Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is when the kids (mostly because of their parents) portray a school to be much worse than it actually is, causing the kids who will likely go to that school unnecessary anxiety. Reality is fine, exaggeration and rumor are not.

I agree that is a problem, but think it happens because parents avoid having direct conversations with their kids. Parents whisper about this stuff to each other and think their kids aren't listening or soaking it up, and kids will read tone, fill in the gaps, and exaggerate things they hear.

This is really critical for us because we live on the Hill, our kids attend a DCPS elementary, and our oldest will be in 4th next year. Which means figuring out what we are going to do about MS and HS, deciding if we will lottery for Latin and Basis (we almost certainly will), deciding what to do if we don't get in (likely stay as we are okay with Stuart-Hobson, our feeder), and what that means for our future (a big old question mark on HS). Gearing up to explain this to your kids in a way that makes sense, won't freak them out our create anxiety, but also won't result in them contributing to the anxiety of other kids/families who are in these are boat at their school, is genuinely daunting. But I know we do in fact have to discuss it with them and provide a narrative for all these choices that doesn't just crap all over schools that (1) many of their kids might wind up attending, or (2) schools they themselves might end up attending.

This is not easy and I would actually welcome advice on how to frame it. I think we know how we'd like to lay it out, but I have trepidation about it. We've already been through this once when we moved our kids from one elementary to another, and I think we handled it well, but yes we received a lot of questions about "is this school better than our old school?" and "what was wrong with our old school?" We talked about fit, after school programs, being able to walk to school and having friends from school who lived nearby, but always emphasized that we had a good experience at the old school and liked the teachers and the students. I feel like this time is harder though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The problem is when the kids (mostly because of their parents) portray a school to be much worse than it actually is, causing the kids who will likely go to that school unnecessary anxiety. Reality is fine, exaggeration and rumor are not.

I agree that is a problem, but think it happens because parents avoid having direct conversations with their kids. Parents whisper about this stuff to each other and think their kids aren't listening or soaking it up, and kids will read tone, fill in the gaps, and exaggerate things they hear.

This is really critical for us because we live on the Hill, our kids attend a DCPS elementary, and our oldest will be in 4th next year. Which means figuring out what we are going to do about MS and HS, deciding if we will lottery for Latin and Basis (we almost certainly will), deciding what to do if we don't get in (likely stay as we are okay with Stuart-Hobson, our feeder), and what that means for our future (a big old question mark on HS). Gearing up to explain this to your kids in a way that makes sense, won't freak them out our create anxiety, but also won't result in them contributing to the anxiety of other kids/families who are in these are boat at their school, is genuinely daunting. But I know we do in fact have to discuss it with them and provide a narrative for all these choices that doesn't just crap all over schools that (1) many of their kids might wind up attending, or (2) schools they themselves might end up attending.

This is not easy and I would actually welcome advice on how to frame it. I think we know how we'd like to lay it out, but I have trepidation about it. We've already been through this once when we moved our kids from one elementary to another, and I think we handled it well, but yes we received a lot of questions about "is this school better than our old school?" and "what was wrong with our old school?" We talked about fit, after school programs, being able to walk to school and having friends from school who lived nearby, but always emphasized that we had a good experience at the old school and liked the teachers and the students. I feel like this time is harder though.

Anonymous wrote:The problem is when the kids (mostly because of their parents) portray a school to be much worse than it actually is, causing the kids who will likely go to that school unnecessary anxiety. Reality is fine, exaggeration and rumor are not.

Anonymous wrote:The problem is when the kids (mostly because of their parents) portray a school to be much worse than it actually is, causing the kids who will likely go to that school unnecessary anxiety. Reality is fine, exaggeration and rumor are not.

Anonymous wrote:I never talk about any school being bad or good, and we have always emphasized to our kids that we seek to have them in schools that are a good fit above all else, and that we factor in things like commute and extra curricular options. There are ways to discuss it that don't put down schools their friends attend.

But I actually think it's important to inform your kids about the lottery, how public school in DC works with DCPS and charters and IB and OOB situations, as well as the existence of private schools and what that means. In some ways it's a bummer for kids to have to learn about all this as early as they do in DC, but it's the reality and it's better for the kids to know what is actually going on. Like my kids understand what the lottery is, know it's arbitrary who gets a good number in the lottery, and that entry into some schools is based on luck. That's a hard thing for a 10 or 11 year old to understand, especially if they are learning about it when their friend had "good luck" and they did not. But it's reality and they have to learn.

You can't shield your kids from this stuff. You have to figure out how to talk about it in a way that doesn't put down other families or schools, but it will reveal your values to your kids and could prompt some tough questions like "so do you think Joey is going to a bad school, since you went out of your way to lottery me out of that school?" or "if Marcus got into that school and I didn't, does that mean Marcus is going to get a better education than me?" You have to learn how to answer these questions. It's hard.

Anonymous wrote:I never talk about any school being bad or good, and we have always emphasized to our kids that we seek to have them in schools that are a good fit above all else, and that we factor in things like commute and extra curricular options. There are ways to discuss it that don't put down schools their friends attend.

Anonymous wrote:My middle schooler has friends at lots of different schools in DC and has heard things from his friends about "winning" the lottery for certain schools, which schools are "bad," and that his current science curriculum (Amplify) is problematic.

Anonymous wrote:My middle schooler has friends at lots of different schools in DC and has heard things from his friends about "winning" the lottery for certain schools, which schools are "bad," and that his current science curriculum (Amplify) is problematic.