We have three kids, hhi was just over a million last year (but that was unusual).
We spent 4k/month in 2025, not counting travel. With a family of 5, I feel like travel is always super expensive, and we do it a lot. Probably at least 2k/month more just on travel.

I know it’s nuts.

I’m not sure. They are preteen and teen and they eat a lot. They do travel sports. They are growing. Maybe an average of $2k month not including hotels we have to pa from when they travel for sports. It’s not unusual for them to not be on different cities on the same
Weekend for a sport. Those usually run about $3k if not flying.

1st grader, one kid and done.
We spend around $1000 per month during the school year for aftercare and activities. Around $250 per month for a sitter during date nights. Summer camp is around $6k. Clothing is around $1k per year but that is entirely discretionary.

If I figure
30k for school
4k for summer camps
1k/month for everything else

That’s about $4k/month

Like $3k a month I think

$500 for middle school kid. $190 of it is health insurance, the rest is food.
18-year old lives with family paying them some rent from his own earnings. I think he makes more money than I do.
He was cheaper than the younger DC- $300 a month. The $8k I managed to invest for him in 529, grew enough to pay for most of his in-state college.
Never had daycare expense and their activities have been free or cheap. Spanish was $15 an hour after school and math club is free.

HHI $340k (has been this high for 4 years)
Kids are 19 and 21, both in college
One of their colleges costs $55k, one $92k annually (room and board, doesn't include books or trips to visit them where we need to stay in a hotel)

3rd grader
$1k 529
$3.5k private school
$1k activities
$1.5k 50% of childcare

Now multiply everything by 2 for the second one.

Preschooler. A lot. But we do a lot of activities.

One toddler, HHI $320k
Daycare $2400
529 $600
Diapers $50
Food/snacks $100 (SO many berries)

1300 per month in 529
320 in aftercare per month

7K for summer camps (overnight and day camps)

3 different sports 3k per year

Clothing is usually around 1000 per year. We also spend on his sports equipment, ski equipement 400 per year, new ski clothing every other year or so 600 (300 per year), cleats for baseball and soccer. Probably a total of another 900 or so.

Those are the big ones. I don't know how much extra we spend in food or incidentals. We spend more on vacations because we usually get a suite type hotel room or an AirBnB so we can have a room plus his airfare and whatever extra we spend on him for souveniers and food.

HHI $275k. Three kids.

Baby is most expensive. $3200 (!!) a month for nanny share. Formula is another $200 a month roughly. Throw in diapers, wipes, tiny bits of food, random stuff... we're probably at about $3,500 all in for him. We never have to buy clothes or toys.

Preschooler and a young elementary schooler - very cheap. $400 a month each for aftercare. We do DPR camps in the summer, so it's actually not much more. Swimming lessons run us about $200 each, 4 sessions a year. That's our only activity. Food - they get free breakfast, lunch, and snacks at school, so it's not much - dinner and weekends. But they like a lot of stuff that's pretty expensive (ra$pberrie$). I'd guess maybe $200 a kid a month? Mostly hand me down clothes. Mostly we swap babysitting with neighbors. I'd say maybe $100 a kid in random monthly incidentals? So, maybe like $800 a month? Maybe less?

TL;DR:

Baby $3600
PKer: $800
Early Elem: $800

I've got one nine year old.

The easiest things to account for are the following (everything prorated to be over a year even though obviously you don't pay for summer camps like that)

$350 beforecare
$400 on activities
$300 summer camps
$1,000 contributed to the college fund

I don't really keep separate track of food, clothes, and other random stuff for her, but I'd estimate that at $100/week. I don't think we actually spend much more on vacations because we have a kid, I estimated our vacation expenses last year and divided them by three and got $100 a month.

All in, I'd guess $2,600, but once you get passed the stuff like childcare and college, I'm doing a lot of guessing.

Kid ages factors in here. We spend maybe $300-400/month per kid above what we would spend without them, factoring in food, diapers, snacks, (cheap!) sports, museum memberships, etc. The biggest cost is the minivan and an extra room on vacations. We probably need a bigger house in the next 5 years too, which is 100% because of our kids and will not be cheap.

But we don't have to pay for any childcare/before care/aftercare, our kids are too young for expensive hobbies or sports yet, and we don't have expensive summer camps. So it could certainly be worse.

How much do you think your child or children cost you per month. How much do you spend beyond what you would spend without your kids. Looking for a monthly average per child. Please say if it is an infant, preschooler, school age or teen. Or different averages if you have more than 1 of different ages.

We apparently spend a lot less than some others. Trying to get a feel for what is normal or the range.
Add HHI if possible.