have had full, happy lives without children. Dh wasn’t bothered by our own infertility issues.

In my own life, it’s the women I know who really want kids and have to convince men to have kids.

They think dads like me who’ve previously had kids, and are willing to give another women some, are desperate to have more kids for her validation or approval , we aren’t. I’m a good dad, willing to have more, that’s what we’re here to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the premise is true. People aren't desperate to be parents but they feel like it's the next step and that parenting is a source of deep meaning to their lives, which it is.

They they are blindsided by how hard it is, because no matter how much people tell you, you don't know until you try for yourself

Yes it can be deep meaning to their lives but isn't that with the right person? I think it all depends on who you pick to have kids with. Otherwise the kids suffer and who wants that

You should totally write a relationship book! This is super insightful.

Anonymous wrote:When most of them are crappy fathers anyway. Same with women.

I don’t think that’s true.

I’ve never met a man desperate to be a dad. Are these the same men who have pregnant women fetishes?

Dh is a fantastic dad, as were our own dads. All would have had full, happy lives without children. Dh wasn’t bothered by our own infertility issues.

In my own life, it’s the women I know who really want kids and have to convince men to have kids.

I don’t know. Maybe older men in their 40s or 50s with no kids.

When dh and i were early 30s, I wanted the kids and went along. He wanted kids as a concept sometime but would have easily waited another 10-20 years. My timeline was more pressing. He’s an involved dad but I wouldn’t describe him at the time as “desperate to become dad”.

I reject this premise.

I think women are still more interested in having kids than men.

All of us have parents so the default role in society is to be a parent.

But the whole idea of a "bio clock" for women comes from the comparative lack of pressure on men in this society to marry and have kids with same age women.

Another “Men are so desperate” thread.

Anonymous wrote:The dads I know who were really desperate to be dads are also very involved dads. The only dads I know who are crappy dads are terrible people in general so I don't think it's specific to kids.

My dad was very involved but he was and still is a crappy dad and a bad person in general.

The dads I know who were really desperate to be dads are also very involved dads. The only dads I know who are crappy dads are terrible people in general so I don't think it's specific to kids.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the premise is true. People aren't desperate to be parents but they feel like it's the next step and that parenting is a source of deep meaning to their lives, which it is.

They they are blindsided by how hard it is, because no matter how much people tell you, you don't know until you try for yourself

Yes it can be deep meaning to their lives but isn't that with the right person? I think it all depends on who you pick to have kids with. Otherwise the kids suffer and who wants that

I don't think the premise is true. People aren't desperate to be parents but they feel like it's the next step and that parenting is a source of deep meaning to their lives, which it is.

They they are blindsided by how hard it is, because no matter how much people tell you, you don't know until you try for yourself

When most of them are crappy fathers anyway. Same with women.