Anonymous
01/07/2026 14:10
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you sound a bit gender neutral/asexual. Did you feel like you were repressed or not fitting in during your youth?
OP here and not sure if you're talking to me or the PP. I'm straight and don't consider myself asexual.
However, I almost never felt like I fit in, and still don't quite.
I'm not sure "not fitting in" has any relevance to feeling like a tomboy. I'm not (at all!) a tomboy and I've always felt like I don't fit in.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 14:07
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
Anonymous wrote:In some ways I was a tomboy - in that I was never into hair or makeup or Barbies and I liked to go fast and ride bikes. But in other ways I was girly - loved ballet and Broadway, museums and unicorns. I'm still mostly the same in my 40's. Maybe less with the unicorns.
It seems to me that kids now who would have been called tomboys think they're lesbians.
Um, are MUSEUMS now girly? I have two kids one boy one girl, who we have always taken and still take to museums. They are in hs and the boy plays sports at the national level. Their dad loves museums too.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph...this is going too far.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 14:05
Subject: Re:Middle-aged tomboys
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm a tomboy. I have 7 brothers, no sisters. I still prefer men's clothes. I do buy men's sweaters/sweats/etc.
When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.
I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.
I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.
I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.
Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.
OP here and I relate to a lot of this. I was computer programmer for years before switching to a related field.
It was actually clothes & makeup that made me think about this topic specifically.
After a long time working remotely, I'm interviewing now, and for the level I'm interviewing at, there is this expectation of looking the part. I 100% feel like I'm playing dress up and don't feel like myself at all. It's such an odd feeling and I wonder if I'll get used to it.
Can you do what Rachel Maddow does and put on makeup (for interviews), an impeccable suit, and a tad of hair styling? Then see where it goes, and what you have to keep up with? Good luck!
Anonymous
01/07/2026 14:04
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
Anonymous wrote:I think you sound a bit gender neutral/asexual. Did you feel like you were repressed or not fitting in during your youth?
OP here and not sure if you're talking to me or the PP. I'm straight and don't consider myself asexual.
However, I almost never felt like I fit in, and still don't quite.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 14:02
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
Hey OP,
I can be at any moments, lol. Like, doing yard work, what not! I also like beauty products, trying to look younger, but mostly just an old lady nowadays.
Really enjoyed, proud to be a tomboy growing up. I was in the right place, time. So many fond memories of feeling cool and just being so carefree!
Felt pretty out of my own skin from 15-25 but all worked out I suppose.
I can be at any moments, lol. Like, doing yard work, what not! I also like beauty products, trying to look younger, but mostly just an old lady nowadays.
Really enjoyed, proud to be a tomboy growing up. I was in the right place, time. So many fond memories of feeling cool and just being so carefree!
Felt pretty out of my own skin from 15-25 but all worked out I suppose.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 14:02
Subject: Re:Middle-aged tomboys
Anonymous wrote:I'm a tomboy. I have 7 brothers, no sisters. I still prefer men's clothes. I do buy men's sweaters/sweats/etc.
When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.
I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.
I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.
I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.
Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.
OP here and I relate to a lot of this. I was computer programmer for years before switching to a related field.
It was actually clothes & makeup that made me think about this topic specifically.
After a long time working remotely, I'm interviewing now, and for the level I'm interviewing at, there is this expectation of looking the part. I 100% feel like I'm playing dress up and don't feel like myself at all. It's such an odd feeling and I wonder if I'll get used to it.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 13:54
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
I think you sound a bit gender neutral/asexual. Did you feel like you were repressed or not fitting in during your youth?
Anonymous
01/07/2026 13:51
Subject: Re:Middle-aged tomboys
I'm a tomboy. I have 7 brothers, no sisters. I still prefer men's clothes. I do buy men's sweaters/sweats/etc.
When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.
I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.
I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.
I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.
Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.
When I wear dresses, etc I feel like I'm cosplaying.
I've found ways to "dress androgenous" in a way that is "stylish" ... more so than sweats.
I did wear a dress when I married but the idea of a wedding dress was just too much cosplay.
I have a degree in Math, I'm an CS Engineer. I love sports and outdoorsy stuff.
Mostly through my life my closest friends were male. I've learned how to blend since after leaving college and males as your closest friends is just not an option.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 13:46
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
Anonymous wrote:It’s the opposite of being a “cozy girl.”
What? A cozy girl can be a tomboy.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 13:44
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
It’s the opposite of being a “cozy girl.”
Anonymous
01/07/2026 13:40
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
I was a tomboy growing up too. As a middle aged woman, I am still pretty similar, don't mind getting dirty, don't wear nails or make-up, dress for comfort, like to be outdoors and active, don't wear high heels. I am still independent, free spirited, enjoy adventure, etc.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 13:38
Subject: Re:Middle-aged tomboys
DW was briefly a tomboy growing up.
Now she’s a true rockstar-scientist-brainiac who fought her way to the top of her class and earned a doctorate and is a top-rate mom and spouse.
Now she’s a true rockstar-scientist-brainiac who fought her way to the top of her class and earned a doctorate and is a top-rate mom and spouse.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 13:38
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
In some ways I was a tomboy - in that I was never into hair or makeup or Barbies and I liked to go fast and ride bikes. But in other ways I was girly - loved ballet and Broadway, museums and unicorns. I'm still mostly the same in my 40's. Maybe less with the unicorns.
It seems to me that kids now who would have been called tomboys think they're lesbians.
It seems to me that kids now who would have been called tomboys think they're lesbians.
Anonymous
01/07/2026 13:30
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
Why don’t you define/describe what you mean, op?
Anonymous
01/07/2026 13:14
Subject: Middle-aged tomboys
I don't know if that word is used anymore, but in the 80s and 90s that's what I was called.
I'm in my mid-40s now and still feel like a tomboy.
I've started to get curious about other people who were tomboys growing up. Do you still feel like you are? How has it impacted your relationships?
I'm in my mid-40s now and still feel like a tomboy.
I've started to get curious about other people who were tomboys growing up. Do you still feel like you are? How has it impacted your relationships?